Referral Statements that Build Relationships

It seems like it's hard for us to put into words who we help or serve. Maybe it's because "branding" seems like such a fancy or serious thing. Maybe it's because we don't want to sound like we're "pitching people." But I've noticed something as I've connected with professionals in a huge mix of industries: when I offer to refer to people, they're grateful. My friends love hearing the question when I ask it at networking round tables. But when I ask "who should I send your way?" the answers I get are sometimes vague or hesitant.

This is unfortunate, because what I'm really looking for is a referral statement: I want to form a picture in my mind of who your tribe is, so I can help people looking for you to find their fit with you. It's the kind of helpful connection that we all need to make in this noisy world.

Whether you're a human looking for meaningful friendships, or a philanthropist trying to make a difference, or a business person trying to serve people; defining your referral statement can deepen and strengthen your community in the days and years to come.

So I talked to my friend who has helped a lot of business people find their market focus, and asked her for some ideas to help my networking community have clearer, more confident answers to "who should I send your way."

Never Say "I can help anybody."

First she started off by mentioning the answer people give most often (and which you should never say when people ask who your ideal client is!) I've been guilty of this myself, so I want to share it with you:

"I can help anybody."

This may be true. I don't doubt that it is. But it does nothing to help people remember to refer people to you. It doesn't make you a "better fit" for some people. It doesn't help your friends and colleagues break the tie between similar contacts to have a good reason to say "you might like Alex best for this because ____."

So what do you say when people ask?

3 Questions to Ask Yourself to Find a Referral Statement

1. What fascinates me?
2. What problems have I overcome?
3. What pace do I work at?

What Fascinates Me?

When I ask the first question, it gives me something to talk about in my referral statement that is exciting and awe-driven. This is a way to talk about the problems you solve with positive energy. "I'm fascinated by the way each person's financial goals are unique to their season of life. I love helping people transition their financial plan to meet the time they're in." or "I'm fascinated by technology, so I like taking on clients who are innovating or trying to expand their business. I can almost always find a new piece of technology to help them overcome their growth barriers."

What Problems Have I Overcome?

Sometimes the problems we have overcome have to do with the work itself. But sometimes they're personal. Take stock of the mountains you've conquered, and think about incorporating some of that victory into your referral statement. "Kate was in banking during the last recession, so she knows how to handle uncertain financial landscape," or "Walt changed careers after a major health crisis, so he knows what it's like to reinvent himself." Whether it's navigating a divorce, an interstate move, or an illness, sometimes the problems create points of trust and confidence for the future.

What Pace Do I Work At?

This one surprised me a little, since "how fast we move" didn't seem like a competitive advantage. Is faster always better? In busy seasons it can seem like life is a race. But stop and think about it for a second: are you someone who is constantly taking in new information and pivoting quickly? Or are you someone who is methodical, taking your time? Do you excel at getting a quick answer, or being tenacious to hang in until you can get things "just right?" Being honest and attentive to the pace you move at gives clues to who you'd be amazing to work with.

Think of the last elevator pitch you made. Did it have "fascination" energy? Or did you feel like you were selling something? Did it take your victories and use them to clarify your strengths? Did it give a clue to who would be most excited and synergistic with your energy?

Give it a try and let me know how it feels!

Well, I hope you liked that! Thanks to my friend for her ideas, and to you for reading! If you're in my network, DM me to tell me your Referral Statement or connect with me on my website!

I'd love to know who to send your way!