Recalibrating for Growth

In my first year of university my organizational behavior professor introduced us to the Mirror Test, a litmus test for ethical behavior in business and life. Ethics and leadership theories are complicated but his test was simple; when you look in the mirror, are you happy with the person staring back at you?

Six years out of school I’ve been feeling the need for a rigorous self-evaluation. The combination of a global pandemic, moving countries and career planning had culminated into a need for change. Specifically, I wanted to improve across three domains:

• Family and Friends: how can I deepen my relationships with those that matter most?
• Routine and Habits: what daily habits should I reform to maximize productivity?
• Business and Career: who do I want to be, and what skills and traits am I missing?

Family and Friends

The pandemic has been a sobering reminder that life is unpredictable and short. Combining that with being away from home for two years, I’ve doubled down on deepening my relationships with the people that matter most. Relationships take time and I don’t want to regret any lack of effort, or leave anything left unsaid.

Community: my formative years were spent in East Chinatown sitting in my mom’s skin care salon. I was raised by this community - local shop owners, math teachers, other mothers we called auntie. When I moved back to Toronto I went to visit these people and one lady cried re-telling a story of me driving her to the doctors. It was a simple task for me but one she dreaded because of the paperwork and driving. The interaction made me numb, and was a stark reminder of who I should aspire to be. Work hard and be someone your friends, family and community can be proud of.

Siblings: over the last few years my three siblings and I lived in different cities. As you get older, you’re exposed to different people and ideas and it’s easy to stick to your own devices. Even more so when you’re physically distant and there’s a disagreement. I love my siblings and they aren’t going anywhere - once that became my bottom line, any differences or disagreements fade away.

Mom: Mom is getting older and that can be easy to overlook as I build my career and life. My focus was always to help with finances, but I’ve realized it’s not about that at all. Showing respect, calling, walks and visits - the correct currency is care and time, not money. I’m still working on it, but I owe her much more than what I could ever give in dollars.

Health, Diet and Routine

I watched Pete Souza’s documentary as a White House photographer and was amazed at how demanding the President’s role was. Watching him navigate crisis after crisis while balancing his family and health made me rethink my own habits and routine.

The documentary prompted me to extrapolate and read the daily habits of other people I aspired to emulate: Tim Cook, Jocko Willink, Bob Iger, Ruth Ginsberg, Kobe Bryant, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett. I wanted to understand what they did to operate at a high level, commonalities between their routines, and to test which habits made sense for me. After a few iterations, below are some of my takeaways:

Exercise: I needed to be more consistent and decisive on my approach to exercise. I’ve since moved my weekday workouts to 5:45AM and use an app ($5/month vs. a $40/hour personal trainer) to tell me what I need to do and reduce decision fatigue. Morning workouts ground my weekdays, while weekends are reserved for bigger workouts that allow for recovery.

Sleep: Optimizing sleep means better rest and more productivity during the workday. I’ve deleted unnecessary apps from my phone, target 6-7 hours each night and hydrate before and after sleep. Making a to-do list for the next morning and taking 30 minutes to wind down before bed has also helped to improve how quickly I fall asleep.

Listen to your body: After a small health scare, I’ve minimized coffee, alcohol and sweets and have leaned towards healthier snacks and energy boosters. I’ve also been paying more attention to what my body is telling me. When I feel tired midday, I probably need water or a snack. If I’m hitting a wall on a problem or task, a quick walk helps to clear my mind. And if I want to sleep in, miss a workout or indulge, I should do so as needed. Identifying and addressing subtle symptoms encourages longevity and higher productivity.

Business and Learning

In the formative years of a career, most milestones can be achieved in 6-18 month sprints. But developing mastery, substance and results require more time and conscious development. It also requires colleagues and mentors that can identify your blind spots and be honest enough to call them out. Below are some of the few areas I hope to improve

Think different, think big: I was responding to a RFP and the client platform showed all of the competitors that were responding to the same request. There must have been 20 high-profile names. I had the immediate epiphany of how dreadful it must be as a client to hear the same pitch 20 times, and I’ve since been maniacally focused on pushing myself and my teams to think differently. The obvious answer is rarely the right one, and going through the motions will never give you a differentiated solution. Take the time to exceed client expectations, and if you lose, maintain the optimism and intensity to keep going.

Be multilingual: the world is moving at warp speed and leaders are becoming “multilingual”. CEOs are learning about IT devops, CFOs are embracing sustainability, and CIOs are leading mergers and acquisitions. To develop scale and influence, it’s not enough to have mastery in one domain. Whether it’s a free venture capital class on Youtube or a negotiation class on Masterclass, the world has become infinitely resourceful and I need to spend the time to thoughtfully and intentionally learn. Curate the syllabus and treat it like a school course.

Slow down: talk less, think more, and measure over the long-term. I’ve been guilty of behaving otherwise and have realized it’s mostly a youthful trait stemmed from a desire to be right. Focus on the end goal and enjoy the process.

Conclusion                             

In summary, I’ve spent some time reflecting and identifying areas for self-improvement. By focusing on relationships, optimizing daily habits, and consciously learning, I hope to become the best possible version of myself over the next few years.

In your 20’s you want to change the world

In your 30’s you want to change your country

In your 40’s you want to change your family

In your 50’s you want to change yourself

My mom left me with that one day and I’ve realized that she was describing how people can get the process wrong. The better approach is to do it backwards: start by improving yourself, and work your way through life until you develop the skills, scars and experience to be impactful. And as the process unfolds, periodically look into the mirror and check if you’re proud of the person staring back.