RECLAIMING YOURSELF: STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM

"I think; therefore I am" – what an overused phrase, don’t you think? And that too, in absurd contexts. Poor Descartes came up with it whilst trying to find a link between certainty and reality of the mind and the humans of the 21st century use it to describe their lacklustre performances in various areas of life (Watson, 2020 ). In this short but powerful article, thankfully, you'll know how to use it appropriately and strengthen your philosophical knowledge. Don't worry; this isn't a lesson from the past but, one for your future.

Let's start with the word "I" when you use it in a sentence; you use it for yourself. You are referencing your being – your mind, body, soul – yourself. The word itself is powerful, though it's easy not to understand its depth. To exist is rare. And the fact that you exist is more extraordinary. What is even rarer is that you know this fact when you use the word "I" to describe yourself or include yourself in a discussion are you taking into account all the galaxies which have bent. These stars have scattered to create you. HUGE responsibility indeed – to exist and to acknowledge yourself. Humans are supreme, their intelligence second to none on the planet earth – the epitome of creation. But what a shame it is that we abuse the word, we abuse creation-evolution – when we use the word "I" to describe our circumstances as being a result of other's doing. This is exactly what playing the victim is – shaming creation and your own existence – blaming others for your situation, your circumstances, your being.

Contrary to popular belief, most people who are in the habit of playing the victim tend to think a lot, overthink – at times. According to research, people who play the victim suffer from "victim mentality". These people are convinced that life is beyond their control and everything and everyone is out to get them, to harm them. Their emotions come from places rooted in anger, pessimism, narcissism, fear and anger. These emotions lead them to point fingers, host pity parties for themselves and divulge constant blame onto others. Anyone can develop a victim mentality. This trait isn't inborn, it is acquired. Perhaps, a childhood trauma? Emotional abuse? Unhealthy relationships, codependency, toxic coping mechanisms, anything can lead to the development of this mentality.

Where it would be too far-fetched to say that everyone has had this mentality at least once in their life, it is indeed easy to develop such a mindset. And why not? A victim doesn't have to take responsibility for anything, they can never be held responsible, the right to complain is inherent to victims, victims don't feel angry because what do they have to be angry for? They're victims – engulfed in sadness and misery. The word "victim" itself is a defensive term. When you're a victim, you are not answerable for anything. This is the reason that victims always gain sympathies and are surrounded by drama most of the times. When a victim is given a choice to step out of this endless cycle of blame and putting off responsibility, they prefer to keep the victim tag (Firestone, 2013).

Have you ever noticed that when a person is subjected to hurt and abuse, they are called victims but as soon as they start fighting back, they become survivors? Men and women who are subjected to rape, for instance, prefer to use the word "survivor" when that face their abusers or come forth with their stories. It's because they are taking their power back. Victims have no power – the power to divert attention from real problems, maybe? But the power to grow? To live as productive members of society? Never.

The only way to not disgrace the very existence of existence is to realize the power that your being has and not fall into the easy route, the shameful course – the course of the victim.

When you think of yourself as a victim, you’ll fucking remain one.

Taking the previous discussion into account, one might think that all victims are bad. No, if you think like that, you are a part of the problem. Blaming the victim for having the mentality that they have is in itself a manifestation of the said mentality.

Developing a victim's mentality or playing one for a while without realizing, isn't all too bad. Let's be real, we all want – at least once in our lives to be the centre of attention, for the world to revolve around our whims and for people to feel sorry for us and not take responsibility for our actions. We're human. We crave emotional connections. It's natural. But deciding to stay in this mindset deliberately when you know that you have fallen into the pattern of diverting blame and craving others to feel sorry for you is manipulation. It shows that you don't care for others, not really. You care for your own selfish desires – the desire to be free of responsibility and accountability (Cabelly, 2011).

If you do, indeed incur the victim mentality in yourself, just know this – it does get old. You won't form real connections with anyone because all you'll be doing is making the other's feel a temporary emotion towards you. Because this mindset isn't a part of normal human experience or circumstances, it's not natural. In the end, rawness, real, primal connections win. One day or another, you will have to face the music, you will have to face your own circumstances because when it's the end, you won't have anyone or anything to blame for yourself but yourself.

Stop playing the victim because your existence is yours only.

Stop playing the victim because you write your own fate.

Stop playing the victim because the “I” you use to describe yourself is yours only.

Stop playing the victim because you are better than that, thank fuck.

Stop playing the victim because feeling sorry for their own circumstances is for the weak.

Stop playing the victim because you decide who you are.

Stop playing the victim because you aren’t the victim.

Stop playing the victim because, in the end, it’s your life and if you think anyone is to blame for your body, your actions, your soul, your emotions but yourself then you, yes you – you are wasting the gift of life itself.

Stop, think and act on your life, and don't allow anyone to treat you like shit! You are your own "I". Get out there and show the world who you are!

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