Recovering from a Wobble

I’ll never forget that moment. We were on a break in a high-profile leadership development program that I was facilitating. Nerves were already at play as it was my first time delivering this type of content on stage. While munching on a cookie, I engaged in a quick conversation with my department executive, asking for her thoughts on the day. “Mike, you must take your facilitation up a level and here’s what you really should do…” she advised. The words hit hard. I nodded and listened, but I can’t remember what I said or did next because that’s when I moved into a whirlwind of self-doubt.

Eager to fix things swiftly, I returned to the stage after the break, attempting to integrate her feedback immediately – however, the noise in my head persisted. Maybe I’m not a good facilitator? Perhaps she and others think I’m terrible? Maybe I’m not a good fit for my role or this company?? Internal paranoia peaked when I later observed her chatting with 2 other facilitators – I was sure they could only be discussing my lackluster performance.

When the program ended, despite an abundance of positive feedback, applause, and congratulations, I couldn’t seem to shake the experience.? My confidence took a hit and I had convinced myself that I had delivered a subpar facilitation experience, now questioning my overall abilities. It was indeed a pivotal movement that challenged my leadership – I had experienced a wobble.?

My Perspective on Wobbling

When things wobble in nature, they move or rock unsteadily back and forth. In the face of adversity, humans, too, also wobble. Throughout our professional (and personal!) lives, we’re bound to wobble many times. However, the critical point is not how often, why, or when we wobble, but rather how we recover and learn from wobbles, which is fundamental to shaping our personal leadership.

In a follow-up conversation with my Manager a week later, we had a constructive dialogue about how I could use the feedback to strengthen my skills as a facilitator, and we reflected on the comments in the broader context of what was truly a successful program outcome. It’s crucial to recognize that perception is personal, and often the only person who saw you wobble was you. Stepping back to reflect on the full picture helps to quiet the inner voice that labels us a failure, an imposter. I also acknowledged that stress had affected my energy and resilience levels during program delivery, a significant contributor to the wobble I’d experienced.

Empowering Growth

Today at Silver Lining , my energy tank is full as I coach individuals and leaders through adversity, empowering them to view setbacks as pivotal experiences for their growth and development. Drawing from my leadership and learning experiences, as well as insights from my own wobbles along the way, here are some reflective questions I use to coach clients to reframe their biggest ‘mistakes’:

1. What Did You Learn?? Embrace lessons in every experience, turning setbacks and wobbles into stepping stones for growth. Don’t let pride or fear shortchange you from the chance to reflect on, and learn from these experiences.
2. Who Can Offer Valuable Insight? ?The follow-up conversation with my Manager was key in helping me put things into perspective. Seek feedback from trusted coaches and mentors to gain a balanced perspective. Focus on feedback from those who genuinely care about your growth and whose opinions you value.
3. How Can You Build and Maintain Resilience? ?Inventory, build and maintain your energy reserves before, during, and after stressful situations - they are crucial for your resilience.? For me this involves yoga, exercise, humor, and short spurts of music throughout the workday. I also recognize the physical signs when my tank is running low and then prioritize self care – if not, I’ll be off-balance for future wobbles.?
4. How Can You Normalize Wobbles for Others?? As a leader, this will build trust, strengthen team connections, and greatly enhance psychological safety within your team.?

Now, returning to me…? As a new entrepreneur working in uncharted territory, I fully anticipate continuing to wobble as I navigate challenges outside my comfort zone. The key for me is remembering not to fear the wobble but embrace it as a catalyst for growth. I picture a Jenga game, wobbling more and more as it reaches new heights. That wobbling and momentum, that’s me – and also you – pushing through boundaries as we continue to grow. And if the tower comes down, we’ll build it up even stronger! That’s what coaching and development is all about.

So, I’m ready to wobble…? are you ready too, as you inch closer towards your Silver Lining?

#Leadership #Resilience #SilverLining #Growth #LeadershipDevelopment #Coaching