Reclaiming Your Time: How to Break Free from the Tyranny of Urgency

"Time is relative; its only worth depends upon what we do as it is passing." – Albert Einstein?

This morning, a car came flying down my street, tailgated me as I was driving home from dropping off my kids at school and daycare, and then flew into oncoming traffic to get around me as I pulled into my driveway. This is the type of thing that used to drive me nuts – like fuming, furious, can’t get my mind off it nuts.?

This time, it instead made me reflect on what drives our choices in life. I tried to put myself in that driver’s shoes to think about what drove that high level of urgency, displacing reason and consideration of consequences, like crashing head-on into another car or hitting a child at a bus stop.?

Urgency can do dramatic things, and it can limit our ability to think rationally. Similar to multi-tasking, which many studies have proven makes us dumber, urgency can create blinders as we speed through what we’re doing.?

The Importance of Understanding?

There is a fascinating study from the University of Utah that explores the dangers of distracted driving, focusing on the cognitive overload caused by cell phone use.?

The research shows that using a cell phone while driving, even hands-free, quadruples the risk of accidents due to "inattention blindness" – drivers fail to process crucial visual information, literally not seeing something that is right in front of them and driving into it. This is an impairment comparable to drunk driving.?

Are we “Drunk Driving” Through Life, Work??

As I think about it now, I know that I am not innocent on any of this. I have absolutely been guilty of similar and worse decisions. I have felt the taut grasp of urgency, and it has wound me up and unleashed me on my tasks, problems, and daily work in reckless and unproductive ways. The pressure created by urgency tied to immediate tasks creates tunnel vision and pushes our visibility into moment after moment of busyness.?

Busyness is the Death of Strategy?

The problem with allowing urgency to drive our direction forward is that those tasks might not be adding value to our top-level objective. I’ve spent a lot of time rethinking my assumptions over the last few years. This was a focused effort to realign my priorities from the top down, and the driver for this was stepping back and thinking about the relativity of time.?

My oldest child is nine. That is bonkers. As a nine-year-old Dad, I’ve grown and learned a lot, and I’ve got a whole lot more to learn. One of the most important things, though, that parenting has delivered to me was a reframing of the concept of time. When lost in the moments of figuring it all out as kids are driving urgency in more ways than I can count, time gets lost. Days, months, years get lost in the chaotic shuffle of parenthood. And it’s not just parenthood – anything that impacts our ability to pause, breathe, and reflect on the direction we are heading can have that same impact.?

Own the Time vs. Being Owned by Time?

This is where the work of Daniel Kahneman, renowned psychologist and Nobel laureate in economics, becomes incredibly relevant. In his book, "Thinking, Fast and Slow," Kahneman introduces us to two systems of thinking:?

• System 1: This is our fast, intuitive, and emotional system. It's what allows us to make quick judgments and decisions, often based on instinct and past experiences. Think of the driver speeding down the road – likely reacting to a feeling of lateness or frustration.?

• System 2: This is our slower, more deliberate, and logical system. It's engaged when we solve complex problems, analyze information, and make conscious choices. Stepping back to reflect and analyze a situation requires System 2.?

The challenge is that our brains tend to default to System 1, the path of least resistance. This can lead to impulsive actions and poor decisions, especially when we're under pressure or feeling stressed. The feeling of urgency often triggers System 1, leading to reactive rather than strategic actions.?

Shifting Gears and Finding Focus?

That tailgating, reckless driver was caught up in the urgency of the moment, allowing the fast, intuitive System 1 thinking to take the wheel. This is something that can happen to any of us. This can lead us to make decisions that are not aligned with our long-term goals and values, much like the driver jeopardizing safety for a few minutes saved.?

By recognizing these tendencies within ourselves, we can begin to take control. We can all benefit from cultivating moments of mindfulness, which is something I do strive for everyday (though not always successful). This engages our System 2 and opens space to ask: "Why am I doing this? Is this truly important? Does this align with my overall goals?"?Key questions that can create the space to move from bad to good, and good to great.

By consciously shifting gears from reactive to reflective, we can break free from the tyranny of urgency. This allows us to reclaim our time, focus on what truly matters, and ultimately, steer our lives in a direction that leads to greater fulfillment and purpose.?

Last Thoughts?

I listened to an awesome conversation this week between Malcolm Gladwell and Adam Grant on the Work Life podcast. They talked through Gladwell’s new book, The Revenge of the Tipping Point, and why it’s important to examine our assumptions throughout life to learn more as we go. Definitely worth a listen if you want to make the time!??

Thank you, as always, for reading this far. If you did read this far, please consider recommending this newsletter to someone you think would appreciate it like you do.?

Thanks again and have a wonderful, time-appreciating weekend!?

Gerry?