While we typically handle positive feedback well, negative feedback is where most of us struggle. Here are a few tips that may help when receiving negative feedback:
- Stop our intuitive tendency to either reject or challenge the feedback. This tendency is what many of us know as “ego.” Ego for the most part wants to maintain status quo, which means there’s no possibility for learning or growth.
- Separate the who from the what that is being delivered. We tend to let our confirmation bias on who is delivering the message distort the value of the feedback.
- If we’re unsure about what we’re hearing, restate the feedback, or break it down and ask for clarification. Perhaps also seek for specificity and examples.?
- Ask for one or two things you could do to improve the situation, based on the perspective of the feedback provider.?
- Close out the feedback by saying, “Thank you for investing your time and interest in me.”
Remember that what is seemingly bad for us is often good enough for someone else or perhaps better or even best. Everything is relative. You are the captain of your ship. Your safe journey to your destination is your top priority. So use feedback as a helpful tool to navigate the water and the weather systems ahead of you.
Check out my previous article on how to give effective feedback.
I welcome your thoughts on receiving feedback.
Team Builder, Innovator, Author, Influencer
1 年While I agree with your premise, I could easily argue that the need for negative feedback is often caused by weak leadership accountablility. The real owness is on leaders to observe and provide constructive mentorship before negative feedback is necessary. That way you avoid the negative by framing a positive environment with trust at the core. I’ve had people on my team discuss issues that I know they would never share with another manager because I invested heavily in trust building. Reward is always more inspiring than punishment.
AI/ML Mystician & Leader | MS in CS | Stanford GSB | Scrum@Scale | CSPO? | CSM? | SAFe? Agilist | SAFe? Certified Adv SM
1 年A follow up question - what if the challenge is to get exact details on feedback? Most of the times, as leaders we are aware that every feedback which will be given or recieved to us or by us, would be in a politically correct fashion, balanced manner and not specific for obvious reasons. How can one overcome barriers in digging out details on the feedback?
Director Software Engineering
1 年Agree, Prakash! Receiving feedback, without being defensive of our own behavior, is indeed a challenge. I guess the key is to listen and let it soak and bake for a few days and let the mind take its own course.