The reason why it's hard to change your behaviour
Changing behaviour requires effort. However, there are times you may put effort but don't see any change in results. This happens mostly due to some form of internal resistance.
Internal resistance is like pushing the accelerator and brake at the same time. It requires more effort yet yields no result.
I caught myself doing it recently, before I share my story, I would request you to ask yourself this question:
"What is the one area in my life where I deeply wish to bring a change but haven't been able to?"?
It might be taking care of your health, getting more organised in your work, spending more time with your loved ones, writing a book or something totally different. You got the gist of it, right?
My story:
I recently noticed that a part of me is resisting taking more clients. While another part is working towards having more clients.
As I paid more attention to this resistance, I heard it say, "If you enrol more clients you will be compromising on the quality of your coaching". This subconscious belief had kept my energies split.?
Once I noticed this, it didn't take much energy to think of creative ways to work with more clients without compromising quality.
The key is identifying how you are holding yourself back. Once you identify this, you can work towards finding a way ahead. Otherwise, you may get frustrated for not having the results you want.
The lesson from my story
We often have hidden commitments that come in the way of what we wish for.
I first thought my commitment in this situation was to choose quality over quantity. However, as looked deeper, I came to see that there was a hidden commitment toward staying in my comfort.
Finding a way to engage with more clients without compromising the quality of my work demanded me to embrace new ways of working. It demanded I get out of my comfort and be creative.
领英推荐
Let's come back to you.?
Notice if you are holding yourself back in any way in the area you wish to bring a change. Notice the excuses and justifications you might be giving yourself. Notice if there are any fears that you are running away from.
Sometimes our excuses sound so noble that we don't see them as excuses.
Like in my story, the excuse sounded like "I don't want to choose quantity over quality". Sounds noble, right? Nevertheless, it was an excuse I was giving myself to stay in my comfort.
Hidden Commitment
Take a minute and notice, what's the hidden commitment in your situation.?
Here are a few common ones I have seen:
There is no issue with being committed to comfort. However, the struggle is when we are committed to comfort and cry about not having growth.?
I hope you can identify your hidden commitments and set yourself free from internal resistance.
Reflection Questions: