Reasons Why Advice Is Ignored by Employees

The following article is a translation of an article previously published in Japanese on the Toyo Keizai website.

In the workplace, advice and feedback from superiors and managers to team members are indispensable. However, despite providing advice with good intentions, many managers may find it frustrating that their messages don't seem to get through to the team members.

When giving advice or feedback, it's essential to consider the recipient's situation and assess whether they are in a state to receive and accept the advice. In other words, the key is adopting a "recipient-centered" approach.

For example, when you want to address a certain behavior that needs improvement and the recipient is not in a state to receive it, your advice may be perceived as a threat, and it might not be well-received. In such cases, it's better to postpone the discussion to another time, saying something like, "Let's talk about this tomorrow instead." By giving them time and preparing how to convey the feedback effectively, you might achieve better results.

What does it mean when we say the recipient is not in a state to receive the feedback?

There are times when people cannot accept feedback

For example, when the recipient is emotionally strained or feeling down, giving them harsh feedback might make them feel invalidated, lower their psychological safety, and lead them to close themselves off emotionally.

In such situations, it's best to be gentle with the recipient or ask, "Is something bothering you? If you want to talk, I'm here for you". It's essential to first help them regain their emotional stability.

Also, when the recipient lacks certain skills, they might not be in a state to receive feedback. Even if you tell them not to repeat the same mistake again, if they don't possess the necessary skills for the task, they won't be able to change, and the mistakes might keep happening.

Continuous mistakes can create a rift in mutual trust and affect psychological safety negatively. In such cases, the first thing to do is to support the recipient in acquiring the skills needed to perform the job without errors.

Timing from a long-term perspective

Another scenario could be that there's a team member whom you want to see more active, but they seem uninterested. You suggested that they take the promotion exam, but they responded indifferently, saying, "I'm not that ambitious, so I don't want to take the promotion exam." Or, when you tried to recommend them for a project lead role, they declined. Many managers find such attitudes from team members frustrating.

In such situations, jumping to conclusions like, "Even though I've been supporting them, they lack motivation. They're ungrateful," doesn't show respect for the team member. To understand why the team member rejected the manager's suggestion, it's necessary to ask and communicate. Perhaps the team member is currently unable to focus on work due to family issues, or they might prioritize personal life over career advancement. In that case, for the team member, it's simply not the right timing.

It's also important to assess whether the team member is interested in discussing their career. Some people might not be interested in career discussions or have any concerns. For someone who diligently works but plans to leave the company in a few years, asking, "Where do you see yourself in ten years?" might only impose unwanted career advice and create negative pressure.

Or, they might suspect there's some hidden agenda behind such a question, like whether they're being considered for a transfer or being pushed to quit, which could jeopardize their psychological safety. That's not the intention.

Even if someone currently has no interest in their career, situations can change, and people's feelings can change. While they may not be very committed to their work due to certain reasons now, with time, circumstances might change, and they might want to pursue new challenges in their career.

"I understand. It's not the right timing for you to take the promotion exam due to family circumstances. Let's talk about this again next term when things have settled with your family."

What managers should be aware of is not necessarily expressing what they want to say but conveying it at the right timing for the recipient, which is when the recipient is prepared to accept it.

Understanding and practicing communication that empathizes with the recipient's situation play a significant role in ensuring psychological safety in the workplace.

Assessing "coachable" timing

In the world of coaching, there's a term called "coachable". It refers to a person being in a state where they are open to actively receiving coaching support to move closer to their ideal state and have the ability to change to achieve that ideal state.

Before giving advice or feedback, managers need to assess whether the recipient is "coachable" or not. When the recipient is not in a coachable state, even if you say, "What are your future plans? Let's have a 1-on-1," it will end up being unproductive.

As I mentioned earlier, people's situations are constantly changing, but if managers engage with their team members with curiosity and focus, they can notice even subtle changes and sense when it's a coachable timing.

For example, if a manager feels that a team member seems troubled, they can initiate a conversation with, "You don't seem to be in high spirits. Is something bothering you?" Only through such an exchange, the manager can offer support when the team member says, "Actually, I'm not doing well with that particular matter. Can you lend an ear to my concerns?" The timing when the team member has reached the state they want to achieve and actively seeks advice is the coachable timing.

When you convey feedback or advice at the right timing for the recipient, they are more likely to perceive it as essential information coming from the manager. As a result, their behavior is adjusted, leading to improved individual and team performance.

People naturally trust those who provide information at appropriate times and recognize them as significant figures in their lives. Managers who can wait until their team members are emotionally prepared can build a foundation of trust and elevate workplace psychological safety.

This article is a reference to my Japanese book “心理的安全性 最強の教科書”?- "Psychological safety. The guide to high performing teams"