Reflecting as an ally

Hey brother!

Scott here. Let's talk about something real - those holiday blues that creep in while Mariah Carey's telling us it's the "most wonderful time of the year."

You know what I mean. When everyone's posting their highlight reels, but you're stuck replaying your blooper reel.

Been there. Done that. Got the scars to prove it.

Remember when I told you about ending up in the ER with sky-high blood pressure right before Christmas 2017? Talk about holiday blues. There I was, supposed to be feeling jolly, but instead questioning everything - my career choices, my path forward, even whether I'd be around to see my kids grow up.

But here's what I've learned about reflection - it's not about beating yourself up or sugar-coating things. It's about being your own ally.

Think of it like watching game tape:

• A critic just looks for mistakes
• A coach looks for learning opportunities
• An ally looks for wisdom to move forward

Let's break this down:

The Critic Says: "You failed at the martial arts business."

The Coach Says: "Let's analyze what worked and what didn't."

The Ally Says: "That experience taught you exactly what you needed to know to help others now."

See the difference?

Here's how to be your own ally during reflection:

Start with Gratitude

• What did each challenge teach you?
• Who showed up for you when it mattered?
• How are you stronger now?

Find the Freedom

• What beliefs did you let go of?
• What new paths opened up?
• Where did "failure" actually set you free?

Look for Patterns

• What keeps showing up in your story?
• Where do you consistently find joy?
• What lessons keep repeating?

Real example: When I reflect on my journey, I could focus on:

• The corporate career I "lost"
• The business venture that didn't work out
• The relationships that didn't last

OR, I can focus on how each of these led me exactly where I needed to be:

• Corporate exit → Showed me what really matters
• Business challenges → Taught me authentic alignment
• Relationship shifts → Led to deeper, truer connections

Your Turn:

This holiday season, try this reflection exercise:

The Gratitude List:

• 3 "failures" that taught you something valuable
• 3 people who helped you grow
• 3 challenges that made you stronger

The Freedom Check:

• What old stories can you release?
• What expectations no longer serve you?
• What new possibilities excite you?

The Ally Approach:

• How would you advise your best friend about your year?
• What would you tell your kids about handling setbacks?
• What would future you thank present you for learning?

Remember: Those holiday blues? They're just your inner critic hogging the mic. Time to let your inner ally speak up.

Your Move This Week:

1. Pick one "failure" from 2024
2. Write down three ways it served your growth
3. Share your insight with someone who needs to hear it

Because here's the truth - every "blue" moment is just waiting to be reframed into a breakthrough moment.

Keep soaring,

Scott

P.S. Fighting the holiday blues? Drop me a line. Sometimes the best gift we can give ourselves is remembering we're not in this alone.