Reflecting on 2020: Top 10 Lessons Learned

...Remember this time last year, when we were all blissfully unaware of the fact that our worlds would be completely turned upside down. Indeed, 2020 might have been the hardest year in global history, but we made it, ya'll! Throughout this year, I've come to understand there is nothing more resilient than the human spirit and stripping away the “noise” of our everyday lives has revealed what is really important. Like many of you, there were many highs, lows, and expedited learning lessons of 2020, and I'm taking this time at the end of the year to reflect and share some tasty homemade lemonade made out of the bitter lemons of 2020 in the form of 10 learning lessons. I hope you enjoy!

1.   Destruction is the Prerequisite for Creative Activity. The moral arc of our life bends towards meaning - especially if we bend it that way with all our might, and very often it is a crisis situation that actually improves us as human beings. This year I read, "The Choice" written by my hero, Dr. Edith Egar, a 93-year-old holocaust victim that I had the privilege of seeing speak, high kick, and dance on stage at a Generation W conference (back when in-person conferences were a thing.) Despite the horrific events Dr. Edith experienced during the holocaust, her perspective speaks to Richard Farson's calamity theory of growth: “Paradoxically, while terrible incidents can sometimes ruin people, they are usually growth experiences. Calamities often make people take a major reassessment of their life situation and change it in ways that reflect a deeper understanding of our own capabilities, values and goals.” The way I see it, 2020 was the brutal uphill climb that is going to make us appreciate the thrill of the downhill even more. If we are ONLY smiling, our faces will hurt….CONTRAST IS THE SPECIAL SAUCE OF LIFE.

2.   We are not always responsible for what happens to us, but we are how we respond to it. We can’t choose to vanish the dark, but we can choose to kindle the light. This year, I had a ‘struck by lightning moment’ where I accidentally left my garage open and was attacked in the middle of the night. Fighting for my life, I was lucky to have the strength to fight and neighbors who called for help. Although, this was the scariest incident of my life, I refuse to be anyone’s victim, and I refuse to live my life in fear. I believe that in the worst of times, you see the best in people, and I am so beyond blessed to be surrounded by such incredible support by my colleagues, friends, family, and neighbors. I experienced one act of cruelty and from that thousands of acts of kindness and connection...which leads me to my next lesson...

3.   Adopt the campsite Rule: As a nature lover, my approach to life is what I call “The Campsite Rule”… find a way to notice and respond to each person you come into contact with in a genuine and sincere way …and leave them in better condition than you found them... There is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others. Kind words are worth much and cost little, and you can ALWAYS be kinder.

4.   Reality is Largely Negotiable. If you stress test the boundaries and experiment with the “impossibles” you’ll quickly discover that most limitations are a fragile collection of reinforced rules you can choose to break at any time. The world is a construct. We are a collection of stories. Stories we tell. Stories we tell ourselves and equally the stories we choose to ignore. The mind is our greatest tool that can create the life we want, but in its duality can equally be our torturer. I’ve learned that you don’t become what you want, you become what you believe, and it doesn’t serve you to give credence to your negative thoughts. Don’t believe you are free chips and salsa. You’re Guac baby! GUAC!

5.   You can change the world...or play with your phone - you can’t do both. In the age of distraction, focus is the currency. I watched “The Social Dilemma” and read “How to Break Up with Your Phone,” and it honestly scared me. We have invented a device that has rewired our minds, created a society of people who are perpetually distracted, isolated, and overtired. Our memories have weakened, our capacity for focus and deep thought has been damaged. Our empathy has been reduced and self-absorption has been encouraged. The lines of social etiquette have completely been redrawn. We are in the wild west of a technological revolution, and it is up to us to act intentionally both individually and collectively to make our attention our own again and reclaim ownership of the very experience of living. YOUR LIFE is what you pay attention to...and if you're like me and don't want your life to be filled with doomscrolling or FOMO sprays, here is a bonus nugget for you: Go to to your local library website, get a library card online, download the libby app... and voila - just like that - tax dollars instantly used on free books, audiobooks, and knowledge for your brain. Highlights and everything! You're welcome.

6.   “Be SO outstanding that there is no debate.” Growing up in a no excuses-no complaining household. I used to get mad and make a fuss to my parents when my friends would get money for good grades. They would tell me the world is unfair, and good grades were not rewarded, they were expected... Although I was upset at them at the time, I now realize that when there is an intrinsic expectation of excellence, this translates into all aspects of life. To be more, you must do more: While others procrastinate, muster the courage to begin. While others waste time, use your time to learn. While others do what is good enough, do what is exceptional. While others work for money, work to serve. While others do what is easy, do what is right. While others only chase success, focus on becoming significant and making a real difference. Focus less on the impression you’re making on others and more on the impression you’re making on yourself. The latter serves the former, and is the key to building confidence. A good friend, Colton Storla, told me this year that you build confidence by keeping your promises. “Those that have confidence do this subconsciously. If you don’t fall into this group, fear not. Confidence is built over time. Start with small promises and do what you tell yourself you’ll do, no exceptions. Work your way bigger and bigger. Keep these little promises long enough and you’ll find that your confidence has grown too.”

7.   Don’t Be Afraid to Stand Out From the Crowd…You Just Might Like the Result. Comparing yourself to others is an act of violence to yourself, and I believe life's biggest heartbreak is being untrue to yourself. From the moment I could dress myself, I wore my 'my size barbie' princess dress to school. Although in junior high, I was made fun of for the ridiculous outfits I'd wear to school, I've learned to appreciate my quirks. I AM weird, and I ENCOURAGE the weird in others. Diversity is what makes life beautiful and interesting. No one can be you the way you can be you. You are your own competitive advantage, AND you are a masterpiece in God’s eyes.

8. To Be Alive is to Be in a Perpetual State of Revolution… And whether we like it or not, pain is the fuel of revolution. Although we heard the word unprecedented thousands of times this year, this is not unprecedented times to the business world. We’re all well familiar with changing technologies or cultural conditions that completely change business models. Albeit, there was never one that was as sudden or jarring as 2020, but I believe the businesses that are going to be successful are defined by purpose, not product. Legends are created when bold action is taken and power is asserted in emphatic and creative ways. The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways. Strong people bring about strong change.

9. We make a living by what we GET, but we make a life by what we GIVE." –Winston Churchill After reading, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***,” I’ve adopted the mindset that happiness comes from solving problems. All you can hope for is a life full of good problems and that you have the privilege of working hard at work worth doing.

10. DIE EVERY DAY. I'm not sure why, but I have always been fascinated by death. Perhaps spiritually, we all are. In listening to a podcast on Wim Hoff, I had an ‘a-ha moment’ understanding my dependency on exercise in the morning...or at times what feels like "dying every day." In adversity, whether it is polar plunging, mountain biking, or near death experiences, you gain such an appreciation for simply breathing and being alive comfortably. If we are comfortable every second of every day, which we certainly have the means to be, we lose the space and appreciation to make your mind feel like you're thriving. Life is an honor. Make sure to have unequivocal love for that.

I think for all of us, there was a long laundry list of learning lessons, but I'll stop here. As I think of the next 9 years of this decade, I am hopeful as I know hope and fear cannot occupy the same space. Collectively, I hope we use this time to reflect on the world we want to see for our children and grandchildren...or for me my nephew, Holden.

Let us move forward with a little more compassion for each other, more slow down time, more long term strategic planning & sustainability, more fearless leaders of all ages and diversities, and more appreciation for the challenge and adventure. Let's get out of our heads and get energized by driving change and being a part of significant projects that move the dial. Be the architect of your own agenda...and go CRUSH this year! The world NEEDS YOU!

Xoxo,

Jillian