Recover from Failure

Last week, we talked about failing with joy, and we all know that failure happens and we need to recover from it.

(Note the "ands" in the above sentence where you probably expected "buts." We are "yes and"-ing here.)

Drop perfectionism

So, first, accept that failure will happen from time to time. That's the first step toward recovering from failure. Let's talk about perfectionism a little bit.

Perfectionism doesn't allow for failure. And because it doesn't allow for failure, it doesn't allow for risk. And because it doesn't allow for risk, it doesn't allow for growth. And if you don't allow for growth, you won't grow. And if you don't grow, you can't reach perfection on very many things.

So, drop perfectionism.

Fail

Now, step two. Fail.

Not on purpose. That's silly. Unless you're trying to demonstrate something, in which case, you're not actually failing. So, fail.

Don't worry, it will happen. Now that you've failed, let's go to step three.

Laugh.

Okay, you may need to cry first. But, eventually, you're going to need to laugh, and the sooner you can do that, the better off you are.

I don't mean laugh literally in all cases--some failures are not funny under any circumstances. But laughter can help you move forward. The Mayo Clinic says that laughter can:

• "Stimulate many organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs, and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain.
• "Activate and relieve your stress response. A rollicking laugh fires up and then cools down your stress response, and it can increase and then decrease your heart rate and blood pressure. The result? A good, relaxed feeling.
• "Soothe tension. Laughter can also stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which can help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress."

In other words, laughing at what went wrong can give you the boost you need to fix the problem. You have more oxygen and endorphins, and your stress level drops.

But this is VERY SERIOUS Suzanne, and IT IS NOT FUNNY

This is HR. We do not do brain surgery over here. (Although brain surgeons are welcome to join us.) Everything is funny given enough time and a different audience. Your tragedy is a good story at a party.

Funny is about recognizing the absurdity in things. That's why we laugh at comedians who point out very basic truths.

Caution: There is an f-bomb in this video

John Mulaney did an entire Netflix special laughing at his drug addiction. If he can laugh at that, you can laugh about having payroll fail.

Think of all the funny things about a payroll failure and laugh at them. If payroll doesn't run properly, you could

• Put everyone's rent/mortgage payments on the CEO's Black Amex
• Quit, take the money that should have gone to payroll, and run to Tahiti
• Prepare for the hoards of angry employees coming like zombies waving their credit bills in your face.

Ahem, Suzanne, we said this was NOT FUNNY.

Oh, it is; lighten up. Watch this scene about how laughter makes the absolute worst thing in the world a little bit better.

Not that payroll didn't run properly. That has to be fixed RIGHT NOW. True. But laugh at the funny things surrounding the big failure. And now that you've released those endorphins, it's time to take the next step.

Fix the problem

Just go ahead and fix whatever you can fix. Clearly, no one can bring Shelby back, but the rest of Steel Magnolias is about moving forward. John Mulaney can't undo the problems he created through his addiction so he can move forward. And you can do whatever it takes to fix your payroll problem.

I wish I had a fancier solution that I could sell you for $19.95 plus $4.95 shipping and handling, but this is really the key to recovering from failure. Laugh the best you can and stumble forward.

Next week: Why Stumbling is okay.