Redefining Success: The True Role of a Coach in Empowering, Not Preying

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I am rarely one to publicly call things out.

However, there are some things that hit me so deeply that I am compelled to address them. Not so much to call the other person out, but rather, to speak about what I truly believe and to take a stand for THAT.

A couple of days ago, I received a marketing email from someone whose list I'm on.

I was absolutely stunned at the shaming and toxic language in it. This email promoted a coaching program and told the readers that without coaching or working with a mentor they (the reader) would fail and give up on their goals.

My jaw hit the table in shock.

I had to ask myself "Is this really what they think of their audience? That they are incapable and destined to fail unless they hire this person?"

And on the flip side, why would this coach want to attract clients who would be co-dependent that way? That's got to be setting themselves up for nothing but stress and headaches, especially if the client doesn't get the results.

And then I realized that it's not just this particular marketer, this type of "tough love" toxicity and insulting potential clients can be pervasive in this industry.

And so I wanted to share my thoughts on it.

A person who believes that they will fail and give up without a mentor is hiring one for entirely the wrong reason. They already believe they are destined to fail.

And a "coach" who preys on that, isn't really looking out for their client's best interest, but rather manipulating a persons desperation for their own financial benefit.

Not to mention focusing on a clients potential for failure instead of capability for success, is starting the relationship from a toxic power dynamic

I’ve been at this a LONG time and sat on both sides - as a client and a coach and I know this for sure:

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When you are driven by purpose, faith and desire, you will keep on your path no matter what. It's not your coach's vision. It's yours. Only you can have the drive and desire, and only you can make it happen.

You may at this point be wondering why, as a coach and mentor myself, I would even say such a thing. Isn't that bad for business?

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Because I truly believe that hiring a coach is meant for those who are self-led, and believe that they are winners, even if they don't yet have the results.

Here's the thing, you don't ???????? a coach or mentor to be successful.

However, just like I do, you may absolutely ???????? and benefit from one.

And to me, there’s a huge difference between "failing without one" vs "benefitting from one".

I could probably write many more, and you also could probably add to this as well - but here off the top of my head are some of the ?????????? reasons to hire a coach or mentor:

???????????? ???????????????? ???????? ????????????????????: Just like a CEO benefits from the wisdom of a board, and advisors, having a mentor who has walked the path and created results you aspire to can be invaluable. They bring a wealth of experience to guide you more effectively.

????????-?????????????????? ?????? ???????????? ????????????????????: A coach holds up a mirror to your life and actions, helping you see yourself and your situations more clearly. This heightened self-awareness significantly contributes to personal and professional growth that can accelerate and expand results.

?????????????? ???????????? ???????????? ?????? ????????????????????: A mentor provides support and holds space for you during your growth journey, offering encouragement and stability, and helps keep you focused on your vision, reminding you of your true power

???????????? ?????? ?????????? ??????????????????: Sometimes, you need someone to ask the hard questions – the ones that push you out of your comfort zone. These questions empower you to find the right answers for yourself, leading to deeper insights and more meaningful progress.

?????????????????????? ?????? ???????? ?????????????????? ????????????????: While you can achieve your goals on your own, a coach can help you get there faster and avoid common pitfalls, applying lessons from their own experiences and those of others they've guided.

???????????????????????? ???????????????????? ?????? ??????????????: Every journey is unique. A good coach will provide tailored guidance and strategies that align with your specific goals and circumstances.

???????????????????? ???????? ????????????????: A coach's role isn’t to be emotionally attached to your outcomes but to support and guide you. This detachment allows for unbiased feedback and helps you fully own your journey and decisions.

???????????????????? ?????????????? ????????????????????: Building resilience is key to long-term success. Coaches will help you turn setbacks into stepping stones, empowering you to navigate challenges with confidence.

There are many more, but I'm sure you get the picture.

The point is - you absolutely have the potential to succeed on your own.

Don’t ever buy into the toxic narrative that you are destined to fail without a coach, or that somehow you’re broken

Your drive, vision, and resilience are powerful forces. You are whole and resilient.

However, partnering with a coach can amplify your journey, making the path to success faster, the achievements bigger, and the overall experience more enriching.

There’s something amazing about being in the energy of someone who sees you already achieving the goal.

It's about enhancing what you're already capable of achieving and taking it to the next level.

There are so many great reasons to partner with the right coach at the right time on your journey.

Believing you’re destined to fail, or worse, a coach who believes you’re destined to fail without them, isn’t one of them.

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