???? Rediscovering Your Mojo: Aligning Needs and Values ????

Have you ever felt "stuck," "stalled out," or just lacking your usual "mojo"? You're not alone. Many leaders come to me with these feelings, often wondering if there's an underlying issue causing their dissatisfaction. Sometimes, they even seek medical or mental health diagnoses to explain their general 'blahs.'??

The Predictable Path ??

Think about the journey many of us take. In our 20s, we chase success with prestigious schools, high grades, and impressive resumes. Our 30s are all about hitting life’s milestones: finding a spouse, buying a home, getting promotions, having kids, and enjoying luxury items. ??

But then, we reach a point where those tangible results don't seem to bring the same fulfillment. We start questioning our impact and wondering why we feel unfulfilled despite having achieved so much. This often leads to guilt and shame, especially when we realize many others would envy our position. ??

The Breakthrough: Needs vs. Values ??

It's crucial to remember that we are human BEINGS, not just human DOERS. Reflecting on our life's highs and lows can help us identify our core values, but sometimes that’s not enough. Core values often feel incomplete because our actions don’t always align with what we say we value the most. For example, you might value family but find yourself sacrificing family time for career ambitions. ??

Introducing the concept of "core needs" versus "core values" made a huge impact for my clients. Needs cater to our physical selves, while values serve our spiritual selves. Understanding this can help explain why we sometimes feel so out of sync. ??

Understanding Our Core Needs ??

Our core needs are shaped early in life, revolving around belonging and love within social structures. We develop personas—like being overly agreeable or strategic—to ensure our acceptance and safety. These personas fulfill basic needs and form our identity, reinforced by societal recognition. ??

Finding Purpose and Aligning Values ?

Differentiating needs from values also clarifies the human pursuit of purpose. Purpose drives us toward something greater, giving us a sense of belonging to something meaningful. Values aligned with our purpose help us evaluate our actions. Without a clear purpose, values can feel aspirational but lack direction. This is why vague purposes like "helping people" can leave us feeling unfulfilled. ??

The Safety vs. Purpose Conflict ??

There’s a natural tension between our need for safety and our desire for purpose. Our nervous system craves safety, while our existential self seeks a higher calling. This conflict often leaves us feeling stuck, fearing the loss of what we've achieved and feeling drained. ??

Aligning Needs with Values ??

Realizing the difference between urgent needs and important values creates shifts and ‘ah ha’ moments. Urgent needs demand immediate attention, while values seem less pressing. This explains why work can sometimes overshadow family for my clients. When we start aligning our needs with our values, we can find greater satisfaction in both life and career. ??

Moving Forward ?

Recognizing the distinction between needs and values is vital. It’s challenging but essential for making decisions that truly align with who we are. If YOU are ready to grow, shift and see new possibilities but aren’t sure where to start, pre-order my new book,?The Adventure Within: Why Successful Professionals Still Feel Stuck and How to Purposefully Rekindle Your Craving for Adventure.?It’s packed with insights and practical steps to help you rediscover joy in life and leadership. ??

Together, let’s lead strong and build better humans. The best is yet to come! ????