Reflecting on my Dave Grohl Moment

In 1994, Tom Petty asked Dave Grohl to join his legendary band as the Heartbreakers’ drummer. At the time, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers were riding a comeback to popularity that had started five or so years earlier on the heels of Petty’s debut solo album, the band’s Learning to Fly single, and their Greatest Hits collection.

And Grohl himself was just returning to music after the death of Kurt Cobain and the subsequent dismantling of Nirvana.?

It would have been easy to say yes, to slip back into his role behind the drum kit playing someone else’s songs.

But Dave Grohl said no.?

He had his own music to write, he told Petty. He had a project in mind that he wanted to see through. He had a dream.

“I was supposed to just join another band and be a drummer the rest of my life,” he said. “I thought that I would rather do what no one expected me to do.”

No disrespect to Tom Petty, but we all know the music world wouldn’t be the same without the band that eventually became the Foo Fighters.?

I thought about Dave Grohl and this exact moment years ago. Silver Oak was in its infancy. We were excited about the future, but just beginning to put the pieces together, when I got a call from a huge, well-known firm offering me a very senior position.?

This call meant money (a decent amount of it), security, and influence over the future of a large firm. I try to stay away from clichés, but the phrase “once in a lifetime” applies here. My phone wouldn’t ring again with an opportunity like this. But it also meant walking away from the vision of building my own firm, just as it was starting to feel like a reality.

I thought, absurdly, making a pros and cons list, but what would have been the point? Silver Oak wouldn’t stand a chance against a jury of pure logic. A decision like this couldn’t be made weighing facts and figures (ironic, considering the business I’m in).?

I thought about my family. Was I putting them in financial risk by even considering turning the offer down? I thought about myself, too, my career, and my professional goals. It felt like I was holding a match, and making the wrong move here would be burning everything I’d worked for to the ground.

I stayed paralyzed at this intersection for a long time – and then I thought about Dave Grohl. Because this might as well have been Tom Petty on the other line, serving up an offer I would have been crazy to turn down.?

And I knew then what felt right in my bones.

Because Silver Oak is my Foo Fighters, and I wanted to write my “Everlong” – even though it wouldn’t be easy, even though there were no guarantees we would be successful.

Maybe even more importantly, I wanted to create a space that offered the resources and support necessary for other independent financial professionals to build the firms they’ve always dreamed of, where they can step into the lead singer role instead of always playing backup for someone else’s vision.

I don’t ever wonder if I made the right decision. I see it every day, in the team we’ve built at Silver Oak, in the independent financial professionals we support and in the clients we have the privilege of working with.