this is the reason your "why" isn't getting you better results

A common word of advice to stay motivated is to “focus on your why.” It doesn’t really matter the goal, it’s often said, if your why is strong enough, you’ll find the strength to stay the course, be persistent and overcome any obstacle.

But is that true? I’ve been wondering lately if that advice is really working for people.

When I asked this question on a LinkedIn post, one comment was that “whys” could feel heavy. I thought this was so interesting. Can a why feel like a burden? How does a heavy burden help us move forward?

Another person said her why was quite simple (to work from home and hang out with her cat) and she’d rather focus on taking action toward making that happen instead of focusing on why.

So, why is it that focusing on your "why" doesn’t work? I believe it comes down to the way our brains serve us.

It’s said that we’ll do more to avoid pain than experience pleasure. That makes sense because our brains are wired for comfort, familiarity and survival. A why built around something painful which we want to get away from would be a force for change – movement away from the pain.

And that may work in the short term. It could be the rocket that launches you toward something new. The initial drive you need to take a risk on a new business, relationship or goal.

But a “why” that is focused on what you don’t want will have you thinking about … You got it, what you don’t want. And will likely lead to thoughts, feelings, actions and results you don’t want.

Here is an example. The why is “I want to get out of debt.”

What does the circumstance of being in debt make you think? About the dollar amount and the effort it’s going to take to get out of the deep hole you’re in.

How does that make you feel? Hopeless.

When you feel hopeless, what do you do? Sit on the couch watching Netflix or scrolling your news feed. Translation – you avoid that networking event, that team meeting, that phone call, that social media live video.

When you take that action what result do you get? The same one you have.

This happens because for good or bad, our brains are wired for harmony; to make our outer world line up with our inner world and it uses our thoughts and feelings.

A "why" focused on what you don’t have and don’t want will keep you from taking action and getting a different result because your mind will also be closed off to new possibilities and choices. In the example above, the result is in harmony with being in debt.

So, if your why isn’t the thing to focus on, what should it be?

How about changing to your what? Or even better, who?

Because our brains are wired to resolve dissonance and achieve harmony, it is a very powerful instrument for helping us create change. And it starts on the inside.

How do you do this?

Create the picture on the inside of WHAT you want and WHO you are as if it is happening now. This isn’t fake it ‘til you make it. This is a new, vivid, deeply felt picture of reality in your mind.

This is acting like you are already the leader, the manager, the spouse, the entrepreneur you want to be. This is imprinting your mind with the thoughts and feelings this new you would have. And taking the actions this new you would take. Behave as if it’s already happened.  

When you create this kind of disharmony between the reality in your mind and your current circumstances, your brain will go to work making the outside match the inside. It will open your creativity. It will make you aware of opportunities and resources to help you. You will find yourself overcoming obstacles and challenges.

When you use the power of your brain to align your inner and outer world and you discover and utilize your natural behavioral strengths to switch out limiting beliefs, you can release mind drama and self-doubt. You experience transformation because you are the "who" and "what" you decide to be. You achieve level after level of potential, contribution and meaning.

So, don’t feel bad giving up your why. Trade it in for believing you have what you want and are the person you imagine yourself to be.

Need help discovering your strengths and transforming yourself into who you want to be? Reach out to me today.  

Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash