References Matter

Every job, whether you love it or hate it, is a place to build relationships with people who could one day be great references.  A reference is someone who will tell a prospective manager at a new company or even the company you work for, about your strengths and weaknesses, your work style and whether you’d fit in the culture of the team/company you are trying to join. The best way to make sure your references say something nice about you is to be a rock star on the job in both hard and soft skills. The more enthusiastic the reference, the better chance at securing a dream job.

Tip # 14: Choose references wisely and prepare them to sell you.

As a manager, I always found it shocking when candidates did not tell their references that they were applying for a new role. I would call references and they would ask how the candidate was doing because they had not heard from the candidate in a long time or the reference would ask what job the candidate was applying for and what company. It is critical to pick the right references and prepare those references to be your biggest advocates.

Step 1: Choosing the right references.  The first step is to find at least three people who are willing to give you a positive reference. Then ask each person to be an enthusiastic reference. It’s one thing to say great things about you, it’s another to say great things with great enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is very important because recruiters and hiring managers will pick up on a tentative or hesitant reference. 

I once had former employee reach out and asks me to be a reference. This employee was clearly was not a rock star on my team and left shortly before being fired. There was no way I could give a positive and enthusiastic reference and I knew this employee had worked at a few other roles since working for me.   I simply said, “I don’t think I can provide you the high-level enthusiastic reference you are looking for to achieve your career goals since you haven’t worked for me in a few years.” 

But some people think it's easier to say, "Sure," than just saying "no" in a nice way. Never assume someone will give you a positive reference, just because you asked them to. If you approach someone and ask if he/she is comfortable giving you an enthusiastic reference, listen to the person’s response.  Any hesitation means the person is not comfortable even if he/she doesn’t say so out loud and you should not provide that person’s contact information to a prospective employer.

A. Former/Current Manager: This person is the ideal reference because this reference can tell a prospective employer how you brought value to the team, what projects you worked on, how you built relationships, how you worked cross-functionally and how you succeeded in the role. Most people don’t want to use a current manager in case the role doesn’t work out. That’s normal.  But every candidate should try to have a former manager who is willing to be an enthusiastic reference.

B. Colleague/Co-worker: If you did not get along with your manager, you were terminated from a role for performance, or you don’t feel your manager would be highly enthusiastic in providing a reference, then do not use your manager and find someone else within the company to use as a reference. Former or current colleagues can be exceptional references, especially if they worked directly with the candidate on a complex cross-functional project.

C. Networking Colleagues/College Professors: References who have not worked with you or know your work are character witnesses. They can talk about who you are as a person such as “Everyone loves Candidate A” or “Candidate B is a hard worker.” But most recruiters and hiring managers will ask how the reference knows the candidate, so candidates will want to choose colleagues with whom they worked closely. Further, college students sometimes use professors as references. College professors can talk about you being a top performer in class, but cannot usually provide real world experience information unless you were a research assistant or worked for the professor. Unfortunately, these references are not as effective as the former manager or colleague who has worked with you and can talk about how you were successful in your role.

D. Family and friends: No. Don’t use them as a reference even if you worked for a family business. Find someone else in that business to be a reference or provide a reference from another job. The last thing you would want is a recruiter asking, “How do you know candidate?” and the answer is “Oh, that’s my cousin!”

E. Customers/Clients: If you work in a customer service type role and you have a recurring customer, or you work in sales and have clients, sure, you can consider them as references, especially if they are commenting on your ability to solve problems and build relationships.

Step 2: Preparing references

If you have not received an offer yet and you have been asked for references, then you do not have the job yet. There is a good chance you are one of two finalists. Your references can determine whether you get the job. If you have received an offer already, it could be contingent on your references and background check. That’s why it’s critical that the candidate prepares his/her references with the following information:

A. What is the job the candidate is interviewing for? (And provide the job description to the reference)

B. What information was the candidate not able to/forgot to explain in the interview process that would be helpful to the hiring manager? (e.g. candidate is always available, highly dedicated, and reliable.)

C. What skill set is critical for the role and how do candidate’s skills relate directly to the role or what are candidate’s applicable transferable skills?

D. What makes the candidate a great candidate for the role?

E. What makes the candidate unique?

F. What is a weakness that the candidate has already worked hard to overcome (e.g. Candidate at first had trouble handing off projects as the company scaled, but toward the end, (s)he was very successful at adapting to change quickly).

G. If you were terminated from a role for performance and you have given an alternate perspective to explain your departure, make sure your reference knows the alternate perspective.

H. Explain to the reference that enthusiasm counts.

The candidate should discuss the above with the reference and/or the candidate should send bullet points for the reference to review prior to giving the reference’s contact information to a prospective employer.

Some employers no longer ask for references because they know candidates will provide references who will only say great things about the candidate or the candidate will provide references who have scripted answers. Instead, some employers will seek out “backdoor” references, meaning someone who has worked with the candidate but is not on a candidate’s “reference list.” Those types of references may be more genuine in their characterization of a candidate or may be less genuine if a backdoor reference had a direct conflict with a candidate.

When backdoor references are negative, the first question I ask the reference is, “How long ago did the two work together?” And then I will follow up with, “Does anyone else feel the same way?” If the reference worked with the candidate more than five years ago, I am much less willing to rely heavily on the negative information.  Why?  People can change.

More than 20 years ago, when I was a TV news reporter I lost two potential jobs because a former boss gave a negative backdoor reference. How did I know?  One of the recruiters told me she had received information from a former boss that wasn't glowing.  I figured out a former manager previously worked with the hiring manager for the new roles. I knew I couldn’t salvage those jobs. That was my first lesson about relationships and that it doesn’t matter if you have great references, any negative behavior will linger in the minds of others. It also taught me that behavior in my 20s was going to haunt me if I didn’t do something.

I was immature back then and definitely not smart about how to “manage up.” I made a ton of mistakes. But I was becoming self-aware and was working on myself. The bad news was, no one knew I had grown and changed since my first few jobs. I decided to write a letter (no email back then) to that former boss explaining how I had matured from past experiences, how I would have handled events differently, and how I would hate to be judged in the future for actions in my early 20s. I never heard back but I also never had a problem securing a job again.   

Step 3: Ensure Positive References. The best way to ensure everyone you work with has something positive to say about you is to build relationships. Find your champions in every job who know your value.  If you notice relationships suffering because you may have offended someone or didn’t show your best side, consider a mea culpa, even if you still believe the other person is wrong. Would you rather be content or contentious? Would you rather be right or employed in your dream job? You can’t stop someone from saying something bad about you, but you can grow from every experience and show your growth in the next opportunity.