Reflecting back, looking forward

Reflecting back, looking forward

It has been three months since I returned from Nepal, having climbed the beautiful mountain Himlung Himal and looked out, through a lot of tears, at our stunning world from 7,100m.

The first month after my return was tough. Physically and emotionally, I had given everything to reach the summit. I rushed back into work which helped me hugely but when I allowed myself to stop and reflect, I found myself asking questions that were difficult to answer. What had I learnt from the trip? Was I being selfish pursuing this passion? What was my broader purpose?

As time has passed, my emotions have returned to some sort of normality but the questions remain, from me and from those who are kind enough to be interested in my passion.

So, what did I learn that I will take with me on future adventures and in my life?

Hard work will take you so far but a sense of purpose helps you achieve your dreams

I worked incredibly hard to get ready for the expedition. I ran miles to keep aerobically fit, I walked for miles carrying a heavy backpack to try and build strength to help me up the steep climbs, I spent time in the mountains building my confidence in terrain that for me remains incredibly challenging and I had spreadsheets planning for every part of the trip. Even having done all of this, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

There were many moments when I questioned my sanity, when I cried and when I screamed in fear and frustration but at no point did I want to turn back. There was one point on the long summit push, when we’d been climbing ever upwards for over six hours and I was exhausted and the summit still seemed a long way up in the sky. I knew I was operating at the very edge of my capabilities. The amazing team I was with made me stop and gave me some food and water. I asked how much longer they thought we’d be to get to the summit. They said 45 minutes and I doubted this as it looked so much further (they were almost spot on!). They waited for me to make the decision as to whether I wanted to continue or to turn back. I was very scared of the route down but I knew I needed to carry on. I had so many people willing me upwards, so many who had kindly sponsored me for a charity that is close to my heart and I didn’t want to let anyone down.

That sense of purpose was incredibly powerful and without it, I may have turned back. Knowing why we do things in life is so important and I think we shouldn’t shy away from voicing our purpose. It helps others understand us and so support us to achieve our dreams.

Do the best you can until you know better. And then when you know better, do better

At a practical level, I learnt two key things on this trip. Firstly, whilst my aerobic fitness is fairly strong, from the running I do, and my mental strength can take me a long way, I need to be physically stronger in the mountains. It is hard to describe how challenging I find it to walk relentlessly up (to me) very steep slopes for hours on end in significantly below freezing temperatures. To do so with any degree of comfort, I need to be stronger. Importantly, to be able to come back down the mountain without falling over, squealing and crying with frustration at my inability to walk confidently on steep terrain, I need to be stronger.

Secondly, I need to be able to eat more! Now at sea level, this really isn’t a problem for me! At altitude, I find this very difficult. My appetite simply disappears. This is a real problem when I’m burning a lot of calories to survive, and hopefully thrive, at the higher altitudes. On the days when I could eat, my confidence in the tough conditions was also much higher - something I’d never realised but my guide noticed straight away.

I’ve started training with a specialist to help build my strength. It’s like entering a completely new world and, whilst I sometimes feel self conscious in the gym, surrounded by experts, I know it will help me be better in the mountains. How I increase my ability to eat at altitude, I’m not yet sure!

Every morning, you have a choice. Continue to dream or make those dreams come true

The feeling of being at the edge of, or sometimes beyond, my comfort zone is one I cherish. I have always loved learning. I have always wanted to push myself. I’ve never been satisfied with what I’ve achieved. I used to think I wasn’t fulfilled but I now know that I am incredibly fulfilled, and feel very lucky to be so, but that isn’t the same as being satisfied. I know I can, and want to push myself to, do more - try and be a better wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, do more to make a difference through my work and achieve more in the passions I have.

I also feel that life is so, so short and I want to make the most of every day I have in our beautiful world. I want some of those days to be in the high mountains, where the beauty is indescribable, where the sunrises and sunsets and everything in between have such clarity and where I understand just what is important to me.

So I will continue to dream and work hard to make those dreams come true.

Take care of and cherish those who you love

One of the things I hadn’t appreciated was just how worried my wonderful husband and parents were when I was away. The tragedy on my last expedition has significantly impacted me but, perhaps selfishly, I hadn’t reflected on how much it had impacted them. I had focused on doing all that I could to be prepared for, and safe on, this trip and so, whilst I went knowing there will always be danger in this type of environment, I felt I was in good hands and was prepared.

Once I’d left, and particularly when I was out of regular communication, I obviously knew I was well, safe and enjoying myself but for my husband and parents, they had to watch a little dot on a tracker and try and understand how I was doing, and feeling, through short messages. I’m not sure how I can make it easier for them but I have learnt that I need to focus on their wellbeing as well as my own. And that is true every day, not just the ones in the mountains.

Surround yourself with people who lift you higher

I’m not someone with a huge group of friends, instead I have a small group of very close friends who I trust implicitly. As an introvert, I can find large groups of people overwhelming and, whilst I’ve learnt to cope with this at work, it takes a lot of energy.

In the mountains, I therefore love the peace and the solitude. I’ve learnt, however, that I need a team around me. I’m not a mountaineer and could never live my passion without expert support. I need people who will coach me, challenge me, believe in me and support me. The team for this expedition was large, and without them I wouldn’t have reached the summit, or come anywhere close.

At the core was my husband who supports me relentlessly. He ran and walked miles with me in training, didn’t moan (too much!) as many kit parcels arrived at our house, kept everyone informed of my progress whilst I was away and, most importantly, gave me the confidence, support and love that I needed. My family and friends were all amazing, supporting me with their kindness and making me believe that this was possible. My colleagues covered for me without any questions and their interest and care in what I was doing and on my return was overwhelming.

And, the team with me on the mountain, my amazing guide and Sherpa team, were simply wonderful. Words can’t express how much they supported me. I know I wouldn’t have reached the summit or had such an incredible experience without them.

Knowing what allows you to be at your best and putting that around you, whether it’s on an adventure or in our day to day lives, is so important.

You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream

I’ve often thought of, and talked about, having two ‘different lives’ - one being my ‘normal life’, the life at sea level, which includes a career I love, a husband I love far more and wonderful family and friends; and one being my life in the mountains where for small pockets of time, I travel without my husband, family and friends into a world of remote beauty, simplicity, hardship, fear and a joy that is hard to explain. This trip, though, has shown me that these aren’t two different lives, two different versions of ‘me’ - they are just two parts of the life I feel immensely privileged to live.

Despite the fear of the terrain, cold conditions and the loneliness I felt at points, I knew as soon as I boarded my flight home that I wanted to go back and had plans in place for an autumn 2025 expedition within a couple of weeks of being back in the UK.

I turn 50 this year and part of me wonders if I’ve left it too late for the really big mountains but I love the quote above and so have set my goal on going even higher in the mountains. I am working hard to get myself ready to try and summit an 8,000m peak next year. At the moment, it feels like a huge challenge and one that is almost impossible but I’m taking it step by step and looking to the skies and dreaming.

Thank you to everyone for all of your support, which has been truly wonderful.


Jemima Bird

Senior Board Director & Founder of Hello Finch | Transforming Brands Through Strategic Innovation

8 个月

The mountains are part of you for sure - I have no doubt you'll summit 8,000m. You're such a wonderful inspiration x

Rob Delicata

Director, Technology Advisory

9 个月

Love this, Sarah! Beautifully said, and what amazing photos.

Wow Sarah, I'm still in awe of your adventure and achievement. Thank you for sharing those important reflections.

Ruth O'Sullivan

Director, Audit Risk & Quality

9 个月

"Do the best you can until you know better. And then when you know better, do better." I love that Sarah. A real mantra for life.

Hemione Hudson

Chair and CEO, PwC China

9 个月

Three months has gone quickly! Great reflections that will inspire us all to do more and be better!

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