Redefining Success: Finding Personal Fulfillment Beyond Stereotypes

Introduction

Have you ever paused to reflect on what success truly means to you? In today’s fast-paced world, the rise of social media has bombarded us with images of wealth, power, and status. In the past decade, we’ve seen a 202% increase in social media users, going from 1.6 billion to 4.8 billion. With that staggering growth rate, we’ve also seen an estimated 289% increase in content, with nearly a third portraying society’s view of success. We are indeed living in the age of information, which can be a wonderful thing, but this societal expectation often pressures us to chase an idea that may not lead to true fulfillment. Is this the only path to success, or is there a deeper, more personal definition of success waiting to be discovered?

This article is the first installment in my three-part series, Navigating Success: From Uncertainty to Clarity, where we’ll explore the journey from societal expectations to personal fulfillment.

The Impact of Social Media

We’ve all heard it by now.? The influence of social media on our perception of success has been a widely debated topic in recent years. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, TikTok, and others often showcase the highlight reels of people's lives, creating a skewed reality. The constant stream of curated images and updates can make it seem as if others are effortlessly achieving great heights, leading to comparisons that may not reflect the full picture.

This phenomenon has sparked significant discussion, with research supporting the notion that these unrealistic standards can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and depression. The pursuit of external symbols of success—such as wealth, status, and material possessions—can be draining and often fails to deliver enduring happiness and satisfaction. While not a novel concept, it is crucial to acknowledge its continued relevance, especially for young professionals who navigate their careers in a social media-driven world.

Trevor’s Reality

Recently, a young man we will refer to as Trevor reached out to me on LinkedIn seeking career advice. Trevor shared that he was beginning his professional career and wanted to know if we could chat sometime. He admired what he presumed was my journey from humble beginnings as an hourly employee in the restaurant industry to becoming a Human Resource Executive and Entrepreneur. He asked, “How can I achieve similar, if not better, results as I begin my journey?”

Trevor’s request struck a chord with me, as it reminded me of my own early career struggles and the mentors who helped me navigate those uncertain times. Having spent 30 years in the restaurant and hospitality industry, I’ve encountered countless individuals facing similar dilemmas. In my current role as Head of Culture and People at Peachtree Restaurant Partners - IHOP , I’m often approached by young professionals like Trevor and my own children and their friends, who are grappling with the pressures of defining success in today’s rapidly changing world.

Analysis Paralysis

After an initial video call with Trevor, it became clear that he was deeply concerned about achieving long-term success. Stuck in analysis paralysis, overwhelmed by the plethora of career choices and the fear of making the wrong decision, he was immobilized, worried that he might spend years of his life chasing the wrong path in his ultimate pursuit of success—or worse, never discovering the right path at all.

He expressed that the constant bombardment of social media portrayals of wealth and status only intensified his anxiety, leading to a fear of falling behind his family members and peers.

The AI Age: Navigating Uncertainty

Trevor's awareness of the AI Age added another layer to his concerns. The rapid advancements in artificial intelligence and automation are transforming industries and redefining job markets. Many traditional career paths are disrupted, creating opportunities and uncertainties for young professionals like Trevor. The fear of becoming obsolete, choosing a career that might not exist in a few years, or missing out on the next big wave of opportunity weighed heavily on his mind.

I reassured Trevor that while the work landscape is changing, the underlying principles of success remain steady. Specific skills will guide him through the challenges ahead, even in uncertain times. By honing these skills, Trevor could better navigate the evolving job market and position himself for success. I’ll delve into that a little more later.

Charting a Path Forward

I listened intently to Trevor, asking follow-up questions to help him begin charting a path forward, starting with a journey of self-discovery. Throughout our conversation, I shared some of my life experiences and a framework I’ve developed over the years—drawn from my time with incredible mentors, insightful leaders in the personal development space, and plenty of good old-fashioned trial and error.

I emphasized the importance of truly understanding oneself—identifying strengths and weaknesses and exploring what genuinely interests and motivates you. We discussed those activities and interests that bring a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction, which makes you look forward to getting up in the morning. By focusing on what matters to him, Trevor could build a life that aligns with his true self, providing a solid foundation for his decisions and helping him stay engaged and motivated as he navigates his career and life journey.

Focus on Your Purpose First

Trevor had communicated some audacious goals for himself, which is commendable, especially considering that only about 3% of people have clearly defined, written goals, according to a widely referenced, albeit debated, Harvard Business study. While Trevor's goals were mostly stereotypical markers of success, he was already on a path to achieving more than most. However, the real question was whether he would find fulfillment in attaining those goals and whether he would enjoy the journey along the way.

There are countless examples of individuals who have achieved great success by society's standards, only to realize they needed to be fulfilled. For instance, after winning multiple Super Bowls, Tom Brady famously said, “Why do I have three Super Bowl rings and still think there’s something greater out there for me?” Similarly, John D. Rockefeller, one of the wealthiest men in history, said, “I have made many millions, but they have brought me no happiness.”

It must be sad to acquire great wealth and a host of pleasures only to feel empty. I was curious if Trevor had thought about his purpose. When I asked, he seemed puzzled and admitted, “Trying to figure out how to become successful feels easier than figuring out my purpose in life, and that alone is daunting enough.”

I explained that starting with your purpose is like building a house: you need a solid foundation to ensure the structure can withstand any storm. With a clear purpose, your efforts can stay strong. Just as a well-built foundation supports a house, a well-defined purpose supports your goals and keeps you grounded and resilient through life's challenges.

To illustrate this further, I shared a personal anecdote from my journey. When I was starting out, I was laser-focused on climbing the corporate ladder and achieving financial success. However, it wasn’t until I took a step back and reflected on my true passions and values that I found a sense of fulfillment. This shift in perspective allowed me to pursue a career that was both successful and deeply rewarding. I discovered that my success had become a byproduct of pursuing my purpose.

The Magic of Purpose

"The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding." – Dipen Parmer

This quote has been the highlight of social media posts lately. While some may interpret it as a call to hustle harder or hire a coach, I believe it often prompts people to chase wealth, success, or perfect relationships. However, sometimes, it’s about delving deeper into what we truly want.

I explained to Trevor that the work we often avoid is the introspective journey of understanding our true desires and motivations. This inner work is crucial for defining our purpose and aligning our actions with our deepest values. By embracing this process, we unlock a sense of magic and fulfillment that external achievements alone cannot provide.

The Promise

The internet is loaded with advice on this topic, and my viewpoint is just one small piece among countless others from people far more successful than me. However, sometimes people need to hear a slightly different take on a well-known topic to understand what it truly means to them and find value in it. This was the case with Trevor, who found our conversation so impactful that he insisted I write an article to share it, believing it could help someone else in a similar situation. So, I hope these words find their intended recipient. My conversation with Trevor continued for some time, leading to a series of articles I will share over the next few weeks.

Conclusion

As I wrapped up our conversation, I could see a spark of new understanding in Trevor’s eyes. We had only scratched the surface, but the idea of focusing on purpose over societal definitions of success already seemed to resonate with him. I also suggested that he step away from social media and block out his friends and family's expectations to concentrate on what’s truly best for him.

Trevor’s story is one I’ve seen play out many times throughout my career in the restaurant and hospitality industry. It’s easy for employees at all levels to get caught up in chasing traditional markers of success, often at the expense of what truly fulfills them. At Peachtree Partners, where I serve as Head of Culture and People, our purpose is to create meaningful relationships with our people, partners, and communities—relationships that lead to continuous success and fulfillment.

The Founder and CEO of Peachtree Restaurant Partners - IHOP grew their company by focusing on purpose. My role is to help scale that incredible culture across our diverse portfolio of restaurants, hotels, retail, and real-estate development businesses. We believe in empowering our people with the right tools, resources, and knowledge to navigate their own paths to success and fulfillment. In a rapidly changing world, especially with the rise of AI and automation, developing the right skills and mindset will be crucial for staying ahead.

In the coming articles, I’ll explore how these principles apply to our industry and anyone looking to align their career with their true purpose. By doing so, you can prepare for the changes ahead, ensure success, and find deep fulfillment in your work.

Trevor's journey is just beginning, and I am excited to see how he applies these insights to his life. By starting with a strong foundation of purpose, he and anyone else following along will be better equipped to navigate the challenges and uncertainties that lie ahead.

Have you ever thought about your purpose? Or how it could guide your career and life?

Stay tuned—in the following article, Finding Your Purpose: The Foundation of True Success, we will explore practical steps for discovering precisely that. Then, in Charting Your Path: Overcoming Career Uncertainty, we will wrap up the series by exploring the essential skills you need to succeed in an evolving job market and thrive amid the rapid changes driven by AI innovation.