Tension is in our DNA. It probably started as a warning system for our cave- dwelling ancestors. They had to be ready to run or defend themselves if something was endangering their tribe. We still have those instincts, and sometimes they can be a lot stronger than they need to be.
The fight-or-flee system obviously helped us survive as a species, but times have changed, and we no longer need to be on edge every second of every day. If you are on edge all the time, it will make life less enjoyable and not help you emotionally or physically. If something is going on in your life that is causing stress, here are some things you can do to lower your tension level and help you cope.
- If you are having a difficult discussion and tension starts to climb, take a break. Give yourself an hour to calm down so you can think clearly, and when you return to the conversation, keep the volume and emotions in check. If you still find that you can’t let go of the negative feelings, allow yourself to sleep on it and try again in the morning. Doing this can give you a fresh perspective.
- Don’t let your upsets fester. If you are feeling put upon, and like you just can’t take anymore, tell someone. If no one is available to talk to, write down your feelings. It’s a great way to release bad ones and gain a fresh perspective. Sometimes an even better alternative is to face the upsetting person or problem head-on. The sooner you deal with it, the less time you will spend feeling uncomfortable.
- Learn not to wear yourself out. When you are tired, it makes doing even the simplest things a bit harder, and you also get cranky. It’s wise to take a break when you are having a difficult time dealing with everything you have on your plate. Making a list of your tasks for the day can be helpful, and if you don’t accomplish everything, you can take care of it the following day. Putting “take a break” on your list is also a good idea. There will be enough time to get it all done. Don’t waste your time feeling pressured.
- Avoid rumination. Negative thoughts can take over your life if you let them. If you find yourself sitting (or lying) down consumed by troubling thoughts, get up and change your physical space. Just going outside and taking three deep breaths can help. Then you should find one constructive thing to do around the house or at your desk and do it.
- Rely on your friends, but don’t overburden them. Talking to someone who believes in you can help, but when you relieve your own tension by regularly venting to a good buddy, it can be too much for them. Just remember that your friends have lives, too.
If you’re feeling stressed out, use these tips. Things will change, as they always do. Trust that you are a good person, and goodness will return to your life.
