The Recipe for Caring Leadership: Lessons from a Chocolate Chip Cookie

Reflecting on 2024 about leadership and the lessons I want to embrace in 2025, I’m reminded of a story that began with a warm chocolate chip cookie—and how it inspired a moment with my team. Before I delve into details, let me share the essence for those of you who may be impatient. Caring leadership is like baking the perfect cookie. It’s about:

• Choosing the right “ingredients”: empathy, trust, consistency, and accountability.
• Adding those chocolate chips- a personal touch that makes people feel truly recognized.
• Consistency- figuring out the right mix of ingredients, temperature, and time in the oven to get the best outcome every time.
• Trying again to get that perfect balance between crunchy and soft when things don't turn out quite right.

A few years ago, I stayed at a DoubleTree Hilton in Poland during the middle of winter. By the time I returned after a long day, it was late in the evening, and I hadn’t had dinner. All the restaurants in the hotel were closed, and the only option I could think of was their signature warm chocolate chip cookie, which they offered to guests upon check-in. I asked for a second one at the reception, explaining my situation and even offering to pay for it, but they politely said no.

In that moment, I felt disheartened—not just because I was hungry, but because my need was met with rigid policy protocols instead of compassion. It reminded me that as leaders, we can sometimes unintentionally overlook the human element in processes and decision-making. We must remain attentive to addressing the real and immediate needs of others.

But the story didn’t end there. I shared my feedback with the hotel’s leadership team, and the next day, they went above and beyond. Not only did they provide me with a warm cookie, but they also gave me a big tin of cookies to take with me. This act of making things right showed me the power of emotional leadership—listening, acknowledging a mistake, and responding with care.

This experience stayed with me, and it came full circle recently when my wife and I baked home-made chocolate chip cookies together and shared them with colleagues in the office. For me, this gesture wasn’t just about sharing a treat—it was a symbol of the kind of leadership we strive to embody: one where people feel truly seen, valued, and cared for, even in the smallest ways.

My wife played a big role in this. Not only did she help bake the cookies, she’s been a constant source of support in my leadership journey. Her partnership—both in life and in this small gesture of baking together—reminds me that leadership isn’t just about what we do as individuals; it’s about the people we surround ourselves with. Her unwavering support and belief make me a better leader every day, and for that I am grateful.

Authentic leadership is about bringing empathy and humanity to every interaction. It’s about asking: Am I meeting my team’s needs, or am I too focused on processes that might leave them feeling unsupported?

As John C. Maxwell once said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

As we step into 2025, I’m carrying this reflection with me. Leadership isn’t just about grand gestures; it’s about the everyday moments that make people feel they matter. Sometimes, it’s as simple as offering the second cookie—or going the extra mile when you realize you should have.

As one happy cookie lover put it, 'Ask me how a cookie can break the ice and foster unexpected connections.' It’s not just about the cookie; it’s about the care, the intention, and the shared experience that come with it. Sometimes, the sweetest connections start with a simple bite.

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