Recognizing the Arsonist Within
Are You Getting in Your Own Way?
Welcome back to another edition of Cultivate Leadership. Today we take a turn into the mess that be our story.
When things start falling apart at work, we usually look at the people around us. Maybe we blame the team, the system, or the circumstances. But what if the biggest obstacle isn’t “out there”? What if the real fire starter—the one lighting all the flames—is actually you?
We all have an “arsonist” inside us. It's that part of ourselves that shows up when we’re stressed, overwhelmed, or feeling out of control. It’s the habits, fears, and reactions that sabotage our own efforts. Recognizing that side of yourself is the first step toward becoming a more effective leader. And trust me, it’s something we all need to do.
Step One: Look in the Mirror
We don’t always realize the damage we’re causing. The arsonist doesn’t announce itself. Instead, it sneaks in through small actions—like micromanaging, snapping at team members, or avoiding hard conversations.
It’s easy to think the problem is with others. But leadership isn’t just about managing your team; it’s about controlling yourself. When things go wrong, the first question is, “How did I contribute to this?” It’s not about beating yourself up—it’s about owning your role in the mess. That’s where real growth starts.
Step Two: Own Your Flames
Once you recognize your arsonist, it’s time to take responsibility. The truth is, we all have blind spots. We all do things that slow progress down. Maybe it’s an unwillingness to let go of control or avoid conflict until the problem explodes.
Owning your part in this isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength. Your team will respect you more when they see you holding yourself accountable. And when you set the example of personal responsibility, others are more likely to follow.
Step Three: Put Out the Fire
So, how do you stop the arsonist from burning things down? Here’s how to start:
The Power of Being Real
Here’s the thing: The real you matters. Your team doesn’t need a perfect leader—they need a real one. And being real means admitting when you’re wrong, owning your mistakes, and doing the hard work to get better.
When you show up as yourself—flaws and all—you create an atmosphere of trust. Your team will feel safer, more connected, and more willing to bring their full selves to work. That’s where real teamwork happens.
Self-Reflection Questions
Featured Resource
Book: "The Obstacle Is the Way" by Ryan Holiday Amazon
This book is a powerful guide on how to turn challenges and setbacks into opportunities for growth. Based on the principles of Stoicism, it teaches leaders how to recognize internal and external obstacles as stepping stones to success. It's a great read for leaders who want to face their inner challenges head-on and come out stronger.
Final Thoughts
Recognizing the arsonist within is about getting real with yourself. We all have habits that get in the way of success, but the leaders who take the time to reflect and grow are the ones who make the honest impact. Remember, leadership isn’t about being perfect—it’s about showing up, owning your actions, and doing the work to improve.
领英推荐
What are you going to do about it?
This week, pick one habit you know is getting in your way as a leader. Please share it with someone you trust and commit to making one small change. It doesn’t have to be a massive overhaul—just one shift in the right direction can make all the difference.
How Can We Work Together?
At True North Consulting, we believe the real you matters. Many leaders feel stuck and lose the joy that leadership should bring. But real leadership comes from being your true self, built on trust and heart. We help you rebuild that trust, find your passion again, and lead with purpose.
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P.S. What are your thoughts on this week’s topic? I’d love to hear from you. Share your insights and experiences by replying to this email or commenting on my latest LinkedIn post. Let’s keep the conversation going!
Leadership & Wellness Coach | Empowering Professionals to Achieve Purpose & Impact | Veteran | Ultra-Athlete | Insurance Producer Protecting Families & Legacies
6 个月The idea of recognizing the "arsonist" within is a great reminder that leadership starts with self-awareness and accountability. I really appreciate the actionable steps you outlined—especially the importance of seeking feedback and making small changes. This approach is key to growing as a leader and building trust with your team. Thanks for sharing this insightful post, Ben!
Time Freedom Community
6 个月Great question here, Ben: When was the last time I asked for feedback—and actually listened to it? Been a minute ??
?? Disney Expert | ??? Speaker & Author | ?? Empowering Leaders to Level Up with Walt Disney’s Wisdom | ?? Helping Organizations Build a Culture of Creativity & Success
6 个月Wow! Very true and insightful. Thanks, Ben. A reminder that you can't really lead others until you've learned to lead yourself. Responsibility=the ability to respond well. That can be a challenge when we are busy putting out multiple fires and not even noticing the one's we actually started!