Redefining New Year’s Resolutions

As we head towards the end of the 1st month of 2020, already many are falling into a pattern of everyday life that looks suspiciously similar to the one of 2019 that they vowed they would make life altering changes to. It is widely accepted that New Years resolutions that are so often made during that transitional period between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, where confusion reigns about what day it is, and festive food intake regret is high, tend to fall by the wayside often by the end of January. Or for those who have managed to harness their motivation beyond the norm, are still likely to have faltered by the time post Easter Egg binge eating regret sets in.

This is a large reason why people brave enough to publicly declare their optimistic intentions to stick to the New Years’ resolutions they have made, are often met with scoffs and eyebrow raises. Then there are the true nay-sayers who will preach to anyone who will listen that the start of a new year is the worst time to set a new goal or plan. These are usually the same people who also adamantly protest that starting a new 'diet' or lifestyle change on a Monday is a stupid idea that should always be avoided. For them, a new goal is only likely to be achieved if it was implemented at 2.35pm on a Thursday, and during a nondescript time of year that does not hold any personal significance at an individual or societal level.

To the nay-sayers I challenge them with the argument that their belief system about not implementing goal setting or new action plans at specifically popular times is still setting a designated time period that they believe is more optimal than another. Which is actually a fairly similar mindset to those who prefer to start taking steps to create change at popular times such as new years’ or at the beginning of the week.

I believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to begin your new behaviour change program at the beginning of the week or the beginning of the year as there are often psychological factors at play at these times that may be beneficial. For example, the end of the year can signify either a time of celebration of a good year that has gone before, thereby heading into a new year with a sense of optimism and motivation that is considered advantageous when embarking on any new project or setting a goal. Alternatively, if the year has been an awful one and the individual is grateful to see that it is coming to an end, this time period can help create a sense of closure, looking forward to a new year with hope and optimism for a new and fresh start. This too can be advantageous to people’s mindset when beginning a new conquest.

My advice to those when faced with failure to maintain progress or achieve their resolutions is not to abandon them altogether because their vow to keep them consistently from day one has been lost, instead, pause, regroup, re-examine your resolution, and when ready, simply restart. There is absolutely no shame and regret that needs to bear an undue burden on people when they have experienced a false start on one of their goals. The key is to keep going. False starts don’t mean that you have to give up on that goal. Find a new way to get going again and do it.  If you need to restart 48 times before you finally  find your mojo and get to your initial goal, then so be it. Because when you reach that point of success, whatever result that may bring for you, whether it be of feeling elation, greater health, great sense of achievement and purpose, lifestyle improvements, improved confidence, or greater happiness, those feelings will not be any less purely because you took longer than originally planned to get there. 

When it comes to the debate surrounding the value in setting resolutions, I would argue that rather than not setting a resolution as a means to avoid it failing, wouldn't it be more worthwhile to examine the content, structure, and details of the resolution itself? It is the features of the resolution that tend to make it achievable or unachievable, NOT whether you set one to start with.  If the content, structure, measurability, and realistic achievability of the resolution is misaligned, then that is the more likely determinant of it being unsuccessful, rather than simply when it was set. If you took the exact same resolution and tried to implement it at any other time of the year, which would simply change its name from being a resolution to being a goal, then it would be just as likely to fail than a resolution would be if the details of the goal itself don't have the right features to it. It is effective goal setting strategies and behaviour change program design that are really the key to the definition of an achievable new year resolution.

Resolutions that fail commonly have the following tendencies: all or nothing conditions (e.g “I’m going to stop eating junk food entirely”), adding something very time consuming into someone’s already existing and busy time schedule (e.g “ I’m going to go for run every day”), or far too vague (e.g. “I’m going to be a happier person.”). Without first undertaking a thorough investigation into ALL the elements of a proposed resolution, such as how it can practically be embedded in real life, why the person wants to make this change in the first place, and framing it in a specific and measurable way, then the odds are stacked against it from the beginning. For example, healthier eating is a hugely popular new year resolution theme, whereby a common declaration is to state that from the 1st of January onwards, they will never eat junk food, or they will completely stop consuming sugar. Setting these sorts of all encompassing rules from the onset are likely to be extremely difficult to maintain. Unless effective contingency plans have been put in place for dealing with factors within someone’s current lifestyle that may get in the way, these sorts of absolute commitments are likely to fall over when they are first met with obstacles. 

An example. Those with long working hours that have often ordered take away on their late night work days may find that by the 2nd or 3rd time that they are faced with a late-night home they are likely to resort back to doing the same thing, despite their promise to give up junk food. If however, part of their resolution implementation plan included looking at strategies in advance that they could put in place for when their late work nights inevitably occurred, they would be much more likely to be able to avoid resorting to eating the junk food they want to avoid (e.g. freezing pre-made home cooked dinners in advance). Alternatively, perhaps NEVER eating junk food is simply too unrealistic, and reframing the goal would be more beneficial. In this case, perhaps a resolution that declares “I will not eat junk food more than twice per month” is a better and more realistic way to go. This type of goal is not only more specific so therefore measurable, it also allows an occasional junk food occurrence to happen without that person feeling like they have totally failed, therefore helping keep them on track whilst still achieving health benefits they may be seeking by drastically reducing their junk food intake.

Vague, ill-defined resolutions, such as to make the upcoming year “Your year!” or to be “Much happier!”, also make for a unlikely type of resolution to succeed. It very difficult to really track how progress towards this type of sweeping declaration is actually progressing, or to even be taken seriously to start with. Instead, it is worth looking more in-depth into what the tangible details behind those broader statements actually look like. For example, what does it actually mean to you and look like in your life to feel like you are "much happier" or that you are living "Your year!". For example, being "happier" or having ‘your year’ could actually mean incorporating more downtime allocated for yourself rather than continually feeling like a martyr and sacrificing your time to help everyone else. So therefore, what needs to change on a practical level? Redefining your resolution in a tangible way may include stating, "This year, at least once per month I need a whole day to myself to do whatever is needed without question or responsibility." Then there is a specific, measurable, and quality resolution that can be achieved and you are more likely to be able to gauge how these actions are contributing to feeling happy and valued.

Another important feature of effective goal-setting that is often overlooked, is pulling back the layers of how important or high a priority the goal really is to the person, and what they are genuinely and honestly hoping to achieve in it's success. If, when the goal is examined in complete honesty, it can actually be labelled as what I call a ‘should’ in someone’s life, meaning if their motivation to do it is driven more out of obligation, expectations of others, or other external factors (e.g. Running daily because you think it’s a quicker way to lose weight rather than actually liking to go running) it is more likely to fail than if it is internally driven and based on genuinely important priorities for the person. For example, if you have been having arguments with your partner about how much money you spend on your casual wardrobe and have therefore set a resolution not to spend as much money on clothes. Is it reducing those arguments rather than a genuine want to reduce money spent on clothes for yourself that is driving the goal? Regardless of how well structured the plan may be to achieve this goal, the less plugged in to the actual goal that you are on a personal level, the less likely you are to be able to prioritise it enough to achieve it. Effective goals need to hold enough personal significance to you. So if spending money on your casual wardrobe has important components to it that drive you to keep doing it, such as increasing your confidence or if it is associated with some type of reward for yourself that makes you feel good, then perhaps the resolution needs redefining. Instead, there might be a need to have a candid conversation with your partner about why you prefer to spend extra funds on that part of your clothing, and maybe negotiating another area in your budget that you can reduce spending on, allowing a compromise and an outcome that is more likely to not only be adhered to but also to reduce the arguments which in this case is probably the real central motivation behind the initial resolution.

So, before you kick yourself for falling into the January abyss of new year resolutions, abandoning all those good intentions for another year, perhaps a simple re-examination, redefinition and restart is all that is needed. Maybe one of the first and important new year resolutions you can make for 2020 is to learn about effective goal-setting and implementing real change. Go ahead, make 2020 "YOUR YEAR!"

Author: Kylie Latu, www.sentientmind.com.au.