Recognising the Signs of Dementia

It began subtly, almost imperceptibly, as things often do. Sarah noticed her mother, Helen, repeating herself more frequently. At first, it was little things—asking about the time or commenting on the weather as if it hadn’t been mentioned a moment before. Sarah dismissed it as the natural forgetfulness of growing older. After all, Helen was 78 and had always been sharp, witty, and fiercely independent.

But over time, the signs became harder to ignore. One afternoon, as Sarah visited her mum for tea, she noticed that her mother had left the oven on, and the toilet wasn’t shiny clean like always. Helen laughed it off, saying, “Oh, silly me,” but Sarah saw a flicker of confusion in her mother’s eyes, a momentary lapse that wasn’t there before.

The Signs Become Clearer

Over the weeks, Helen’s forgetfulness became more pronounced. She struggled to remember the names of Sarah’s children, something that had always brought her joy. One day, Helen arrived at her daughter’s house wearing mismatched shoes and carrying a handbag filled with an odd assortment of items—two hairbrushes, an old receipt, and a television remote.

It wasn’t just the memory lapses that concerned Sarah. Her mum seemed to withdraw during family gatherings, often sitting quietly and staring into space. She occasionally became irritable when she couldn’t find the right words to express herself, her frustration palpable.

The turning point came when Helen got lost walking to her favourite café, a place she had visited weekly for years. A kind stranger brought her home, but Helen was actually shaken, unable to explain how she had ended up on the wrong street.

A Daughter’s Worry

Sarah felt a growing sense of unease. Was this just aging, or was it something more? She began researching symptoms of dementia and realised many of her mum’s behaviours matched the descriptions. The forgetfulness, confusion, difficulty with language, and changes in mood—they were all there.

But Sarah felt paralysed. What should she do? How could she bring up the subject without upsetting her mother? Helen had always been proud of her independence, and Sarah worried that even suggesting something was wrong would hurt her deeply.

Taking Action

Sarah decided to start with a gentle conversation. One evening, over a cup of tea, she said, “Mum, I’ve noticed you’ve been forgetting things a bit more lately, and I think it might be a good idea to talk to the doctor about it. Just to make sure everything’s okay.”

Helen was defensive at first, brushing it off as nothing. But Sarah persisted, sharing her observations with kindness and care. “You know, Mum, dementia is a disease, not just a part of getting older. If that’s what’s happening, we can find ways to help you manage it. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Eventually, Sarah’s mum agreed to visit the doctor. The GP conducted a series of tests and referred her to a specialist for further evaluation.

Exploring Support Options

While waiting for the diagnosis, Sarah began exploring more resources. She reached out to a dementia charity, where a kind advisor listened to her concerns and provided practical advice. She learned about memory cafés, support groups, and helplines designed for families navigating the complexities of dementia.

Sarah also contacted a homecare provider to discuss the possibility of companionship care for Helen. The idea of having someone visit regularly, not just to assist with daily tasks but to provide emotional support, was comforting.

The Bigger Picture

Remember, dementia is not just a part of aging; it’s a disease that requires understanding and support. For families like Sarah’s, the journey can be isolating and overwhelming. But they, like you the reader, are not alone. There are doctors, charities, and care professionals who can provide guidance and support every step of the way.

If you’re seeing similar signs in a loved one—forgetfulness, confusion, changes in mood or behaviour—take action. Start by having a gentle conversation, reach out to their GP, and explore resources available through charities and care providers.

It’s natural to feel frustrated and worried, but remember, countless families have walked this path. With the right support, you can ensure your loved one receives the care and dignity they deserve while finding comfort in knowing you’ve done everything possible to help.

Whilst your mum or dad may not ever thank you for what you are doing for them as dementia creeps into their life, knowing that you are doing everything in your power as a son or daughter, may ease the emotions or guilt that you are bound to feel during these challenging times.

Be sure of one thing, taking action now is the best gift you can give.