Red Mike Message 3-6-25: Regrets

Regrets...Yeah, I’ve had a few—but then again, too few to mention.

What do I mean by that? Well, I was watching the Paramount+ show 1923. I’m a big Taylor Sheridan fan—I watch all his stuff. I haven’t seen the one with Jeremy Renner, but I need to check it out. Sheridan has a great way with words, writes compelling characters, and tells powerful stories.

In 1923, one of his characters, Spencer Dutton, says:

“People aren’t defined by what happens to them. They’re defined by what they do. More often than not, they’re defined by what they don’t do—what they’re too scared to do.”

Think about that for a moment. That’s a deep, insightful truth. Spencer isn’t just some philosopher throwing around big ideas—he’s a man of action. A warrior. A hunter. A World War I veteran. He’s bold but also haunted by the things he’s seen and done.

When he said those words, he wasn’t sitting comfortably in an overstuffed, leather chair in a cozy parlor with a whiskey and a cigar. He was standing on a ship ledge, talking to a man ready to throw his life away. This man wasn’t broken by war or hardship but by emotional and physical wounds that convinced him there was no way forward. Spencer didn’t coddle him or promise that everything would be okay, though.

He told him the truth:

Life is about choices.

We don’t control everything that happens to us, but we damn sure control how we respond. That’s what defines us—not fate, not circumstance. It’s whether we step forward or stand still.

More often than not, the biggest thing holding us back isn’t the world—it’s us. Go all the way back to Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar:

“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.”

Who knew Red Mike knows Shakespeare!?! It's actually my favorite Shakespeare quote.

It’s not outside forces—it’s that inner voice whispering: What if I fail? What if I look foolish? What if it’s too hard?

But here’s the truth: Our biggest regrets aren’t the mistakes we made. They’re the chances we didn’t take.

For me, the biggest regret of my life is not finishing my Eagle Scout. I should have. But fumes got in the way—exhaust fumes and perfumes.

I broke my leg at summer camp. While rehabbing, I focused on football instead of finishing my Eagle. Then I worried about getting a job, making money, and buying a car. And, of course, the distraction of girls. Those two things—cars and girls—derail a lot of Eagle Scout candidates. I was one of them.

If I could talk to 15-year-old Patrick from the other side of 50, I don’t know if he would’ve listened. But I know now that I should have finished.

I’ve mentioned Rocky a million times, and I won’t use my usual quote, but in Rocky III, there’s a moment when Rocky admits to Adrian that he’s afraid to fight Clubber Lang again. Clubber had beaten him badly in their first fight. Knocked him out. And Rocky finally says it—Yeah, I’m afraid.

We all face those moments. Fear creeps in. That inner voice whispers: You can’t do this. You’re not good enough. You’re going to fail.

But here’s the thing—admitting fear isn’t weakness. It’s the first step to overcoming it. Just like Rocky had to face his doubts before stepping into the ring again, we define ourselves not by fear, but by whether we let it stop us or push us forward.

FDR put it simply:

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

Courage isn’t about being fearless. It’s about acting despite fear.

If you wait for certainty, you’ll wait forever. If you wait until you’re “ready,” you’ll never move. And then? You’ll look back and have regrets.

And to bring in one more pop culture reference—Green Lantern. The entire foundation of the Green Lantern Corps is Willpower. Not being fearless—but overcoming fear. Using it to move forward.

So ask yourself: Are you defining your life by what you do—or by what you’re too afraid to do?

And that’s today’s Red Mike Message.

I hope you found it interesting or helpful. If you did, please give us a like, follow, and share—whatever platform you’re on, it means a lot.

And don’t forget:

Life is short. Drink the bourbon.

Red Mike Messages are leadership and life lessons I’ve picked up from 25 years as a public servant, 16 years as a youth football coach and scouting volunteer, and 10 years as a mediocre athlete with far more heart than actual physical ability.