Reconnecting to The Art of Hosting (Creating Moments of Connection)

Last holiday season reminded that community isn't (just) a job, but a way of life.

Story time: moving across the pond from NYC to the suburbs has been an adventure in redefining myself. I went from the hustle of a global city to long drives through quiet roads and oversized malls on the way to my son's daycare— and felt a little lost.

But recently, I found myself again in hosting.

Noting that the act of "hosting" isn’t just about opening your home and setting up beautiful plates on a table—it’s about creating moments of connection.

It means setting and sending the invitation (either for coffee or for a dinner party). It means designing experiences, making space for conversations and memories to be created, etc.

Here are three that have deeply moved me:

? Friendsmas: I hosted a sleepover for two of my best friends from Malaysia, their families, and ours. We stayed up late, eating, laughing, and sharing stories.

We even opened a bottle of rum I’d bought 15 years ago during my first expat adventure in Mauritius—a bottle my dad had saved for me all this time.

There were moments I wanted to save it for another occasion, but I realized: the true meaning of that bottle was to be appreciated by people who understood its worth.

? Cheesebread for neighbors: We baked cheesebread and went door-to-door introducing ourselves. Almost every visit ended with us getting invited in for some wine and conversations.

I couldn’t help but reflect: We’re often afraid of knocking at an inconvenient time or overstaying our welcome, not knowing that inside their houses there may be empty glasses meant for unopened bottles of wine, and empty dishes meant for serving.

We’re all longing to make space for meaningful connections and conversations.

? Community involvement: I’ve started joining local activities—yoga classes, craft events, and storytelling at the library with my toddler, Lucas. I’ve met other parents, signed up to volunteer, and stepped up to invite them for play dates.

Taking that first step to say, “We should grab coffee,” can be daunting, but it opens the door to so much more

?Staying in touch: In the online world, I took the step to send a heartfelt life update to friends and connections spread all around the world (inspired by friends like Zvi Band ??).

? Hosting our first Christmas and NYE we welcomed our friends, family, and some of our neighbours (whose children live across the country) to break bread with us, creating and spreading warmth throughout our new home.

These small acts of hosting brought me back to the reason I even started building community at first. It isn't different than the reason some of our users try Timeleft for the first time either.

At certain moments in life, for whichever reason—just moved into a new city, just broke up, or just need some fresh conversation after too long in a loving relationship—we need to step out and meet strangers who could eventually become friends.

Taking a quote from my very own Hacking Communities: "Building a community from scratch is like hosting a house party after just moving to a new city where you don’t know anyone. After landing in a new city, I advise you explore a bit before hosting a housewarming party.While you get settled building yourself a home, step out and get to know the city. Discover places that feel good. On the way, your choices will lead you to meet people you resonate with, and these people may lead you in the right direction."

As a foreigner moving from country to country, I often missed that sense of warmth I had grown used to as a child (raised amongst the youngest sibling/cousin big family on both mom and dad sides).

My grandmothers would host long tables for every special occasion - and how the napkins were folded mattered less than the interactions around the table.

That's what I missed and tried to intentionally re-create since circa 2007, when I first moved into a new city completely on my own—and then to countries like Mauritius, Argentina, Chile, Malaysia, and finally the United States.

I wish I could send a note to my 2010 self, who bought that rum bottle on her way back from Mauritius to Brazil:

"You couldn’t have imagined where you’d be today—hosting and celebrating life with friends and family at home, one stop away from NYC. A Jersey-boy you fell in love with and is now your husband, a border collie hoping for food drops under the table, a busy toddler laughing and running around. Life is good."

Last holiday season reminded me that the power of hosting is that of finding yourself while making space for others feel at home.

On that note: I wish you (and us all) a happy new year of several moments of shared joy and meaningful connections!

What’s one small step you’ve taken recently to connect with others around you?