Reflecting on 20 Years of Parenthood: Lessons, Growth, and Love

This month, on November 1st, marked a significant milestone for me: 20 years - two whole decades - of being a parent. As I celebrate my son’s 20th birthday, I find myself reflecting on the journey we’ve shared, full of growth, healing, learning, and love.

In many ways, it feels like these years have flown by. But, to be honest, there were also many seasons spent “in the trenches,” navigating the complexities of life - not only as a mother but also as a person coming into my own. Parenting has been as much about my own growth as it has been about guiding my son, and today, I’d like to share some of the insights these years have brought me.

Growing Up Together

Becoming a parent at 21 meant that my son and I grew up together. Raising him through his younger years was about more than just caretaking - it was a journey we walked side by side, helping each other find our footing in a world that often felt vast and uncertain.

Parenting brings a level of self-discovery that is hard to describe. When you’re responsible for guiding someone else, you often end up guiding yourself as well. Together, we found our voices, our truths, and our identities, and through it all, we learned to love each other unconditionally. Watching him grow while realising my own potential has been at the heart of this experience.

Healing Trauma with Compassion

Parenting with kindness becomes profoundly challenging - and deeply meaningful - when it involves healing from trauma and abuse. Finding balance in my journey meant staying compassionate with myself while also channelling that compassion into my relationship with my son. It was not always easy; sometimes, my own hurts seeped into our connection, and I’ve had to confront that reality and own it.

Yet, the journey of healing has shown me that we can transform pain into resilience, mistakes into lessons, and accountability into integrity. As I continue to heal, I am learning that “healed people can heal people,” and I strive to model resilience, empathy, and strength for both myself and my son.

Breaking Generational Cycles

When I became a mother, I felt an urgent responsibility to break away from old patterns. Raising my son meant creating space for a different kind of relationship - one based on kindness, respect, and integrity. Unlearning and relearning became my mission, a way to pave the path for a new legacy, not only for him but also for his younger brother.

It’s a privilege to be able to shape this legacy, crafting a foundation built on values that will carry forward for generations.

Love and Joy in Watching Him Grow

There is truly no greater reward than watching someone you love discover who they are and find their own way in the world. As my son has grown into his own man and moved far from home, I continue to witness him embody and transform the love and values we have shared over the years. Watching him succeed, struggle, and ultimately shine has been a source of joy I struggle to put into words.

With many more chapters still ahead of us, I look forward to every moment. Time moves fast, but by pausing to reflect like this, I hope to capture even just a little of the wonder of watching him grow.

A Journey of Highs and Lows

These two decades have been filled with all the highs and lows of life. If this reflection resonates with you, or if you have your own story to tell about a relationship that has shaped you, I’d love to hear it. And perhaps, today, reach out to someone who means the world to you and tell them you love them.

Here’s to the journey, and to all those we share it with.