It Really Is "A Wonderful Life": YOURS

For those of you who are reading this, I ask that you type the word "ME" in the comments if you were NOT born yesterday.

Shocker. Same here.

And would you also type the word "CAT" in the comments if you feel as if you've already lived nine lives versus just one.

I'm right there with you. And I know we're not alone.

All of us "seasoned" folks have lived lives full of experiences that take our breath away...the moments that have us feeling euphoric, the traumas that plunge us into despair, and the day-to-day in between that, sadly, we barely seem to notice. Life has a way of marching along, presenting us with madness and magic, not always in equal measure, and without any concern as to whether we're on board with whatever's happening or fighting it every step of the way.

Too often, we don't take the time to take stock of everything that has brought us to this point and made us who we are today. I know it to be true in my own life and in the lives of others who come to me to help them unravel their pasts and give their stories greater meaning. I love listening to those stories. And I wait for what I know always comes: The whispered shame and regret and shoulda, coulda, woudlas. We all have them. And more often than not, we all try to keep those parts of our past in the shadows.

But in that pain is such power. Helping others realize that and encouraging them to embrace ALL of what they've known and who they have come to be is nothing short of an epiphany. Cue the angels and the tinkle of those bells when miracles happen, and we succeed in seeing our lives with more clarity and in ways we had not prior imagined.

George Bailey of Bedford Falls, his dark night of the soul, and his divine intervention in the form of an angel named Clarence, a very senior childlike misfit of sorts who had yet to earn his wings, is a story I have watched hundreds of times. Since that first time as a child seeing the film "It's A Wonderful Life" with my father on our black and white tiny TV, it and its meaning continue to evolve and grow within me.

George Bailey as a young man had so many dreams. So many ambitions. He wanted to travel and to build things, and he wanted to really make this big difference in people’s lives and in the world. He wanted to make a name for himself and be somebody. When he’s college-aged, he tells Mary – the girl he’ll one day marry – that he has no intention of sticking around town. He says, "I know what I’m gonna do tomorrow, and the next day, and the next year, and the year after that. I’m shakin’ the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I’m gonna see the world. Italy, Greece, the Parthenon, the Colosseum. Then, I’m comin’ back here to go to college and see what they know. And then I’m gonna build things. I’m gonna build airfields, I’m gonna build skyscrapers a hundred stories high, I’m gonna build bridges a mile long…"

So many specific plans…but George never does get out of Bedford Falls. Lots of reasons why, just like all of us: Life seems to just happen. And for George, he seems to end up living a life of obligation. Caregiving for everybody else other than himself.

At one point, he finds himself in serious financial trouble. Even though it’s due to no fault of his own, he chooses to take on the blame and responsibility.?He can lose it all – his family, his home – and he can go to jail. He tries to figure a way out on his own, but he can’t, and he becomes discouraged, and desperate, and he considers taking his life. He feels like such a failure because the voices in his head focus on what he hasn’t achieved instead of all that he has, and they whisper words of shame so that George doesn’t feel as if there is anyone he can lean on or ask for help.

By the time the story ends, however, Clarence the angel trying to get his wings shows up and shows George that he actually did build things — He built an entire town that would have been completely different had he not been there. He built a community filled with people who cared for one another. He built a family that loved him. And his self-less actions helped save the lives of countless others he never even knew about because – as Clarence says – one man’s life touches so many others.

George is the guy -- the strongest among them --?a caregiver, a "do-it-all" fellow, the one who always seemed to have all the answers, who generously gave to others, and who rarely if ever thought about himself. Yet, at the moment when his circumstances start to fall apart, and he is the one who needs help, he can't see his way clear to asking and allowing and showing himself the same compassion he always showed to others.

George was given a gift: The ability to see a whole different perspective on who he is, how important he’s been, how his just being had made all the difference in the world, and just what a wonderful life he really has had – and others have had because of him.

We are NOT born yesterday. And with that fact, we have a lot of history and stories we've been telling ourselves and that others have told us and led us to believe are true. I am proposing through this newsletter I've decided to start that we remember who we are -- the good, the not so good, and all of the in between. And I hope to share some insights that help us realize that being who we are is all that we need to be. Imperfectly perfect: Each and every one of us is just that. Trying to be something we think we're supposed to be or something other than who or where we are...? That is inauthentic and THAT is when we fail in our potential to connect with others and with ourselves.

So consider this your permission slip to celebrate YOU (all of you), the fact that you weren't born yesterday, and the wonderful life (warts and all) that you have, indeed, been living.

#storytelling #leadership #inspiration #impostersyndrome

NOT BORN YESTERDAY is a work in progress, and just as we who were not born yesterday continue to evolve and grow in our respective journeys, so, too, will this newsletter. I welcome hearing from you on what topics you might want me to touch on here and open up for discussion. You and your story matter. You have and continue to live your own "wonderful life" and sharing the lessons you've learned with others can only help to change this world for the better.

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Paolina Milana is a storyteller with journalistic roots. She is Founder of Madness To Magic . She is a published award-winning author, podcaster of “I’m with Crazy: A Love Story”, keynote speaker, and a content producer; her work has been published in various outlets including?INC ,?LifeHack , and more. Paolina is an authority in story-based leadership and in sharing stories that celebrate the triumph of the human spirit and the power that lies within each of us to bring about change for the better.