Recognizing Patterns of Thinking that Prevent Us from Feeling Hope

Recognizing Patterns of Thinking that Prevent Us from Feeling Hope

I was talking recently with a man who found himself in that all-to-common space of trying to decide his life path since a lay-off occurred.

He felt like he was at a crossroads but as he looked down the two roads of possibilities—start his own business or find another job, all he saw was a cloud of confusion, a lack of clarity, and second-guessing himself, his skill sets, and how they might fit in the current marketplace while longing for more freedom, but mentally attached to the handcuffs of security.

There was a long pause when I asked him what he wanted in his life right now. Emotions clouded his face as he finally said, “I don’t know. ?I feel confused when you ask me what I want. What I am hungry for though is Hope.”

As I reflected on his words and associated feelings, I could see that he was playing in a subconscious playground where he did not understand the game's designer or the rules (habits of thinking) that it was playing by.

Our subconscious is always playing a ‘keep you safe prediction game’--constantly trying to predict what is safe, not what is reality, and then impeding you when its non-reality predictions feel unsafe.

For my friend, his mind was diving into a deep pool of past experiences, emotions, and learned behaviors, as well as old mental stories that were triggering him into automatic responses of confusion, inaction, and a constant mental looping that led him nowhere but feeling unsure and unable to feel hope.

It can sound like this: “Hey you! it is too high of a risk to start your own business. What if you don’t succeed, what if you can’t get funding? What if you don’t have what it takes? What if…”

This strikes me that playing in this playground his desire for more freedom of creative expression, and avoidance of perceived future employee/job suppression collide with his inner voice saying “I need security”!

In this space, he is surrendering to his habits of thinking that are keeping him stuck in a not-so-fun playground of confusion.

The hope comes in “Alignment between conscious goals and subconscious drivers which is crucial for clarity and effective action". -Brendon Burchard

If it would serve you to get the perspective from ten years of studying neuroscience and the psychology of success, let’s talk.

Debra Armstrong M.Ed.

ETC - Educator, Trainer & Coach | Career Coach | Job Search Strategist | Small Business Coach | Interview Prep | Résumés

1 个月

Our subconscious and our inner voice so often hold us back. I see this type of thinking and confusion among many laid-off people.

Brian Hill

Founder | AI Bossmobility | Community Engagement, AI Technology

1 个月

Or decide who you are and want to be. Hope in my life comes from a God who sees me , cares fir me and understands me. In the Bible in Romans chapter 12 it talks about verse 1 through 10 and the particular scripture that stands out to me is in verses 1 2 and 3 it says so dear brothers and sisters I played with you to give your body to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice the kind he will find acceptable this is truly the way to worship him. Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you which is good and pleasing and perfect

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