The Red Helicopter: Practicing Genuine Kindness

World-renowned private-equity investor and consultant James Chee tells a compelling story about a red helicopter he was given as a child and what it taught him about practicing kindness. This ultimately translates into a strategy for professionals to inject kindness into their workplace by making it 1) something tangible, 2) shareable, 3) and accompanied by a story that fosters goodwill. As we prepare to head into the summer of 2022, it's worth taking a few moments to reflect on Chee’s kind-hearted story and think about what it means to practice genuine kindness.

Even as children, we understand the value of kindness. It might be something as simple as sharing our lunch with a friend at school or picking them to be on our team first so they won’t get picked last. It's in our nature to try and understand others and show goodwill towards them. However, over time something happens and we change. We get a little more cautious about who we share our lunch with; maybe even start negotiating for someone else’s, and we stop picking our friends first because they might "make us lose."

Unfortunately, the desire to get ahead becomes a priority until we are given some perspective. But perspective is only something that can be gained over time through experience; through both success and failure. Regardless, reversing this overwhelming feeling of a "me first" mentality and practicing kindness towards others again doesn't require some tremendous investment or grand gesture. Private-equity investor and world-renowned consultant James Chee tells a compelling story about a toy red helicopter he was given as a child that provides a perfect illustration of this point:

James ate lunch with the same classmate every day during elementary school. Then all of a sudden one day his friend stopped showing up for school. He really wasn't sure what happened, but he knew something was off. Where had his friend gone? Then finally one day he walked back from yet another lunch alone to find his friend, his friend's dad, and his brother all standing by his desk. In his friend's dad's hands was a toy red helicopter. And as James went to sit down, he handed him the helicopter and said "thank you for being my son's friend."

He wasn’t quite sure why he had given him this; much less why he would say something so serious afterward.?It would not be until a few days later that he would find out why he had been given this seemingly random gift.?His classmate's mother had recently passed away unexpectedly. This was the reason why he hadn't been at school all this time. The red helicopter was a gift to thank James for being so kind during such a difficult period in his son's life. On the days when James’s friend came to school with no lunch (which was nearly every day), he would share his lunch with him. He found it weird that his friend never had any lunch of his own, but he always shared his without giving it a second thought. It was just in his nature to be kind. He didn’t want his friend to get “picked last.”?

That gesture taught James something very important that he's taken with him and applied throughout all aspects of his professional life.

His friend’s dad had created value out of thin air. The toy was just that, a toy. But it meant so much more. To show his gratitude, he didn’t feel the need to go over the top or buy him some sort of extravagant gift for being his son's friend. He only wanted to show him his appreciation through a simple act of gratitude.

When he was given the helicopter, the exchange was human. There wasn’t anything superficial about when, where, or how he was given this helicopter. There wasn’t any need to plan the exchange or make an announcement about it, it just happened. Through the ebb and flow of daily life, kindness was mutually exchanged. ?

The helicopter was also more than just a toy, it was a symbol of kindness. It was something that could be shared, both literally and metaphorically. James kept the red helicopter and now proudly displays it on his desk for all his clients to see. Whenever he looks at it, he can't help but think of what his friend’s dad said to him that day.

Here are the lessons this short story can provide for any professional navigating all of the uncertainty right now...

DON’T CHEAPEN KINDNESS

Like the father in James’s story, there isn’t any need for an over-the-top or extravagant approach to practicing kindness in the workplace. It really doesn’t take much to show gratitude. It can be something as simple as making sure that a co-worker doesn’t start their morning without coffee, or something as complex as supporting your colleague at the next meeting while they propose an idea they know is risky. Kindness comes in a variety of forms, but none of them require a tremendous investment. It doesn’t take a 6-week training program to prioritize the interests of others above our own.?

MAKE KINDNESS A HUMAN EXCHANGE

It's important to remember that showing gratitude or practicing kindness is not a pre-planned activity. It’s just not something you can prepare for. We can have birthday or retirement parties that require a bit of planning, but the art of being kind on a daily basis is something that just happens.?We cannot plan when, where, or why we will have to show compassion or be a bit more empathetic in the workplace. However, we can embrace a mindset that is constantly searching for opportunities to practice kindness. That way, when we do encounter situations where kindness is required or necessary, we are ready.?

MAKE KINDNESS SOMETHING SHAREABLE

James has been able to look at that red helicopter over the years and remember what it stands for. And while we can’t have toys sprawled out across our desks or homes that we call symbols of kindness (because that would be kind of ridiculous), we can create a work environment where our strategies and efforts for prioritizing goodwill are contagious. The very methods, attitudes, and culture of our work environment can become something that people want to share and talk about.

It can be hard for any company focused on the bottom line to invest time, energy, or effort into something that can’t be measured. You can’t measure kindness, so why bother? While it may be true that you can’t measure kindness, there really isn’t any need to. Kindness is something that becomes a part of the fabric of your organization organically. It can’t be purchased or stored away for use at a later date. However, it can be something that is readily available throughout every part of your everyday business interactions.