Reconciliation Is Reciprocal By Design

It is a dance led by the privileged, in which those buried in adversity become active participants

I read recently that (@Fact) those who dance frequently are the ones among those with the highest self-esteem and most likely to have a positive outlook on life. In many of the assignments I have had the pleasure of being part of (organisation change and transformation), both as part of the leadership of an organisation, as well as a consultant, coach and facilitator, I have been witness to this, that may seem to be trivia. Reconciliation, as described in the dictionary:

• The restoration of friendly relations.
• The action of making one view or belief compatible with another.

It is when it is described as a verb, an action word, that I become excited with the language I use the most to express myself when I am not speaking in isiXhosa, isiZulu, or in ChiChewa, or ChiTumbuka. This is how it is captured (RECONCILE):

• To restore friendly relations between.
• To make (one account) consistent with another, especially by allowing for transactions begun but not yet completed.

As in dance form of two dancers in tango, it (reconciliation) has to be voluntary, with both taking alternating roles of leader and follower, depending on the context and movement as it interchanges in seamless flow until the music is over. The reason I prefer the verb or action word, is that it is explicit in its description that there has to be restoration between two, who were once friends, but now are not. It is an act, as accountants and bankers would say, of making one account consistent with another, taking into account what has begun (in apartheid years), which may have to be changed in midstream, to accommodate what has come as a result of the new South African democracy.

Twenty years down the line since the dawn of our democracy, many still relate our story from two extreme positions: victor and victim, privilege and adversity, rich or poor, young or old, able and differently-abled (disabled) trust fund baby and born poor baby, and more. THAT is the current reality and it will take the two from the mentioned and the unmentioned pairs, to dance with reckless abandon, to really reconcile the South African situation. In one of the many workshops I have facilitated in the name of organisation transformation, one Black fellow said: “How can I forgive and forget, when you (referring to a White person in the room) are still wearing my grandfather’s jacket?”

That jacket could be anything: the wealth built by your family through 300 odd years of heritage, and bequeathed to you as the privilege you would like to attribute to hard work today. It could be the private school, former model C, or premier university degree education that you may attribute again, to many hours of burning the midnight oil. It could be the cushy job that you have landed at one of the local conglomerates, multinationals, or it could be the family business built over many generations, through hard work, as you would like to believe. That jacket, looked at from different perspectives, represents different things to different South Africans; it is also one of the stumbling blocks to national reconciliation. Whilst we are at odds as a nation, divided by the past and the present, we will have a hard time to create a competitive nation out of the ashes of apartheid, for its cinders still burn negative energy which feeds the anger of the victims of the past. On the other hand, the same cinders, keep the greed-fire burning, making it difficult for those who have the proverbial fat in their mouth, to consider reconciliation as an option.

Most of these feeble attempts at the level of the corporation, to reconcile, under the banner of transformation, almost end up in smoke, for none of the leaders (shareholders, Boards and executives) are prepared to go all the way. Those who now have nothing to build on, have to work their way through the system, like we did, they say. It is always all talk, with no real altering of the values and beliefs that got us where we are as a nation today. They are prepared to take a few from the other side (those dispossessed of their forefathers’ jackets), so that they may be what is commonly known as ‘economic security guards’ so as to keep peace. I believe that kind of peace is short-lived.

Until such time we all fall in love with the dance of reconciliation, like the character (having a great career and a loving family, lawyer John Clark) in ‘Shall We Dance?’, we will not find the joy of reconciliation, for as much as we have tried on the political front, we have failed dismally to reconcile [using the banker’s definition: To make (one account) consistent with another, especially by allowing for transactions begun but not yet completed]. John Clark could not find peace in the art of dance until he fell in love with it, deeply.

1. As the half that faced adversity in the previous regime’s tenure, we need to have the resilience required to penetrate the thick wall of denial by those who benefited from the past. We have to do it with love and compassion. That resilience must show in:
   1. Media coverage.
   2. Robust, courageous and bold public policy, with enforcement capacity, including change in foreign and trading policy if it comes to the push.
   3. In recent conversations with trusted associates, they were shocked at the suggestion of taking away incentives from the auto sector if they were not prepared to transform. I say, all businesses should earn their keep in our economy. They must have an operating license that is supportive of our transformation and reconciliation agenda as a nation (united nation of all those pairs mentioned above).
2. Furthermore, as the half that faced adversity in the past and currently still so, we have to find practical ways of beating the exclusive system of privilege, by staying true to the values of sharing and finding power in numbers. Do not be content with being the only Black, woman, or disabled person, or any of the many I have not mentioned.
   1. Just imagine if those who have more than 5 Board position, only stopped at 5 and accepted no more.
   2. Imagine if the billions of Rands made available since the 1990’s were spread across thousands, if not millions, through broad-based structures! It would make it easier for the owners of corporations in South Africa to get their values aligned with the Constitution, and all transformation programs would go the Full Monty.
   3. Organisations like BBEC would swallow, in influence terms, organisations like Business Leadership SA and similar, which, in my view, are still exclusionists in approach, despite the fa?ade of transformation. It is the values that count and the values manifest in narrative and actions. Many of the business formations fail dismally on the latter two.
3. Pitching reconciliation alongside national competitiveness is something agents of transformation are not doing enough, hence the suspicion with which it is viewed by the privileged. Credible research, from credible institutions, like Harvard, point to a scenario of doom, if national reconciliation is approached half-heartedly. None of the winning nations according to the World Competitiveness Report, have glaring civil war, whether on the streets or in the Boardrooms of their corporations. In speaking to leaders in business in South Africa (and I speak to a lot of them), they say: “It is war out there!”- Under the circumstances, South Africa stands no chance of being a super economy in Africa, on this count alone.
4. As the privileged South Africans, the wealthy who never voted the National Party (just kidding) or supported apartheid, or supported sanctions-busting initiatives in the dark ages of pre 1994, sincerity is important towards driving reconciliation. Your shenanigans in the Boardroom can easily be traced back, to the past in the old South Africa, or some parts of the current political agenda in opposition politics. The best quality in the oppressed masses, is the intellectual ability to gauge the intentions of others, verbal or unspoken, so stop trying, you are busted. Engage in real transformation that goes beyond talk shops.
5. Create platforms for multitudes to emerge from the oppression of the past, as the wealthy ones:
   1. Loosen the stranglehold you have over access to wealth and wealth creation.
   2. Do not always go for the usual suspects, for there are many who are worthy, beyond the few politically connected leaders and professionals.

• Genuinely reach out to those whose values, hearts and minds are wired to do good. There are many, believe me, they are the ones who continue to prevent South Africa from burning with frustration with the capitalist system.

1. I believe that you, as the privileged few, you stopped learning a long time ago. As the rest of the developed world’s creative minority is experimenting with more innovative ways, you are still stuck in the past in:
   1. Wealth and wealth creation and shared benefits of same. The old hat of capitalism is being rejected the world over by enlightened leaders.
   2. Nation-building is the foundation of a partnership between business and political leadership (nations go to war to protect business interests, just as an indication of how far they are tight together). If you are malingering in this area, your currency to criticise government will always be without value, like an adopted child’s in a callous family home.

• You have to invest your wealth, to multiply it, and you are not going to be successful if you invest with the few who do not have the long view of South Africa. You have to develop the art of the long view so that you can recognise it in others, others a few generations from now, your legacy may be zero, to your own, and the nation in general.

1. As reconciled nations become competitive nations, it surely begins in commerce, to create THAT competitive nation. A nation not beholden to its government for family survival will surely have power to appoint the political leaders it wants.

As you reflect on what you will do as a South African that would love to see national cohesion, be conscious of the position you occupy in society, not out of anger because no wealth has been bequeathed on you, or you never had a chance to get a good education, or a cushy job. It should also never be out shame, guilt and arrogance, because of the wealth amassed, both in the old and the new South Africa. I plead with all South Africans to reflect and envision from a common position of being human. It is the oneness of humanity that will yank us out of our comfort zones. Believe me when I say, both positions: privilege and adversity are of comfort, for when we remain in each, we do not have to do the hard work of unlearning what has always worked for us, and learning and doing the critical reconciliation that is required. We could remain as we are and build the high walls to keep others out, or throw missiles over the walls and criticise the system; that is not going to build a competitive nation through reconciliation.

REAL RECONCILIATION is not diversity awareness programs and learning stupid things about how to deal with an Afrikaner and Zulu, Xhosa, Venda and Shangaan and more. Real reconciliation will happen when we, as leaders, seek to understand what makes our followers tick, and what they want, to give more, then give it to them, for the benefit of all.

Visualise a South Africa that is a force to reckon with in Africa in terms of competitiveness and integral consciousness of its leaders A South Africa that cares for each and every one of its 49 million citizens, with leaders that are candid with each other, whether they are in academia, politics, commerce or government. .

I visualise leaders who are not there to milk the economic system for their own narrow benefit, but to optimise it for most.