This is the reason why I am doing the "Film".

The following is an English version of an article I posted in Japanese on January 13, 2023, with additions.

The original version written in Japanese is here: https://www.dhirubhai.net/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7019660316678529024/.

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The day before yesterday, I had to conduct a "Dialogue" remotely.?It was, after all, more appropriately called an "Interview" than a "Dialogue," since I was speaking one-sidedly. Now, one of the questions was, "Why the movie?" or "Why are you writing a movie script?" Perhaps it was not answered very clearly, I thought later, so here is the answer. I certainly gave one answer to this, but in hindsight, however, I thought that perhaps I did not answer it very clearly, so here is my answer again.?

I once nearly destroyed a screening event. I had a confrontation with one of the members, a female singer. What was expressed in the phenomenal world was the following. I did not like her song selection and criticized her severely. Therefore, she said she was going to leave the event. ?

But what was actually happening in my inner world was something completely different. I hated and did not love myself. That was the real reason. I felt an unmitigated shame about accepting the intervention of the students who were helping me with the event and apologizing to that singer.?

The singer's sister saw that this was a problem in my inner world. She is a documentary filmmaker, and to begin with, the event was to show a series of several of her documentary films, plus a new 8mm short film that we all made and added to, similar to Jonas Mekas' work. By showing several films in a row without a break, the event was to depict the natural life of a person from birth, meeting many people, to death and return to "Space". Thus, it was to feature her work in a big way, and I was the initiator, and she was the co-organizer. However, to complete that larger-than-life story, it was necessary to intersperse a song on my sister's part, who is a singer, between the films. Now, the female filmmaker apparently told the students the following in response to the uproar.

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I think that Ms. Toda should love himself more.

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I did not understand what she meant when she said this to the students.

In short, I was thought by her sister, the female singer, to be an amateur eventer, which was, in fact, true, and I was embarrassed that she could see through that. But I had never once trusted my own talent, so it was impossible for me to love myself, and I didn't really know what that meant. However, I could not let the event be destroyed, so I was troubled and decided to try an experiment to understand what it meant to love myself. I sent this email to the female documentary filmmaker.?

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I love you. I love myself and I love everything.

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That, of course, is a lie. Well, I respected her. But I didn't understand "Love" or anything. Instead of loving everything, I rather hated almost everything at that time. I would write scathing reviews and publish them on social media with such vigor that I would curse and kill any independent film made by a young filmmaker who had never seen D.W. Griffith or John Ford, who had never heard of Jean-Luc Godard or Straub-Huillet, and who had the audacity to say that he/she had never seen any of them. Incidentally, the female documentary filmmaker did not know any of the above four directors. But for some reason I wanted to do a screening event with her, so I wrote and emailed her a critique of hers that began with the words "This is a love letter". That was how I set up that event.?

Now, back to the story. Her reply email came within 10 minutes.

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Good. If you tell me that you love yourself and that you love everything, that is enough for me. Mr. Toda, I love you too.

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I was shocked when I read it. I had never said "I love you," nor had anyone ever said it to me, but I succumbed to the power of those words and couldn't stop crying. Why on earth am I crying? I don't even know. I would come to understand later when I read "A Course In Miracles," but at that time, anyway, while crying "wow, wow, wow," I did come to one conclusion.?

Love is real, and Love heals."?

So, I replied to her, "I have faith".?

When I began to write "The Holy Spirit in Ultramarine," my first thought was to make the main character, who had never said "I love you," say "I love you". I also envisioned a film that would make the audience, after watching it, want to tell someone "I love you" right away.?

To be clear, there is no panacea for the world's problems other than "Love". "Love" is the totality, the power, and will that govern the entire "Universe". It is the force, and will that govern all of the "Universe", and it is something that is never separate from anyone. The identity concept of "you and I are different and apart" is a complete illusion that must be destroyed. It is achieved through a return to "Love".?

If one communicates "I love you" with the intense feeling that "you and I are one," then the relationship is healed. To communicate this, I have decided to use "Film" and am writing a script. I promised that to my mentor, the late Hiroshi Ohuchi, who translated "A Course In Miracles" under the name "Kiseki no Course(奇跡のコース)," with the words, "I will not fall down no matter what," on December 4, 2011, when this picture was taken.?

This is the reason why I am doing the "Film".

#Love_is_real #Love_heals #I_Love_You #I_Love_Myself #I_Love_Everything

I would like to thank the following people for accompanying me on my recent "Spiritual Journey".

Viktoriya , Irene Magnani , Carey Corr , Maryam Fallah Faal , Laura Pellicciari , Emelyn Knesovich , Michael Foster , Glenn Ratcliffe ,Patricio Schwanek