IT recruiting and Emotional Intelligence

What can be the link between IT recruitment and emotional intelligence?

How can such a technical field be related to something so subjective as emotions?

In the present article we will follow together how the two concepts are actually closely related and the result and performance is in close connection with certain practices and strategies on an emotional level.

Conversely, lack of performance and efforts to no avail, in turn has associated different patterns of behavior, on an emotional level.

What are the differences, how we can implement the most useful practices and how we can defend ourselves from shortcomings, we will find out further in the article.

What I chose to do in this article, was to bring together two different realities, rarely seen together: hard based psychology and IT recruiting. While we are filled with pop concepts about emotional intelligence, I chose to structure this article on proven and measured concepts about dimensions and factors of EI, and for that I chose Reuven Bar-On’s EI self-reporting test (the most worldwide validated test on measuring emotional intelligence).

So, let us begin!

What is and isn't emotional intelligence?

According to Reuven Bar-On, author of the oldest emotional intelligence test, EQ-I, this is "a group of abilities, competencies and non-cognitive skills that influence the person's ability to adapt to environmental demands and pressures".

The concept was not invented by Daniel Goleman, contrary to what is widely known, the author of 1995 books "Emotional Intelligence" taking over concepts already existing previously in psychological literature.

Peter Salovey and John Mayer came the term “emotional intelligence” in 1990, describing it as a:

“Form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and action.”

Actually, Daniel Goleman is rather credited to broadening the concept of emotional intelligence to such an extent that is no longer to be considered scientific or a measurable concept.

What emotional intelligence is not? Well, this is an even harder question to respond to, as the concept was during times very much compared and even replaced with social intelligence, wisdom, practical and functional intelligence. What is for certain, is that is not an abstract or verbal capacity of manipulating images, figures and words, as cognitive intelligence is described.

What is emotional intelligence made of? What is its structure? How is it to be measured?

Definitions and paradigms differs very much (thank you Daniel Goleman for making popular a concept that is even for psychologists hard to define….the dog is already out, too late now for making conceptual constrains in pop psychology. Daniel, thank you also (sic) for creating the confusion, amongst nonprofessional community, between empathy and emotional intelligence!).

That is why, we had to decide on Bar-On’s model

The author proposes 5 big dimensions IE is split into:

-      Intrapersonal.

-      Interpersonal.

-      Stress management.

-      Adaptability.

-      General mood.

Every each of these big dimensions comprises several factors as following:

-      Intrapersonal

o  Self-Regard - the ability to respect and accept oneself as she/he is, to accept both positive and negative aspects, and both strengths and weaknesses.

o  Emotional Self Awareness - the ability to recognize and be in touch with one's feelings. Emotional Self Awareness is the basis of numerous emotional skills.

o  Assertiveness - the ability to express feelings, beliefs, and thoughts and defend one's rights in a nondestructive manner.

o  Independence - the ability to be autonomous, that is self-directed and self-controlled in one's thinking and actions, and to be free of emotional dependency.

o  Self-Actualization - the ability to realize self-potential capacities

-      Interpersonal

o  Empathy - the ability to be aware of, to understand, and to appreciate the feelings of others.

o  Social Responsibility - the ability to demonstrate oneself as cooperative, contributing, and constructive member of one's social group.

o  Interpersonal Relationship - the ability to establish and maintain mutually satisfying relationships that are characterized by intimacy and by giving and receiving affection. Pertains the most to the ability of interacting with the others.

-      Stress Management

o  Stress Tolerance - the ability to withstand adverse events without ''falling apart'' by actively and positively coping with stress and to weather difficult situations without getting too overwhelmed.

o  Impulse Control - the ability to resist to or delay an impulse, drive, or temptation to act

-      Adaptability

o  Reality Testing - the ability to assess the correspondence between what is experienced and what exists objectively.

o  Flexibility - the ability to adjust one's emotions, thoughts, and behavior to changing situations and conditions.

o  Problem Solving - the ability to identify and define problems as well as to generate and implement potentially effective solutions.

-      General Mood

o  Optimism - the ability to look at the brighter side of life and to maintain a positive attitude, even in the face of adversity.

o  Happiness - the ability to feel satisfied with one's life, to enjoy oneself and others, and to have fun.

All these are definitions extracted from Reuven Bar-On’s manual of EQ-I (emotional intelligence self-reporting questionnaire)

         As one can already see, the most detailed part refers, surprisingly, not to relations with others, a realm where empathy (cognitive or emotional, we would make no difference here, as things are already complicated enough) reigns.

         Reuven considers somehow that emotions self-management is more important and thus comprises the most numerous factors.

         All good, by now, but where does IT recruiting come and how does it relate to all this?

         I would say for those that never got a touch with recruitment that it can be described in as many attractive images and colors as possible, but on thing must and should be stated from the very beginning: recruiting means stress! A lot of it! If anybody will ever tell you that recruiting has nothing to do or too little to do with stress, you could as well answer, “va tutto bene, caro Pinnochio, ti credo! C’est bon Cirano, je te crois! Es ist alles in Ordnung Herr Munchausen, ich glaube, Sie”, but for God’s sake, do yourself a favor and find a more sincere professional!

         Recruiting is high value selling, you sell your prospects added value for their future having fierce competition. You either are one of the best, or you are on journey of suffering and frustration.

         Next year I will be having 20 years since I started working in recruiting and personnel assessment and during these years, I have seen so many times how this profession can crush egos, bend self-assurance and temper self-esteem. Who am I kidding, I’ve seen young professionals being relieved in admitting that this is too much for them, and, as intriguing as it might seem, they felt better acknowledging that they are not up to the task. Can you believe that?!

         What about IT recruiting tough? Well, I would enjoy the first to be happy to tell you that things are not so fierce in IT, as I am CEO of and IT recruiting agency. The truth is, IT is the most cruel and quickest executioner of low emotional intelligence personality type ego professionals. If one might have a chance of properly facing stress in general recruitment, in IT things go even worse.

         The industry itself is a nerve racking one. Projects come and go before they even start, requirements change just when they were adopted, technologies change with an ever increasing speed so that, basically, you become an expert by the time you might already retire! ??

         How does IT recruiters experience all these?

     First, when recruiters are presented the project, it is already late, and urgency is just a nice way of seeing “I need those candidates like yesterday!”. They have to “sell” legacy code plagued jobs to candidates that are consuming only the latest frameworks and programming languages.

         First, when recruiters are presented the project, it is already late, and urgency is just a nice way of seeing “I need those candidates like yesterday!”. They have to “sell” legacy code plagued jobs to candidates that are consuming only the latest frameworks and programming languages.

When they approach their candidates, it is a norm to always have a difficult one, the rule of the rude, I would say! I saw once a half page reply from candidate, that I could literally feel my ears exploding just imagining hear him shouting.

         Let’s assume that all goes well to the stage of presenting the proper candidates and job offers are made to them. Happy recruiter, wouldn’t you say? Not so much, as if you are dealing with a valuable highly skilled candidates, some other recruiters are hunting them too, and also, they are likely to get offered better salaries by current employers too. Even worse, the whole process sometimes gets staged by what I call as “fake” candidates in order to obtain better salaries on current job. By now, if you are in the midst of all this, you might be already wondering “why is this happening to me? What am I doing wrong?”. For God’s sake, let’s be honest about it: your candidate can sign the labor contract with your customer, just to decide a day before to ghost you and your customer! Are you still here? ??

         In my experience I have seen numerous promising recruiters counting offered candidates as job closed. They were taught lessons that reality did not agree with them!

I have seen nerves break downs, tears, disappointments, up to nearby depressions. “I cannot do it anymore! This is not for me! It makes me depressed in my personal life too! My head is hurting me most of the time!” are just but of few of what I witnessed.

Is this the reality of IT recruiting? Yeap, it is, the naked one, but fortunately not the whole one. There is a happy an glorious side to this story.

         As much as IT recruiting crushes the “bones” and egos of those not fitting, it lifts, empowers and give enormous satisfactions to those that are naturally born, or ambitious enough for this profession.

         Those that failed, gave up, could not bear anymore, felt like they had to protect and preserve their self-image and get out ASAP are only a part. Another part are those that understood the norms of the industry, they adapted and decided that continuous learning is not an option, but the only option. Learn, grow, expand your confort zone and you will succeed! Chose otherwise, and you will get in a situation where others and context is always to be blamed.

Continuous learning is not an option, but the only option. Learn, grow, expand your confort zone and you will succeed! Chose otherwise, and you will get in a situation where others and context is always to be blamed.

         How are these two categories different from the emotional point of view? How do they treat nearby events, opportunities, and difficulties different from each other? How can one lead to succes, performance and satisfaction, and the other set of strategies to failure, frustrations, and other blaming strategies?

         Let’s take it step by step, EI factor by EI factor, and see how these traits generate different emotional decisions, attitudes and behaviors in each case.

         Self-Regard

         A high score self-regard factor IT recruiter will always have the advantage of improving his/her skills while perceiving the need for development points will be harder to achieve for the low score ones.

         Emotional self-awareness 

         Being in the box of your emotions, especially when dealing with negative ones, will create enormous bias in your decision. Recognizing emotions while experiencing them can conduct to better decisions. Thus, your customer decision to change the requirements on even entire jobs in the midst of recruitment will not necessarily generate a later full of regret email or reaction. You will admit that is only natural to be affected, but you will find the resources to move on.

         Assertiveness

         As an IT recruiter, if you lack this one, you are doomed in this profession. Direct approach, cold calling, emailing out of the blue candidates are industry standards. You have to be composed, self-assured and firm in your relations both with candidates and hiring managers. A senior all JD skills candidate, for the salary of a junior is something that is rather unrealistic, and your hiring manager has to know this. Be wise, be diplomatic, and be assertive, else, you will waste the most valuable resource: time!...and hold you ground in front of the rude candidates!

         Independence

         Lack of independence means not being able to handle the myriad challenges you face with your IT candidates. A high score on Independence IT recruiter will more likely to handle properly the relation with candidates and hiring managers and thus put them on the same table and close more deals.

         Self-Actualization

         Self-Actualization will help you as an IT recruiter aim for your better versions, make the necessary steps to achieve for the next quarter more than you have already achieved in this one. Low scores on this factor will keep your silent qualities unused and never put to test and use.

         Empathy

         Yes, Reuven cared about this mega star in IE: the mighty concept of empathy, we all talk so much about in modern organizational environments. Lacking empathy and not being able to identify your candidate’s fears and emotions, also your hiring manager’s ones, can easily put you in the dark and no results area.

         A high score on empathy recruiter, which is not a moral value, but a skill in identifying other feelings (sociopaths do score high on empathy tests, especially cognitive type one) will have an edge and handle candidates’ objections and also hiring managers’ ones more easily.

         Social Responsibility

         Well, let’s put it this way: I would not want to have a low score on social responsibility recruiter in my teams, regardless of how good he or she can actually be. Divas in your team can be disruptive factors and you never know when they can disrupt even your relations with customers and also with candidates. Keep in mind: recruiters do bear your company brand. You need them responsible and accountable for their deeds.

         IT recruiting lacking ethics is a plague hard to cure and you should rather not have to deal with it. Trust is of utmost importance, both from candidate end and customer end.

 IT recruiting lacking ethics is a plague hard to cure and you should rather not have to deal with it. Trust is of utmost importance, both from candidate end and customer end.

Interpersonal Relationship

         Although we are not talking here about intimacy, being capable of caring for other, taking into consideration their needs, is something of utmost importance in IT recruiting. A low level of emotional care is needed for trust to be built for a recruiter in relations with candidates and customers.

         Low level of interpersonal relationship score equals to a rigid, clumsy social behavior and that is, obviously, something that not only in IT recruiting does not work, but also in all kind of recruiting (perhaps only in military drafting, but not even there)

         Stress Tolerance

         When you are not stressed in recruiting, it only means that something awfully wrong is happening (or something right, not happening). Urgency, deadlines, unpredictability are your companions in IT recruiting.

         As an IT recruiter, you are supposed to do what your customer or your customer HR department cannot do. From the very beginning, you have high expectations to meet.

         You have to handle multiple projects at once, react rapidly, adjust as quick as possible, never rest on self-assurance. Low level of stress resistance will in time get you very tired and impair you’re your functionality as human being.

         On the other hand, high scores on this factor, means that stress will only energize you, keep you running and give rather serotonin, than adrenaline and other stress hormones. Might get you addicted, be aware! ??

         Impulse control

         Rush you process and you will lose your candidate, no matter how good your job is. You have to listen, pace yourself to your candidates’ rhythm so that you can build rapport with them.

React impulsively to your hiring managers and will hardly see any hiring for their teams.

         High scores on this one will keep you clear minded, open to better and more useful options. And having options is something that you always have to look for in IT recruiting.

   Reality testing

         This one is my favorite one! Why is that? Let me tell you a story.

         O former colleague of mine, IT recruiter, told me once:

“Radu, what say you if I close this project this month?”.

I asked: “How would you know that?”

“Well, I scheduled a discussion with a candidate, next week”.

“But how could you possibly know that you will close the job with this candidate?" I replied? 

“Radu, I just feel it. Let me be optimistic! If we are not positive in our thinking, than we are lost”

As you already might have guessed, the job was never closed with that candidate, and not by that recruiter.

IT recruiters with low and very low scores on this factor are either overly optimistic, or rigid in their magical thinking. They believe they have some kind of magical wand with which they cast “hiring spells” on their candidates. They are also utterly blind to the fact that their candidates are most likely talking to other recruiters too.

Of course, in the end, it is never their fault. Candidates are not good, jobs not attractive enough, management does not motivate them enough, water has to many atoms of hydrogen and too few of oxygen….

On the other hand, IT recruiters with high reality testing scores will always be aware of what is happening and never, but never ever, will they consider a job closed before the candidate starts working first day at job.

IT recruiters with high reality testing scores will always be aware of what is happening and never, but never ever, will they consider a job closed before the candidate starts working first day at job.

Also, been keen on their environment they will make the most of their candidate and hiring manager feedback. They will never replace reality with dreams or hopes. They will keep them in separate boxes, and that makes them highly effective in their work.

         Flexibility

         The second most favorite is this one, because in shows that feedback is working. I am also a strong believer of the NLP presumption “the most flexible behavior will always have more chances of succes”.

The most flexible behavior will always have more chances of succes

         Is one thing to have a pair of scissors, it is another thing to have a swiss army knife. True in nature, true in recruiting, the more diversified you are in your strategies, the more chances of achieving your objectives, you have.

         Being rigid, reluctant to change, is a recipe for being left behind in IT recruiting. There are some tips and tricks that are more resistant in time, but things change too often not to be all ears and eyes on how you can improve your work.

         Your candidates are on constant learning, so should you. At least in IT recruiting.

Problem Solving

In business and also in recruiting, problems are everywhere. If it is hard for you finding solutions to every single problem you face, you might have unrealistic expectations about your job.

There will always be a situation you did no foresee. There will always be a chance you get ghosted by your candidate. Or your candidate does not show to the interview. The ability to find solutions will keep you going trustful that you can handle the project and help your customer close the job.

If you have catastrophic perceptions about the problems, unable to quickly react with a proper solution, the job of an IT recruiter might seem to daunting and also exhausting for you

Optimism

         Remember the story I told when we were at Reality Testing. Actually, my colleague was right about having a positive outlook about your job and projects. If you cannot be trustful about closing them, that your customer is in the wrong hands. The key is to have this trait properly mixed with reality testing, and flexibility. Listen, adjust, observe, repeat. In NLP and psychology, we called T.O.T.E. strategy (testing, operation, testing, exit).

         Having low scores will impact your relations with your candidates and hiring managers. Business is a bet on the future. Lack of optimism equals to lack of trust in future, and business does not work absent trust.

Happiness

Well, I recommend having high scores on Happiness factor not only to IT recruiters, but to everybody. I just want to say that happiness is not something you find or encounter, but rather something you do. You set yourself goals and with every step you come closer to them you become happier about them. Instead of being miserable about the things you cannot do or change, you should rather be happy about the things you accomplish.

With so much stress and work to do, being happy about having projects closed is something every experienced IT recruiter has as an emotional routine.

Being always worried and incapable of celebrating succes is rather a bad emotional habit that leads to exhaustion and abandonment.

So, in the end, if you are a dummy from the emotional point of view, better not try your teeth into this profession, as they might brake easily. On the other hand, provided with the necessary motivation and cognitive intelligence, IT recruiting might be a solution of rapidly increasing your EI score (not the easiest one, I would say. For more comforting strategies, try a therapist, but it can be a very long journey). Bare in mind, it can also crush your ego.

Many join the industry, part of them resist, only few of them thrive!

I am Radu Bonchis, an almost 20 years experienced psychologist, CEO and Founder of AMS Human Resources, an IT recruitment agency, and I love sharing with you untold stories about IT recruiting!