Reducing Trauma In the Life Of Your Child During the Pandemic
As a "Trauma-Care Instructor,"I provide insights and strategies to school district personnel across the country on how to establish and provide safe-havens for their students. During this time of crisis and panic I thought I would share a few tips and guidelines for reducing the levels of stress and trauma that can easily accompany times such as these.
Understand, Prepare, Act
The foundation of your preparation in terms of creating a safe-haven for your child must be rooted in understanding. Try to shift your focus from "You" focused to "Child" focused. As adults we stand a better chance of processing tangibles and intangibles associated with the crisis, whereas children primarily react to internal stimuli and shifts in behavioral patterns.
Save yourself some pain and "Prepare" for fallout. Make sure you have an ample supply of the things that serve to occupy the attention and needs of your child. Prepare meal packages that are available in the refrigerator that are easy to access and satisfy the immediate urges of your child. His/her ability to reach and obtain favorites can send the message of comfort and for the moment curtail anxiety.
Remain fluid. Act early and often. Again, shifting from "You" focused to "Child" focused enables you to anticipate "Energy-Shifts," (an energy shift occurs when the instinctual habit-driven activities are no longer available, yet the child is triggered to act as if they are present). Purposely and intentionally schedule things on the hour that anticipate such shifts and by doing so you increase your ability to produce positive outcomes (and at the same time reduce your own stress). Engaging your child before or during the shift enables you to constantly measure the level of activity necessary to relieve any building anxiety brought about due to lack of movement.
Keep in mind, while it may seem a lot to ask of yourself in terms of attending to your child (while you have needs to fulfill, as well), you might be wise to consider the alternative. A peaceful environment during times of crisis afford enormous benefit to you in the long run.
What's Your Plan? (Short-Mid-Long Term)
Everything must be mobilized per your household plan. Although your children do not need to participate with constructing the plan it is possible for them to experience your inner-turbulence if you merely wing-it through this pandemic.
Your plan should consist of a few variables;
- Food and necessities (making sure you have stocked up on ample amounts of food will eliminate the anxiety and fear that accompanies the possibility of running out of something should the Pandemic last longer than anticipated).
- Daily Normalcy (plan activities that send the message that everything is under control within your circle of influence). Plan a routine that incorporates a schedule even if it is doing things around the house. Don't forget to add some fun (plenty of it, for the kids).
- Find Your Own Space To Consume The News (certainly, you need to remain informed but spare the kids the overkill). It is easy to believe kids do not understand what is being said on the news but their sensitive antennas pick up vibrations of panic and fear. Spare them the drama but don't completely keep them in the dark about what is transpiring in the world.
- Keep Them Connected To Their Schooling (prioritize time for them to complete their homework). Working on school assignments is associated with a feeling of normalcy for kids this time of year. Create a space and time for them to work on each subject for-which they are responsible.
- Create A Network Of Safe Friends & Family (if possible, enter into an agreement with people you trust that specifically spells out safety tactics that significantly reduce you and your children's risk of exposure). Trust is a key factor here. If you can identify such a group of individuals, feel free to incorporate them into your plan. Being able to expand your trusted circle of influence enables you to add additional layers of normalcy per being able to engage with others outside your immediate boundaries.
- Prepare For Worse-Case Scenario (what happens if someone does get the virus)? Don't wait, research now. Do you know who to call and where to go for help? The more you know the calmer you will appear to the children if the worst befalls you.
- Speak of A Positive Future Event "We are definitely going to Disneyland when all this clears!" Try your best to send the message that things will return to normal soon. Of course, children will call you on the promise but them calling you on it is far better than the alternative which can be heightened worry and depression.
Finally, carefully monitor your own personal fear levels. It is very easy for you to trigger fear and anxiety in your children due to your uncontrolled levels of fear. Be aware of phone conversations with other adults held within earshot of your children. They are masters at detecting how you feel about things.
The art here is to acknowledge things have changed and that we are experiencing a shift in normalcy but at the same time build on the fact that there are things that can be done (and are being done by you) that significantly reduces the possibility of them being negatively impacted by this temporary health challenge.
In the end things will return to normal and as with Ebola and the other threats we have encountered, the Human Race will survive. In the interim, increase your possibility of successfully navigating this unpredictable terrain by adhering to a strict guideline of social-distancing and avoiding trouble areas. Remember the advice of the airlines and "Put your mask on first," (meaning, make sure you remain as calm as possible through this pandemic). By doing so, you will emit an air of certainty and increase your possibilities of maintaining a peaceful household.
Above all, KNOW that ... this too shall pass.
More about Wes Hall, can be found at: www.weshall217.com