Rectitude vs. kindness: what humans got wrong for thousands of years

Have you ever noticed how nature shapes human-built structures using straight lines into beautifully rounded ones?

In my daily walk this morning, I was reflecting on my last spiritual experiences, while asking for some light to my career and life transitions. It’s been a long time since I feel that I’m searching for an answer to my life purpose, like most of us do. I have written recently about how some wished but truly unexpected signs crossed my path in the last four weeks. Too many things to write in an essay that would help you see “the light” that was shown to me, as a highly rational and agnostic person. It is an incredible journey of surrendering rather than forcing myself into one or another path. 

This morning, after walking my dog Blue, I brought him back and took off in a longer walk. After a day interviewing for a job in another city, I went out today asking again, a good skeptical and rational being, for signs to understand and learn my lesson. 

When I was a kid, I wanted to be an architect. I’ve lived an entire life thinking about the beauty of symmetry and straight lines. This idea of beauty aligns well with a catholic upbringing, even though my brother and I rebelled against any form of organized religion (after a good dose of bullying from the wealthy kids in the private school where we went for free, since my dad was a teacher there). Aligns. Hmm. Stay tuned for where this goes...

As I keep walking every morning, I’ve been asking for signs to guide me. I love looking at the sun: it’s “light” very needed in the darkest end of difficult life transitions. After that incredible experience, that I wrote about a few weeks ago, what I call my “enlightenment” after many years of spiritual confusion and rationality, today I learned another incredible lesson. Listen to this. Have you ever thought about what you see in nature? Nothing you can see that’s “natural” follows a straight line. However, everything you see that’s man-made in a walk (houses, signs, fences, poles) follow straight lines. I realize that, architecturally, straight lines are “better” but this is the other observation. The only “natural” thing I found that follows a straight line (to the naked eye, of course) were sun rays, as “The Light” as I call it, was trying to show me in a very cloudy day that she is still with me. 

Humans have believed in “Gods” and “Godesses” in connection with “light” and against “darkness”. The energy of the Sun in the solar system is critical to life. No wonder why humans, since the beginning of time, have played with light to create temples (I remember the incredible effect of the light going through a hole in a temple in Egypt, and how other altars in many religions have a connection with light). What I’ve realized is that humans have tried to imitate those sun-ray-straight-lines as “perfection”, and creating systems that reward “rectitude” and “straightness” as good. From here stems the “right and wrong” and moral systems that we have established for thousands of years. What I came to believe this morning is that “The Light” is there not to imitate her, but to show us the beauty of what’s around us, which is nothing but irregular shapes and curves. We got it all wrong. Our sense of beauty is all around the wrong concept. 

Life is not a straight line. Careers are not a straight line. Decisions are never a straight line. Human achievement is not a straight line. Leaders for centuries have rewarded “rectitude” instead of “kindness”. We created “rules” (guess what that means). What we see around us from “God” (or whatever you want to call it) is “rounded with kindness”, but all human built “stuff” is straight lines. 

My calling is to help #leaders lead in healthy, kind and compassionate ways. I have been accused of having a “tortuous” professional career with lots of twists and turns, fired for not following the rules, and accused in hypothetical #leadership exercises for being too ”soft” and not “driven enough” (while in real life, my leadership career has shown me the gratitude that my direct reports have expressed to me for being inclusive, letting them fail, learn and grow, and understanding mistakes instead of going after them with immediate punitive measures).

It’s not about being right, but being kind. The light is there to show us the beauty of irregularity and the perfection of what we came to conceive in our minds as “imperfect” because it doesn’t follow straight lines. All attempts to organized religions, particularly in the Western Hemisphere, failed to capture the essential gift of “The Light”. It’s not about rules, impositions and fear. It’s about kindness and love and beauty. Don’t look at the light as a beacon of perfection, look at the beauty that it’s trying to show you. It’s next to you. Be kind to it and to them. And when it comes to leadership, it’s not about rectitude, morality and drive, but about being human, kind and understanding of others. Ultimately, our higher purpose is to flourish and help others do the same. That’s what a “wise leader” would focus on.

Do with this reflection what you see fit, but promise me something: let yourself, not like I did for so many years, enjoy irregular forms, circumvent the “rules” for a greater good and, above and beyond, show kindness towards behaviors that you may interpret at first as “wrong”. Greatness is inside us, we just need inspiration, light, kindness and love. Systems and processes are helpful to get “organized” as a flock, but never let others undermine your greatness by “the rules of the flock”. A good leader will never be a “ruler”, but a compassionate and kind person who will help you learn and grow and ultimately flourish as a good human being. #bewise and #bekind and be ready to love the unconventional beauty around you. Do not look at the light, just follow it to see what she is trying to show you.