Redefining Normal....

First of all, I would like to thank you, my friends! I appreciate all of you who have followed our journey of redefining our normal...through the thick and the very thin. We have braved through the proverbial deserts and valleys...we have made progress and we have had devastating setbacks.

But because we have fallen to our knees, we still have the ability to stand up and face a new day...

This week has been an adventure of different proportions for me. I have traveled to seven different states in three days. I have seen the lazy beauty of the southeastern country side and felt the raw power of the jagged mountains of the west.

I have had a lot of time to think.

The interesting thing about TBI is how it impacts everyone...not just the survivor. The invisibility of brain injury is magnified through outbursts and exhaustion...through tears and frustration...through laughter and shouts of anger. It is a ride through life that we never asked for and can never truly get over.

...because you never truly recover. 

I guess being on both sides of this beautiful country has given me the opportunity to really think about everything that we have been through as a family. It has been a journey of magnificent proportions. We have been riding the TBI recovery "railroad" for almost eleven years...and it finally has dawned on me that Mark will never be "better"...he is the redefined Mark. 

...and that is okay.

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to be the Mom and the Dad. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if Mark wouldn't have decided to go to work that way...What if that sixteen year old boy wouldn't have waved at his friends? What if Mark arrived at work on his bright orange and chrome motorcycle unscathed? Where would we be now?

I have thought about that too much...

You cannot grieve for what might have been. You can't shake your fist at the heavens and demand a "do over" from God. You cannot wonder what might have been...you have to focus on what it is now. 

Because that is what life is....

Regardless of the journey, it is a beautiful ride.

So today I am writing with hope in my heart. We have redefined our normal and for the good, bad and ugly it is our normal...and that is just the way it is going to be. I have ran away from our life that was once, and now we are back in the southwestern desert to redefine what will be...a new start; a chance at a new normal...

...and I am okay with that.