Rebuilding from Within: How Time Off Led to My Strongest Self

My story is not unlike many other Americans in the workforce. Over 52% of Americans are reported to struggle with one or more chronic illnesses. My illness eluded doctors for nearly 30 years until it progressed enough to impact my wellness and work abilities and force me onto a different path. When I received the email that I was let go for health-related issues, overwhelming thoughts flooded my mind, shrouding me in uncertainty. I can still remember the feeling of my heart jumping into my throat seemingly leaving a gaping hole in my chest. Curiously enough, almost immediately after the shock set in, I heard an inner voice tell me that this wasn’t happening to me, it was happening for me. Somehow still in shock, I felt a seed of calm take root and decided to follow this hidden intuition inside me.

At a local non-profit that was understaffed and overworked, I noticed how my colleagues and I were sacrificing ourselves for an organization that praised our efforts but rarely offered the support we needed. In a way, I think we all grew to love our jobs because we had learned to support each other through the adrenaline of short-notice deadlines, increasing responsibilities, and little supervision that we had received. We were all learning alongside each other and becoming family along the way. Unfortunately, this is the story at many local non-profits. This was my story, and I internalized it until my body could not keep up with the demands of the constantly increasing responsibilities that fell upon me.

In situations like this, it’s easy to feel like a victim. When you finally have a moment to breathe, the workplace trauma you’ve endured often catches up with you. Let me tell you, fight or flight is real. If you know, you know. Once your body understands you’re in a safe place, the defenses you’ve built up over time start to unravel. Suddenly, the emotions you had been pushing aside- fear, anger, sadness- come rushing to the surface, demanding acknowledgment. There were days I was overcome by the ghost of old wounds and frightened by the lack of control I had over the outcome of my situation. I grappled with the vulnerability that comes with truly feeling everything I had been suppressing. But in those moments, I realized I wasn’t just re-experiencing the pain of what transpired, I was also giving myself permission to let go of it.

In these early moments of safety, every possible feeling of victimhood visited me: shame, powerlessness, loss of control, and self-blame. It’s important to note that it’s human nature to want to avoid these immense emotions, but the only way out is through. I did not expect to endeavor through the stages of grief, but in so many ways I kept coming back to this all too familiar feeling that I never truly respected or understood.

After a much longer period of having been affected by the shock of how things turned out with my would-be career, I began to settle back into my body and visit the “here and now” more and more frequently. I began to uncover themes about myself that I had underestimated, yet they profoundly controlled the direction and magnitude of my life’s trajectory. It’s impossible to understand how little I had thought about these themes yet how profoundly they controlled the direction and magnitude of my life’s trajectory.

Here are the 3 most important lessons I learned in my time away from hustle culture and relentless office grind.

1. Your narrative determines your trajectory.

This lesson is about owning your story and understanding that your perception can either empower you to transform challenges into opportunities or it can paralyze you with fear of success. By shifting your perception and embracing a more positive narrative, you open the door to approach proactive decision-making that aligns with your goals, turning what once seemed insurmountable into achievable milestones. Having worked in the mental health industry, I have learned that negative self-talk can take a small problem and turn it into a significant hurdle.

While our experiences shape us, they don’t define us. For instance, overcoming a setback doesn’t just build resilience- it reveals strengths you might not have known you possessed. These newly discovered strengths lay the foundation for a clearer vision for your future. With this clarity, you can begin to envision a path forward that aligns with your true potential. However, if you do not truly believe you deserve what you envision, securing your place within it becomes an uphill battle. A great place to start taking steps toward empowering yourself is by evaluating where you are and where you’d like to find yourself.

Embracing a positive narrative is just the first step- consistent reinforcement through daily practice is essential. This is where tools like affirmations come into play- solidifying newfound positive perceptions and opening doors to new possibilities. Affirmations, when practiced regularly, can help rewire your brain by creating new neural pathways- fostering a resilient mindset that leads to lasting change. Whether your beliefs originated from you or you’ve heard them so much you’ve begun to believe them, evaluating if those beliefs benefit you will shape everything you attempt in your life and how you perceive the things that happen to you.

Start by identifying a belief that’s holding you back- ask yourself where it comes from and whether it is truly serving you. Then, consciously replace it with an affirmation that reflects the reality you wish to create. To truly change your trajectory, you must actively reshape your narrative through daily practice that reinforces your newfound beliefs and breaks the cycle of outdated, limited beliefs. By transforming my narrative, I’ve developed a stronger sense of self. This shift has helped me cultivate the resilience and clarity needed to reenter and excel in demanding environments with greater confidence and determination.

As you reflect on your own narrative, ask yourself: What story are you telling, and how is it shaping your future? Remember, the power to rewrite your story- and your trajectory- rests in your hands but requires consistent action and unwavering belief in your potential.

2. Small consistent steps lead to substantial outcomes.

At the beginning of my departure from the routine of 9–5, I was overwhelmed by a profound sense of purposelessness and directionlessness. It felt like I was living in the void. Moving from a highly stressful work environment to a lack of well… anything was disorienting, to say the least.

As I grappled with feelings of purposelessness, I realized that waiting for direction wasn’t an option. I began with small, manageable tasks that restored my confidence and energized me to take on more challenging goals. Reflecting on the myth of Sysiphus, I realized that the key to overcoming my struggles lay not in the task themselves, but in the mindset that I brought to them. This insight led me to explore the importance of discipline in my journey.

Embracing discipline required a shift in my perspective. I first needed to believe that I deserved the rewards of my efforts. By challenging my inner voice and changing my narrative, I committed to small changes that gradually transformed my outlook, drive, and vitality.

Throughout my professional experiences, I learned that perfectionism, while often seen as a virtue, can lead to cycles of guilt, shame, and burnout.

Letting go of perfectionism allowed me to dismantle unseen roadblocks I had built for myself, freeing me to move forward without the burden of unrealistic expectations. The allure of perfection can leave us feeling deflated and unable to conceptualize the path forward if we don’t immediately see the fruits of our labor. “Practice makes perfect” is a popular quote stemming from the Latin proverb “Use maketh mastery”. Bruce Lee added to this concept offering “After a long time of practicing, our work will become natural, skillful, swift, and steady. From this, we can see that anything worth having is worth doing and doing so with complete conviction.

The next step in grounding myself in true discipline was believing in myself unequivocally. Belief in yourself is not just the foundation for change; it’s the catalyst that turns small steps into significant progress. By nurturing this belief through positive affirmations and disciplined action, I was able to transform my outlook and, ultimately my life.

Initially, I felt held hostage by my chronic illness with no other option than to make meaningful changes. Trying to make all of the changes at once proved unsustainable and demoralizing. Instead, I moved into starting my day with small, meaningful practices- like joyful movement, a nutritional breakfast, and time for reflection. These simple daily rituals became non-negotiable. As I embraced these practices, I felt a deep love and appreciation for myself. This connection empowered me to continue more sustainably with a deeper assurance that lasting change was possible.

As I became more in tune with what changes had the biggest impact, my vitality began to skyrocket. I found myself tackling more difficult tasks and dreaming of bigger possibilities that I hadn’t considered before. My outlook had transformed. I finally understood that all possibilities are open to you if you are open to them.

By internalizing the inherent value of small, consistent steps, I discovered that the path to personal mastery is less about grand gestures and more about the daily discipline of pushing my rock up the mountain with gladness. Each step, however small, was a victory in itself, paving the way for greater achievements.

3. The strength you need is within you.

In a world dominated by trends and influencers, tuning into your inner wisdom can feel disconcerting. With so many external voices, it’s easy to get lost in the noise, swayed by what’s popular rather than what’s true to you. Yet in such a landscape, quiet certainty becomes valuable- serving as a compass guiding you towards choices that align with your authentic self, rather than the fleeting whims and folly of the outside world.

Authentic empowerment comes from understanding the sovereignty you hold over your life. In a world full of distractions, it’s essential to be mindful of where you direct your energy and what you allow to take residence in your mind. Sovereignty isn’t just about making decisions; it’s about consciously choosing where to focus your attention and how to invest your emotional and mental resources. Every choice you make and every thought you entertain, either brings you closer to fulfillment or pulls you further from it.

In moments of reflection, I was deeply transformed by the realization of how much I had been defining myself by past experiences and how much power I had unknowingly surrendered by viewing myself as a victim of circumstance. These reflections became powerful teachers and an unexpected medicine, revealing that the very situations or people who once made me feel oppressed could also be pathways to liberation. This shift in perspective brought moments of clarity and transcendence, unlocking the cage that I had been unwittingly living in for far too long.

True strength, I’ve learned, surpasses simply moving on from personal wounds with a head held high. It’s about understanding that every encounter is a mirror, reflecting our true nature and the areas available to us for growth and new potential. I began to see how some pursuits and attachments drained my vitality, while others enriched my life.

Are you holding onto outdated beliefs or investing in relationships that no longer serve your highest potential? By consciously choosing what to nurture and what to release, you reclaim the power to shape your life according to your deepest desires. Embracing your humanity- and your vulnerabilities- is what makes you truly strong. When uncertainty arises, trust in your capacity to endure, adapt, and grow. Investing your energy in these principles is something you’ll never regret.

Considering All Things…

I am incredibly proud of the growth I‘ve achieved within myself and the leaps I’ve made in such a short period of self-discovery. I began this journey carrying the baggage of doubt, fear, and uncertainty. Now I stand here empowered, self-confident, and eager to reconnect with the world in ways I hadn’t known possible just over a year ago.

My hope for you, the reader is to understand that we all- yes, you too- have an inner dialogue that shapes the outer world that we perceive. I want to empower you to audit your own thoughts and actions and consider whether they truly align with what you want from life. This experience has been priceless in its lessons and abundant in its rewards. I can only hope that you, too, will experience the profound transformation that I’ve been fortunate enough to encounter within myself.

This journey is waiting for you, welcoming you with open arms of understanding and compassion. Your inner strength is calling… will you answer?

Alyssa is now in recovery from her chronic illness due to many hours of research, compassionate care from holistic providers, and committing to the practice of taking small, manageable steps each day. The practice she has developed in her time away from the office has profoundly prepared her to reenter the workforce with new gusto. It is her goal to share her new insights and uplift others who struggle with chronic illness and PTSD.

If you’re facing mental health challenges, consider reaching out to NAMI for support and resources available nationwide.