Recognizing Greatness

Has anyone told you how great you are?

This is from Timeless & Timely , where we find the past in the present and the present in the past, as we learn together about character strengths that matter. Sign up here for the complete experience (you might even say the Full Monty ), including additional essays, podcast, Q&A advisory chats, and other exclusive offerings for our community.

“A show of superior knowledge, perception or taste usually is as defeating as being seen to think on television… If the world arranged itself along the lines set forth by men and women of genius, how would it be possible to elect a president or bestow an Academy Award? Who could anybody invite to dinner?” — Lewis H. Lapham, 1999

The Emmys aired over the weekend.

While I don’t watch a lot of television, I am selective about the few shows I do make time for.

One of my requirements is some sort of superlative, usually with respect to the writing. I enjoy well-written shows that have been recognized for their superiority.

Shows like Hacks, The Sopranos, Better Call Saul, Breaking Bad, The West Wing, and they like.

Shows that have fascinating characters with compelling story arcs, where bingeing feels as gratifying (and necessary!) as viewing a single episode.

Since most of these are shows of the past, I don’t have an opportunity to write to the creators and writers to ask them questions in the middle of a season.

Around here, though? I’m actively working with executives and their teams , writing this newsletter, and hosting a podcast — and sometimes I get questions and comments.

I like when that happens (are you picking up what I’m putting down?)

I recently received this question:?

“Did someone in your life see your greatness before you were able to see it yourself?”

Before I answer that (and it’s a fascinating answer), let me share some relevant quotes?that help tell the story.

1. How we arrive at greatness

“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ‘em.” — William Shakespeare, 1602, Twelfth Night

The question above seems to align with the concept of having greatness thrust upon us. Not as a function or position, but as a concept — an idea.

In my experience (and maybe yours too), when someone in our life recognizes our greatness and we pay attention to it, it's not just from someone who admires us (although they do) — it’s from someone whom we admire.

It’s less about the 3rd grader fawning over the accomplishments and abilities of a 5th grader than it is about a teacher pointing out a 5th grader’s unique abilities.

When the recognition comes from an authority or someone whom we respect and look up to, it carries more weight.

2. Notice who notices your greatness

“Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius." – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

When someone of great talent, ability, and achievement recognizes us, it should make us more self-confident, self-aware, and self-reflective. It’s more than peer recognition and it's certainly above pure admiration by a junior.

Being called out by an industry great, a hero, or an icon is as intoxicating as it is motivating.

It’s a match that sets alight the tinder of potential and ambition within us, eventually engulfing us in a conflagration of achievements and accomplishments.

3. Surround yourself with greatness

Beyond recognizing genius and greatness, we need to choose greatness. The people we choose to surround ourselves with matter a great deal:

“If each of us hires people who are smaller than we are, we should become a company of dwarfs. But if each of us hires people who are bigger than we are, we shall become a company of giants.” — David Ogilvy

Greatness ought not to intimidate us. It should inspire us, give us ideas, make us want to become better than we are.

True leaders are confident enough in their own skills (and deficiencies) to want to have a strong group of leaders surrounding them as they work together to achieve great things.

4. How we think about our own greatness

"When you reread a classic, you do not see more in the book than you did before; you see more in you than there was before." — Clifton Fadiman

It’s one thing to live with your own thoughts and self-assessments. But when those are met with an outside opinion or observation about you, your assumptions about your limitations might be obliterated.

Suddenly, thanks to someone’s belief in your greatness, you might have an entirely new outlook on your abilities.

With more reflection, with reading, with feedback, and with interaction with a mentor or coach , you begin to see more in you than there was before.

I believe that insight is much more powerful and motivating when it comes from someone you look up to.

So, back to that original question:

“Did someone in your life see your greatness before you were able to see it yourself?”

Yes. And not only a single someone. Many people over the course of many years have seen greatness in me.

The first were my parents. They loved me, supported me, and reinforced their belief in anything I set my mind to. Maybe that’s an unfair advantage, but it’s essential to what I’ve been able to achieve and still have planned.

I had teachers who were thoughtful, engaged, and attentive, giving me the flexibility to learn in ways that were untraditional in some cases.

Along the way, there have been select bosses who I’ve admired and respected, who have seen some spark in me, some element that others don’t take the time to notice, and have said kind, encouraging, and inspiring words that have meant more to me than I can express.

Has someone you admire told you how great you are? How did it make you feel?

If you see greatness in someone, tell them.

There’s so much to learn,