Receiving Feedback with Finesse to help you stand out as a Leader Worth Following!

OK… So you just received some tough feedback from an employee.

It stings because you’ve been going above and beyond to support the team…

And now it can seem like your efforts aren’t being appreciated!

Feedback is an opportunity to improve RIGHT?!

Our rational mind might understand why it’s important but…

Receiving feedback is never comfortable.

BUT you already know this.

Because you spend so much time worrying about giving feedback to your employees in a way that will be well received.

And we rarely think about the flip side - how we can receive feedback effectively.

None the less… It’s an opportunity to get critical details about your impact that allows you to fine tune and get better results.

Often communication flows down, and the fact that it’s flowing up to you right now is a testament to the great work you’ve been doing.

Great job Leader!

This employee feels comfortable and cares enough about you to tell you the truth (instead of grumbling with other teammates behind your back).

So let’s talk about receiving feedback as a TRUE Leader.

Here’s the 5 steps I share with my clients to navigate receiving uncomfortable feedback while reinforcing their relationship with the employee ;)

Step 1 - Share Appreciation to Reinforce this Flow of Information

So if you value improving… You are going to need this critical intel on your biases and your blind spots.

It takes a lot of courage for an employee to give feedback to their superiors. No matter our relationship with them, giving us feedback if gone wrong could impact them in a variety of ways.

So acknowledge, appreciate and support your employee to set up the environment to optimize the flow of communication now and in the future.

Bottom line - Make it clear that you WANT to receive feedback.

Step 2 - Put Aside the Urge to Explain or Problem Solve

Because receiving information that doesn’t match with our perspective is uncomfortable… We feel the urge to move out of it quickly.

But when we explain or jump to problem solve, we are no longer listening.

This leaves the employee feeling unheard, misunderstood and like the risk (and the stress) of speaking up wasn’t worth it.

Listen to understand.

Respond for the purpose of conveying this understanding.

Step 3 - Ask Clarifying Questions to Go Deeper

So now, don’t assume you know what they mean! We tend to fill in the blanks with our interpretation.

So for example if you hear something like “I feel micro-managed” when you don’t see it that way at all because of your own past experiences of micro-managing or you are aware of your intent in your actions, it would be easy to dismiss this statement.

Instead, ask about their experience of “feeling micro-managed”

• When you feel micro-managed, what’s happening?
• How do you experience micro-managing?
• In those moments, what are you thinking about me or this situation?
• What do you think I’m missing that I should know about you or the team?
• If we were to do something different, what would you want/prefer?

Believe me, when you get a clear picture of the meaning, you’ll find gems in those answers that will help you easily tweak your approach.

This also helps the person feel heard, creates more trust and increases transparency.

Step 4 - Take time to Digest Feedback

Even if you feel clear after digging deeper, create some space. Feedback is not digested in one conversation.

When I do 360s with clients, we can take up to 5 sessions to digest and implement feedback.

So simply share your appreciation of their time, acknowledge that the feedback is valuable and that you want to dedicate time to take it in with the seriousness that their feedback deserves.

Sit with it.

Give yourself the gift to consider what this means to you.

Stay in the driver’s seat by knowing you can choose to accept, consider or reject any piece of this feedback.

Step 5 - Confirm How You are Going to use this Feedback

Your employee will be looking for evidence that you listened.

Implementing feedback is nuanced and usually progressive so it’s not always apparent to the employee AND THAT can leave them frustrated and even resentful when they don’t see the clear evidence.

So make sure you circle back and share how the feedback has impacted you and what you intend to do with it.

Bonus points if you update them on your implementation and you prompt them for more feedback!

Giving and Receiving Feedback is stressful and can go wrong in so many ways… That’s WHY I help leaders develop the critical skills to do this effectively!

Feedback is a big part of the work that I do with Managers and Executives…

AND here’s 3 reasons you might want to send me a DM Today…

1. Fine tune your practical EQ and upgrade your communication inside The Executive Edge program so that you can give and receive feedback with confidence.
2. Book your closed Effective Feedback Workshop within your organization to equip your leadership team with a people-centered approach (that minimizes emotional reactions while actually increasing performance and retention).
3. Breakthrough the next level of Leadership impact by capturing objective, powerful feedback with your Leadership Vital Signs 360 Assessment and Coaching package.

I’m rooting for you!

Your partner in Leading People First and building a culture that your employees rave about,

Melissa