Reciprocity is Good Until It Isn't

Reciprocity is essential for group function. It enables trades across time through informal IOUs - "Help me today, and I'll help you tomorrow." These IOUs exist because of trust between people, and in turn strengthen that trust.

This exchange forms the foundation of social contracts dating back to our earliest days: "You watch the children while I hunt." When these reciprocal agreements break down, trust erodes and group cohesion fails.

Humans are wired to feel obligation when receiving favors, even when none is expected. Once someone does something for you, the reciprocity scale tips, creating an uninvited debt.

IOUs can lead to poor decisions in several ways:

• They create unwanted relationships with favor-granters
• They may mask hidden motives, like the witch offering an apple in fairy tales
• Small favors can demand disproportionate repayment

Giving freely feels good and strengthens groups, improving everyone's chances of survival. Both giving and receiving can benefit all parties involved.

You can learn to give and receive effectively while recognizing manipulation attempts. Watch for strategic IOUs - they reveal themselves in the next request. Once granted, these favors create a sense of debt that can be exploited.