Rebellion Within

“A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.” (Ambrose Bierce)

Radiating confidence is truly about knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are in YOUR roles that you must accomplish throughout the days and periods in your life, as a person, as a parent, as a professional, and as a friend to those around us. The most comfortable that we can ever be is when you are being your genuine and true self and working within the areas where you know your strengths and limitations. If you are not a strong swimmer you may be fine and confident in the pool where you can touch the bottom, but you will be less confident in your abilities if you are thrown in the middle of a lake. The true "Air" of confidence comes when you know, within yourself, that you are on solid and stable footing in the situations that you are presented with.

Mark Twain once said, "We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess." This is the basis for the insecurities that we all face from time to time. Rather than dealing from a solid base of knowledge and confidence within, many would rather try to show how much they think the audience believes they should know. It's a pure fallacy to ever believe that saying a strong confident, "I'm sorry - I don't know," to a direct question, will diminish the respect that others have for you. It only increases it. In dealing with children, and peers you can offer to learn it together. When approaching superiors, or clients you can offer to pull in an expert you know or tell them how quickly you can get the answer. With others, you have the choice of learning something new if you are interested in the subject. Never allow yourself to be placed, by another, into a position where your own self esteem will be at risk for their own gain.

Approaching life in that genuine of a manner, and knowing what is within your powers, begins to show us the difference between "Drive" and "Ambition." Ambition will steer you into action following an ethereal and changing version of what society calls "Success," but since success is a moveable target arbitrarily defined by others, it can usually seem to be unattainable. What levels do you have to reach to become a "Success," and then, as seen through who's eyes?

True “Drive” on the other hand is what people have when they want to move forward in their lives, careers, and knowledge. Drive does not concern itself with “Stuff.” It doesn’t care about your car, or your house, your social circles, or your clothes. Drive looks at the "next" goal, and you move towards it with the talents and knowledge that you possess today, and in moving forward you acquire the knowledge and skills needed to accomplish the goals. This may present itself in a multitude of ways, but it really comes down to Learning what you need to know to accomplish the next step, regardless of whether anyone else's idea of it’s difficulty. This philosophy has existed throughout the ages stated in different ways. Marcus Aurelius said in Meditations, "Because your own strength is unequal to the task, do not assume that it is beyond the powers of man; but if anything is within the powers and province of man, believe that it is within your own compass also." Anyone can accomplish almost anything... Being driven enough to accomplish Your goals (whether for your own sake, or for the benefit of others) will always yield the true self-confidence of finishing what you set out to do, regardless of how large or small the feat.

Please remember, "What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what your duty is, better than you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the real person is one who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of self." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

There are many times when being an “Individual” is frowned upon in society in general. Being different, thinking differently, and acting differently is frightening to the fragile egos of those who are concerned with Ambition, Status, and appearances over substance and being genuine. I've fallen into that trap myself many times, for many reasons, and sometimes it takes a serious wake-up call to get back out of that hole. I’m not saying that you should walk into a board meeting in a Kilt, Leather Jacket, and a Purple Mohawk, that may work for the Dropkick Murphy’s, but not in most instances in Corporate America. What I’m saying is that while you are making your audience comfortable with the way you approach them, it’s fine to dress and speak in the vernacular of those present, but when you speak, speak from who you truly are, not from where you think they expect you to be. Always remember to be honorable within yourself, and genuine with those around you while you are driven towards those goals that you want to accomplish. It is a true recipe for accomplishment (Notice I didn't say Success) Long Term, both within yourself, and to the world at large.

Be who YOU truly are, with the strengths, weaknesses, foibles, and insecurities that we all carry, and walk the streets knowing that you are driven today to accomplish the next thing you set out to do, and your demeanor will change. You will know that the strengths that you possess will carry you forward, and that the weaknesses you have will never be controlled by another to pull you back. The only way to truly have an air of confidence to the world, and have them believe it, accept it, and understand it, is when it is truly overflowing from within you, for REAL.