Redefining Success

How do you define your own personal success? This is the million dollar question. The sad reality is, many people live a long, unhappy life and never really feel like they have been successful in their careers or personal life. Many people seek acceptance and fulfillment from their surroundings and it's a slippery slope climb.

What if we changed our definition of success?

All too often, your own personal definition of success depends on other people or our circumstances to help make you feel like you have achieved success. When things go as planned, you feel great. You may even feel like you earned it. After all, you did everything you were supposed to.

However, when negative things happen outside of your control, you can feel defeated or as if you didn’t work hard enough to make it successful. For example, your the presentation didn't go as planned, you weren't able to close the sale, or you didn’t get the raise that you were expecting. What do all of these examples have in common? You were defining success in the wrong way. You were defining the success on the outcome, not on the journey and the lessons learned along the way. You cannot always control the circumstance that surround you. Therefore, it’s important to have a new way to define whether or not you have been successful in something. What if you started defining success by something you can “be” rather than by the outcome of a situation?

I had an experience in which I drove over two hours for a 30 minute product presentation to a group of dental hygiene students. When I got there, the projector wasn't working and I had no way to project my presentation to the audience.

The PowerPoint I had come to rely on so much was not going to be accessible.

As the technical team on campus worked hard to try to make it work, I finally just explained that I would do the best that I could with what I had. Was I nervous to try something new? Was I scared I was going to fail miserably? You better believe I was. On top of the technology not working, the building that I was to present in was uncomfortably hot during the month of May and the audience was ready to get the presentation over with and get to somewhere cooler. My 30 minute time allowance was quickly going by—I had no other choice than to do it without any visual aids. I used my clinical product knowledge, my passion for the product and my real world experience to educate the audience on why the products I was presenting were the best products for them.

And guess what? 

The presentation was one of my most successful ones and I learned that I actually preferred this method. 

It made for more audience interaction and the audience could focus more on the content rather than what was up on the screen. I was able to connect more with the audience and I found that my confidence actually increased during the presentation. It was a much more authentic message than it would have been if I were simply going through each slide and highlighting the products. I actually had several audience members stay after my presentation and ask more questions because they were truly interested in what I was showing them.

What if you started defining success by something you can “be” rather than by the outcome of a situation?

When something is scary, you tend to think of every possible situation that could happen and think of anything that could go wrong. Not having access to a PowerPoint presentation was definitely on top of my list of fears! But then I realized—if I could get through a presentation with no visual aids, nothing else could cause me to fail! One of the biggest things that could go wrong, one of my greatest fears, actually happened and I survived! Not only did I survive but I also grew as a presenter by being forced to I step out of my comfort zone. It's not something that I would have ever done on my own or would have ever volunteered to do. But it happened and I was thankful for the experience. I learned to define my success in my ability to “be” —confident in myself, passionate about the product, positive about the process, rather than something I had no control over. 

If my presentation had been based on the circumstances, something I had not control over—no projector, air conditioner that wasn't working well— it would have been considered a failure. Nothing went as planned, but that doesn't mean that my presentation didn't go well. It simply meant that my circumstances were less than favorable. Even though the circumstances were not what I was expecting, it ended up being one of the best things that could have happened! 

Just try to remember this:

Even though you didn't get your raise you asked for or the promotion you feel like you deserve, that doesn't mean you can’t control how you react to it and grow from the challenges. It’s easy to feel hurt or angry because you feel like you did deserve a raise or the promotion. You feel like you are consistently giving all that you can and excelling at your job duties. Remember, you are trying to redefine your success by things you can “be” rather than things than happen to you. In this case, you can “be”— grateful that we have a job, happy that we have a good relationship with our patients, and thankful for a full work schedule. 

In the past, you might have considered giving less of yourself to your patients because you didn't get what you wanted and you are tired of continually giving and not being properly compensated for it. How is that going to benefit your emotional state? How is that going to make you happier? It is so easy to feel sorry for yourself when you don’t get what you feel like you deserve. Of course, there is always the option of finding another office to work at but it’s very likely that you may run into the same situation at another office. It may not be about monetary compensation but it is very likely to happen at any office under a different scenario. 

It’s important to remember and understand that your happiness doesn’t have to be based on what happens to you. It comes from knowing how to react to our circumstances and to make the best of a situation. Think of the possibilities that can come with simply changing your definition of success.