Rebuilding After Burnout: Lessons from the Edge

Burnout doesn’t announce itself with fireworks or fanfare. It creeps in quietly, like a slow leak in a tire you don’t notice until the car won’t move. One day, you’re managing everything—emails, deadlines, meetings, and family life. The next, even the simplest task feels insurmountable. For me, burnout wasn’t a dramatic breakdown; it was a gradual unraveling that left me questioning not just my work but my sense of self.

As someone who has been self-employed since my daughter was born, I’ve carried a deep sense of responsibility—not just to her but to myself. I’m also a lone parent, so every decision, every project, and every paycheck carries weight. For a long time, I believed that pushing harder and doing more was the only way to succeed. It wasn’t until I found myself teetering on the edge that I realized just how unsustainable that mindset was.

This is the story of how I hit the edge, why it happened, and what I learned in the process of rebuilding. If you’ve ever felt like you were running on empty—or you’re seeing the warning signs in someone else—I hope this resonates.

The Descent: From Busy to Broken

I was raised by parents who exemplified strong work ethics. My dad passed away when I was still young—21 years ago—but I’ll always remember how hard he worked, right until the end. My mum was the same. She was a force of nature, working until the morphine took over during her final days. That determination and resilience were deeply ingrained in me, and for a long time, I saw rest as indulgence. Success, I thought, was about how much you could endure.

When my mum passed away four years ago, it hit me far harder than I anticipated—far harder than losing my dad. It felt like losing my anchor, my role model, and my biggest cheerleader all at once. But life doesn’t pause for grief, and as a self-employed parent, I felt I didn’t have the luxury of stopping. So, I buried the pain, threw myself into work, and tried to hold it all together.

But grief and stress are heavy things to carry. At first, the cracks were small: sleepless nights, missed meals, and an ever-growing sense of overwhelm. Then, one day, it all came crashing down. I remember sitting at my desk, staring at an email I couldn’t bring myself to open. I wasn’t just tired—I was completely depleted.

The Wake-Up Call: When Stopping Feels Impossible

Admitting I was burnt out wasn’t easy. Burnout carries a stigma—especially when you’re self-employed. There’s this idea that you have to keep going, no matter what. If you stop, the work stops. And if the work stops, what then?

But my body didn’t give me a choice. The constant headaches, racing thoughts, and sense of dread were impossible to ignore. My grief, which I had tried to suppress, demanded to be felt. I realized that if I didn’t stop and take care of myself, I wouldn’t be able to take care of anyone else—not my daughter, not my clients, and certainly not me.

Stopping felt like failure at first. But in hindsight, it was the bravest decision I’ve ever made.

The Rebuilding: Finding Balance, Slowly

Recovery wasn’t linear. There were no quick fixes or shortcuts, just a slow process of rebuilding. Here’s what worked for me, and what I believe can help anyone teetering on the edge:

1. Permission to Rest: Growing up, rest wasn’t something I saw modeled often, but I had to learn that rest isn’t weakness—it’s essential. I started small: taking breaks during the day, walking outside, and giving myself permission to feel my grief instead of running from it.
2. Reconnecting with Purpose: When burnout and grief collide, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. For me, reconnecting with my “why”—being present for my daughter and creating work that I’m proud of—helped me find clarity.
3. Boundaries Became My Best Friend: As a lone parent and business owner, saying no felt impossible. But I learned that boundaries aren’t barriers—they’re acts of self-respect. I set limits around work hours, client expectations, and even social commitments, which gave me the space to heal.
4. Small Wins, Not Big Goals: I stopped measuring my worth by how much I accomplished in a day and started celebrating small wins. Some days, that win was simply cooking dinner or reading with my daughter. Those moments mattered.
5. Leaning on Others: I’ve always prided myself on being independent, but burnout taught me the value of connection. Leaning on friends, family, and even professional support reminded me that I didn’t have to carry everything alone.

Lessons for Employers: The Role of Work in Burnout

Burnout isn’t just a personal issue; it’s a workplace issue. While individuals can take steps to recover, employers have a critical role to play in prevention. Here are some lessons for organisations:

1. Recognise the Signs Early: Leaders need to be trained to spot burnout—declining performance, disengagement, or uncharacteristic behaviour—and address it with empathy, not judgment.
2. Create a Culture of Balance: Normalise taking breaks, using annual leave, and disconnecting after hours. When leaders model this behaviour, it sets the tone for the entire organisation.
3. Open the Conversation: Stigma around burnout prevents people from seeking help. Create an environment where employees feel safe talking about stress and mental health without fear of repercussions.
4. Support the Whole Person: Offer resources like counselling, flexible schedules, or even grief support. Life doesn’t stop at work, and neither should our care for employees.

Where I Am Now: A Life Rebalanced

It’s been a long journey, and I won’t pretend I have it all figured out. But I’m in a better place. I’ve learned that balance isn’t about perfection—it’s about making space for what matters. Some days, that’s meeting a deadline. Other days, it’s sitting with my daughter and just being present.

Burnout taught me that it’s okay to stop, to rest, and to rebuild. It’s okay to grieve and to grow. And it’s okay to ask for help.

If you’re feeling burnt out, know this: you’re not alone. There’s a way back, and it starts with a single step. And if you’re an employer, remember this: supporting people isn’t just good for them—it’s good for business. Healthy, balanced individuals create thriving teams.

Burnout is tough, but it’s also a teacher. It taught me to slow down, to value myself, and to lead with empathy. I hope it teaches us all to create spaces—at work and in life—where burnout isn’t the norm but balance is.

After all, when we care for ourselves and each other, that’s when we truly thrive.