Red Mike Message 3-7-25: Let Them

Good morning, and welcome back to the Red Mike! Happy Friday—and for those observing, happy First Friday of Lent. I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to a fish fry tonight. Glad you’re here—I really am.

Let Them

Not sure if you’re familiar with Mel Robbins, but I recently caught a short interview with her on LinkedIn. I’d heard of her before but didn’t know much about her work. She has a book centered around a simple but powerful mindset: Let them.

Someone’s having a meltdown? Let them.

Someone’s being rude? Let them.

The core idea is not to let other people’s actions disrupt your peace. Sure, there are times when you need to respond to a situation, but more often than not, you can simply let it go. Let them talk, let them vent, let them do whatever they need to do. Too often, people waste time worrying about opinions, waiting for permission, or seeking validation. But life doesn’t wait—so neither should you.

Now, I’m not saying ignore your boss or responsibilities—that’s different. What I am saying is that you don’t need to let the opinions or negativity of others dictate your actions. You don’t need to be swayed by the crowd, especially by those who always have something negative to say.

Think about it—you know the type:

“It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?”

“Yeah… but now I have to do yard work.”

Or that one person who is just a ray of sunshine every day.

Really? Come on.

What I took away from Mel Robbins' let them mindset is this:

• Let people doubt.
• Let them judge.
• Let them misunderstand you.

Their opinions are their burden, not yours. Trying to control what others think or do usually just leads to frustration. Instead, accept situations as they unfold. You’ve heard me say it before—life is about how you react to it… or sometimes, how you don’t react.

Focus on what you can control:

• Your actions
• Your reactions
• Your energy
• Your attitude
• Your mindset

The Benefits of Letting Them

Scott Adams mentioned a book—"The Sublte Art of Not Giving a F***"—that basically reinforces this idea. When you adopt a let them attitude, you’ll feel happier, less frustrated, and more in control. It strengthens relationships, gives you emotional peace, and helps you prioritize what truly matters.

And here’s something people don’t always think about: sometimes, you have to put yourself first. It’s like the oxygen mask rule on an airplane. If you’re traveling with a child or an elderly person, you’re told to put your own mask on first. At first, that sounds selfish, right? But it’s not. If you can’t breathe, you can’t help anyone else. The same applies to emotional well-being—protecting your peace allows you to be more effective for others.

How to Apply This

Be mindful. Notice when people try to pull you into their drama.

It's not your circus; it's not your monkeys.

Recognize patterns. Do you jump in too quickly? Do you always feel the need to help? Step back and evaluate.

Accept what you can’t control. Not every situation needs your input. Not every problem is yours to fix.

Empower others. If you’re a leader, one of the best things you can do is ask your team, “What do you think we should do?” Instead of solving everything for them, let them come up with the solution. More often than not, they already know the answer.

I remember a time when a manager on my team came to me with a situation and said, “I think we should do X, Y, and Z.” I simply responded, “Sounds good—go ahead and do that. Let me know how it goes.”

They were shocked. They expected me to take over. Instead, I gave them the opportunity to manage it themselves. And you know what? It made them a better leader.

Final Thoughts

Not every conversation needs your advice. Sometimes, people just need a safe space to vent.

Not every situation requires your intervention.

When it comes to your own decisions, you don’t need perfection. You don’t need permission.

So take a breath. Count to five. Let the naysayers and negative voices fade into the background where they belong.

Because at the end of the day, the only approval that really matters… is yours.

Think about it.

That’s today’s Red Mike Message.

Life is short. Drink the bourbon.

Red Mike Messages are leadership and life lessons I’ve picked up from 25 years as a public servant, 16 years as a youth football coach and scouting volunteer, and 10 years as a mediocre athlete with far more heart than actual physical ability.