Is This Really Normal?

I recently left a coaching session with a question circling in my mind, echoing with a strange clarity: How many of the things we accept as “normal” today are actually good for us?

It’s a question that lingered with me, like a tiny pebble in your shoe that you can’t ignore.

In our world, where sitting for hours, staring at screens, rushing back to work after childbirth, and living boxed in by concrete are just “how things are,” I wonder: Are we unknowingly harming our minds and bodies?

As a psychiatrist, I’ve started noticing the toll these so-called norms take on us—and it’s deeper than we might think.

Normalized Yet Not Natural

From a psychiatric and coaching perspective, many “normal” behaviors in today’s world are anything but natural.

Over the years, we’ve gradually normalized ways of living that don’t align with our true needs as humans. And it’s showing up in our mental health, our relationships, and even our energy for life.

Let me take you through some of these everyday habits. I invite you to reflect on them and feel into how they may be affecting your own life.

1. The Bubble of Digital Isolation

Think about it. How often do you connect with someone face-to-face?

In our digital era, it’s common to maintain relationships over screens. Meetings, conversations, even deeply personal exchanges now happen through text, video calls, and social media. This form of communication is easy, yes. But is it truly satisfying?

Imagine the difference: sitting across from someone, hearing their laughter fill the room, feeling the warmth of shared silence, seeing their expressions up close. These are irreplaceable parts of human connection that screens simply can’t provide.

But we’re accepting this digital detachment as normal. Psychologically, though, our brains crave in-person interaction. This lack of real connection may be one reason why so many feel lonely, even when “connected” all day.

2. Constant Acceleration – Working Without Rest

Today’s culture almost worships productivity. Breaks? Many of us feel guilty even thinking about them.

You know the drill: endless meetings, constant emails, “just one more task” before we can finally log off. Somehow, this is seen as admirable, even though our minds—and our nervous systems—aren’t wired for continuous stimulation. When we don’t allow ourselves regular recovery, we end up overworked and burned out.

Stress becomes a silent shadow in the background, affecting our focus, memory, and emotional well-being.

In psychiatry, we know that chronic stress impacts brain health, diminishing our ability to think clearly and regulate our emotions. Yet, we continue pushing ourselves, normalizing exhaustion as the price of “success.” But at what cost?

3. The Lure of Passive Entertainment

Think about how easy it is to get lost in endless scrolling on your phone, flipping through Netflix, or clicking mindlessly online. Today, passive consumption is normal. In fact, it’s one of the main ways we “relax.”

Yet, this type of entertainment often leaves us feeling empty, rather than refreshed. When we’re endlessly consuming, we miss out on what we could be creating: art, music, ideas, even connections. Passive consumption dampens our drive to engage with life fully. Instead of filling us up, it slowly drains us, robbing us of motivation and leaving us in a daze.

Psychologically, this passive approach disengages our minds, cutting us off from experiences that bring us true joy and satisfaction. And yet, society promotes it as a reasonable way to unwind. But are we really unwinding—or just numbing out?

4. The Cult of Self-Sufficiency

Self-sufficiency is seen as strength. Needing help, we’re told, is a sign of weakness.

We’re taught to “do it alone,” to not rely on others, to be fiercely independent. But as social beings, we naturally need connection, community, and support to thrive. This extreme individualism can lead to isolation, stress, and a deeper sense of disconnection. We keep things to ourselves, feeling shame or guilt for needing support, and push through struggles alone.

But research shows that isolation leads to mental health issues like depression and anxiety. And yet, we’ve normalized this “lone wolf” mentality as the standard for success.

5. Concrete Cages – A Life Disconnected from Nature

Take a deep breath. Now imagine doing that in the middle of a lush forest, the scent of pine filling your lungs, the earth firm beneath your feet, the sound of birds a natural symphony around you. Compare this to the daily urban grind: buildings, concrete, traffic.

Today, many of us live surrounded by concrete with limited access to green spaces. And while city life may seem exciting, our minds naturally crave nature. Being in green, open spaces reduces stress, lifts our mood, and brings us back to a balanced state of mind. The lack of this connection to nature creates a subtle, constant discomfort—a yearning we might not even be aware of. Yet, we normalize this urban isolation, ignoring the psychological toll it takes on us.

6. Processed Foods – Fueling the Body, Poisoning the Mind

Take a moment to consider how “normal” it has become to grab food that’s packaged, processed, and ready to go. Supermarket shelves are lined with convenience foods that have replaced traditional, whole ingredients. We’re feeding our bodies, but what are we doing to our minds?

While the physical health effects of processed foods are well-documented, emerging research highlights a deeper impact on our mental health. Diets high in processed foods contribute to inflammation, which affects the brain, often leading to increases in anxiety, depression, and cognitive decline. These foods lack essential nutrients like omega-3 fatty acids, B vitamins, and antioxidants—key ingredients that support optimal brain function.

Imagine your mind as a finely tuned engine. Processed foods are like subpar fuel that, over time, clogs the system. Concentration wavers, memory dims, and emotional stability falters. This norm of grabbing quick, processed meals may seem harmless, but it’s quietly chipping away at our mental clarity and resilience. Yet, society promotes it as an easy solution to a busy life.

Coaching Reflection – Redefining “Normal”

Reflecting on these norms with my coaching client, I realized how deeply these “normal” behaviors shape our lives—and not always for the better. This normalization, without question, impacts not only our well-being but also our children’s. Kids growing up in this fast-paced, isolated, concrete-laden world might believe it’s normal to be stressed, disconnected, and constantly busy.

But what if we could question these norms and redefine what “normal” means to us?

Steps Toward a Healthier Normal

If these “normal” ways of living feel misaligned with your needs, there’s good news: we can choose differently. Here are a few ways to start:

1. Nurture Real Connection: Try to set aside screen time for genuine, face-to-face interaction. Prioritize time with loved ones, family dinners, or coffee with friends. Real connection is one of the most nourishing experiences we can have.
2. Take Guilt-Free Breaks: Make rest and recovery a part of your day. Remember, breaks aren’t a luxury—they’re necessary for brain health and mental clarity. Step away from work, stretch, or take a few minutes in nature.
3. Shift from Consumption to Creation: Engage in activities that bring joy and creativity into your life. Instead of scrolling, maybe try journaling, painting, or even cooking something new. Creating, rather than consuming, fills us with a unique sense of purpose.
4. Build a Supportive Network: Seek out people who uplift you. Let go of the idea that you must do everything alone. Embrace the fact that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
5. Reconnect with Nature: Make a habit of getting outside, even if it’s just for a short walk in a park. Feel the sun, hear the birds, breathe in fresh air. These moments bring us back to ourselves in ways concrete and screens simply can’t.

Conclusion – Redefining Our Version of “Normal”

So, I leave you with this thought: Is this “normal” truly aligned with our well-being?

As we start questioning society’s standards, we gain the freedom to create a life that nourishes us, rather than drains us.

Let’s reclaim our right to define our own version of “normal”—one that prioritizes connection, joy, and well-being for ourselves and for future generations.

Warmly,

Florina