Recapitulation, Part 1– Interweaving

SoDA hosted our annual, global member meetings in Mexico City last month, a tradition this community has honored since 2007. I returned exhausted and buzzing. What else would I expect? I live most of my days quietly tapping away on my computer in a coffee shop with closely managed energy cycles. This experience tends to pop one’s surge protector and leave one equally fried and electrified.

I had ambitions to write a thorough recap of the major themes, an analysis of the current market dynamics, and a synthesis of the strategies our members are using to navigate these uncertain times. But time got in the way. Or, rather, it didn’t. It vanished. I walked right through it like it wasn’t even there. A specter. And AI won’t write what I want to say. Not really.

We’re now more than a month removed but there’s still the afterimages. The memorable ones don’t fade so quickly. So rather than a proper recap, I decided to capture a few moments that were meaningful for me… moments that resonated with things that have been weighing on me lately. I’ve got 3-4 of these in mind but will begin with the first one.

Lizzie Shupak, the founding partner at Curve in London delivered our opening keynote. Lizzie is an incredible mind and spirit, and her work focuses on leadership, co-creation, and the dynamics of groups. Lizzie shared with us the concept of “facilitator leadership” and discussed several lenses through which to assess our opportunities, limitations, and roles as leaders. Lizzie pointed out that conventional leadership models aren’t up to the times we’re living in and that, “the way we are working, isn’t working.”

Some of this is a post-pandemic malaise. A general feeling of frantically wandering through the dense, dark forest and finally arriving in an open glade only to realize that you are exhausted and more lost than you’ve ever been. That kind of post-pandemic malaise.

But much of it, to my way of thinking, is the culmination of the times we find ourselves living in... growing economic and social insecurity (fear) + crippling personal isolation (loneliness) + never-ending waves of seemingly insurmountable global crises (hopelessness) + screen-fueled distraction (addiction) + rabid social division (tribalism) + a weird cocktail of narcissism and entitlement with just enough guilt mixed in to make us all edgy and almost always angry.

Many of us have simply burrowed more and more deeply into isolated pods of productivity, mere units of economic output without purpose, soul, or direction.

If the world around us is any indication, the way we are working isn’t working because it seems that the work we’ve been producing isn’t necessarily leading to a better way of being. Many of us have simply burrowed more and more deeply into isolated pods of productivity, mere units of economic output without purpose, soul, or direction.

While there is no shortage of leadership concepts and frameworks in which to search for answers, here are four simple (if somewhat reductive) ways to look at it. To lead from in front is a kind of visionary, messianic leadership. To lead from on top is a kind of alpha, command-and-control leadership. To lead from behind is a kind of humble, servant leadership. All, however, are grounded in heroism and inherently view the leader as one who is separated from or outside of the people they are ostensibly leading.? Lizzie points us to another way. To lead from within is facilitator leadership– a balance of sensing and doing with the express intention of actively interweaving people together, including yourself.

I was deeply struck by the term, interweaving. For me, connection has always been an important pursuit– authentic, meaningful connection. Connection is a series of nodes coming together at a single point. It’s the computer charging port bonded with magnetism. It’s the braids coming together in Avatar. It’s a hug. A handshake. A fist bump. It’s even the invisible waves enabling these words to wriggle across physical space to the Internet beyond. You plug in when you need to and then disengage when you’re ready to roll. Connection is vital. But it’s not always enough. ???

To lead from within is facilitator leadership– a balance of sensing and doing with the express intention of actively interweaving people together, including yourself.

Imagine, as a counterpoint, an artist weaving a basket from separate threads… up, over, under, around. Looping back on itself again and again. Strands merge into pieces. Pieces become sections. Sections bind together into a complete object. And instead of standing in front of, above, or behind the object as a detached orchestrator, the artist weaves also her own fingers, hands, wrists, arms, shoulders… her entire being into the creation. This is interweaving. And that, to me, seems more potent than mere connection.

What separates and isolates us makes us weaker. What interweaves us makes us stronger. That may be an easy enough bromide to swallow, but it’s much harder in action. ?

The next morning, one of our members embodied facilitator leadership and the concept of interweaving. Richenda Vermeulen is the founder of ntegrity in Melbourne, a marketing services studio focused on non-profits and cause-related initiatives. Like most of us in the business, she wrestles with pricing pressure and cost structures to keep her agency profitable. And, like most of us in the business, her existing model is under stress. Even though she’s located on the rim of Asia, she inherently balked at readily available solutions for outsourcing via near-shoring or off-shoring operations.

Instead of succumbing to a sort of devil’s bargain, she decided to lead from within by finding talented individuals in Pakistan, Indonesia, India, and the Philippines. She searched for, evaluated, and hired them directly, invested in their professional growth, and fully integrated them into the team. The new hires have strengthened her agency’s capabilities, deeply enriched their company culture, and delivered a more balanced operating model. They weren’t merely “connected” to the organization via an outsourcing contract. It wasn’t a transactional move. It was an intentional decision. One that sought strength in bringing people together. That’s interweaving. That’s facilitator leadership. And Richenda offered, for me, a palpable example of it in action.

Michael Ventura added further dimensions in his session, Leading With Empathy. There are few words in the modern leadership lexicon that are more overused, misunderstood, and poorly applied than “empathy.” The term is positioned equally as a blunt instrument and an ethereal sprinkling of fairy dust.? In fact, I’ve grown to dislike the term almost as much as the usage of phrases that urge us to “be more human.” As if there is any shred of our being and experience that isn’t fundamentally human. How can you be more than what you completely and irrevocably are?

Michael, however, is a thoughtful and brilliant man. He founded and sold an incredible design studio (Sub Rosa… now SSR) and wrote a practical manual for leadership (and life) called, Applied Empathy. Michael reminded us that “empathy” is not coded language for being nice or a good person. It’s also not the same as compassion. It’s not an emotion that just arises. And it’s not easy or neutral.

Empathy is the development of a kind of keen awareness and understanding of the other that can be used to navigate the complexity of emotions, communication, and interactions more effectively. Yes, empathy might come more naturally to some people, but it is fundamentally a learned skill that must be practiced and developed.

The practice of empathy begins with cultivating a better understanding of yourself and the baggage with which you travel. Michael used a great analogy to help us tune into this– the difference between “climate” and “weather.” In this framework, climate is akin to the embedded beliefs, fears, attitudes, and experiences we bring into a moment. Climate isn’t the moment itself but plays a significant role in the moment’s arising and trajectory. Weather relates to the specific circumstances, relationships, events, and actions that define the moment itself. Without a keen sense of both the climate and the weather, we are unable to navigate, with empathy, the messy territory between what is meant, what is said, and what is heard or understood.

The practice of empathy begins with cultivating a better understanding of yourself and the baggage with which you travel.

Michael offered many other valuable insights, tools, and suggestions but I’ll stop here. The long and short of it is that empathy is not a feeling or an emotional response. It’s action. It’s hard work. It’s almost always uncomfortable. And, practically speaking, it’s a necessary condition for interweaving.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about connection and understanding as critical ingredients for how I try to show up in the world. For me, they are both important and laudable ideas to pursue. Foundational even. As I’ve sat with and reflected on the words from Lizzie, Michael, and Richenda, I’ve realized a few important things.

First, I am more distressed and tired than I want to admit. Most times, I fancy myself to be a high-energy, optimistic, and buoyant person. But the last few years have a taken a toll on me and this year has been particularly tough.* It's not even crisis mode as much as a vague but looming sense of dread that the foundation has been compromised... a subtle fear that what has pulled me through in the past may no longer be up to the task. I'm deeply concerned about the growing ways in which we're becoming more isolated and disconnected from the intentions and outcomes of our work. I don't like to admit that. And I don't have any answers.

Second, there are few things of substance that can be truly understood unless they are practiced. Yes, some ideas are revolutionary and transformative in and of themselves. But for most mortals like me, ideas are merely information until they can become embodied wisdom. If reflection doesn’t lead to practice and action, I tend to settle into a safe, smug, and useless state of conceptual understanding. And because I am so disconnected today, the vast bulk of my “learning” is the screen-based consumption of words and pictures. I have access to more knowledge than at any time in the history of our species and yet practice and embody so little of what I know.

Third, I’m struck by the way I tend to be most preoccupied with strategies and decisions instead of behaviors and actions. I’ll cut myself some slack here since this is, to some extent, the job description. But I can’t help but think that I’ve often got it backward. That I should begin with right practice and right action and let the appropriate strategies and decisions emerge from there. The desired state of being for us as individuals and organizations is both the means and the end. The economics of it flow from there.

There is no doubt we are living in heavy and uncertain times. Many of us looking for directions, maps, compasses, sextants, smoke signals… anything to help us navigate the way forward. I’m as lost as anyone, but the idea of “interweaving” reminds me to focus on what’s nearest to me, to get out of my head, and to find the way forward in practices that cultivate a more sustainable way of being.

Thank you to Lizzie, Richenda and Michael for sharing your wisdom
with us. It impacted me and many others in attendance. I'll also
point out that these are my personal reflections and not intended to
be an accurate summary of the depth and brilliance of their work.         

* I am hyper-conscious that labeling my year as "tough", relative to global conditions, is laughable. This article is nothing more than a reflection on my personal experience and is not intended to be a comment on comparative suffering. I consider myself lucky and am deeply grateful for the life I've been given.