Is There Really a Line Between Arrogant and Confident Leadership?

Before you start reading this article, I want you to watch this video:

More than couple of decades back, I had an avid (and somewhat frantic) argument with one of my teachers on the topic ‘Greed is Good’. No, I didn’t see the famous movie Wall Street where Michael Douglas as Gordon Gekko says, "Greed, for lack of a better word… is good." I essentially argued that there is a thin line, if at all, between ambition and greed, and it was unacceptable to me when we perceive or are taught that ambition is good while greed is not.

When I was watching the above video, it intrigued me in a similar fashion whether John Carpenter’s act on the last question of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire was an act of confidence or arrogance? While many may argue that the difference between the two is as big as the Great Lakes of Michigan, I would think the line is thin, if there is one at all!

So I started by looking at Merriam-Webster and here they give the definition of the word Arrogance - an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions. And, here it is for the word Confidence - a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances.

Even a close look at the above two definitions can reveal very clearly that there are many overlapping factors between Arrogance and Confidence. If you are supremely confident about an ability of yours, it is hard not to be perceived as arrogant and just confident. Knowing the difference between the two and more importantly walking on the thin edge between the two is often much harder than what we may think. If you show lack of confidence, being afraid of being seen as arrogant, you will subject yourself to the people who are confident. On the other hand, if your confidence crosses that invisible boundary of arrogance, it is likely that you will overstate and overrate your abilities.

If you are familiar with the game of cricket and followed the ascent of one of the most prolific contemporary Indian player Rohit Sharma, you must have seen that same shot of him evoked two responses under two circumstances – one: ‘it was an arrogant shot’ and two: ‘it was a shot exuberating confidence’. Yes, the same person, the same shot under same circumstance can evoke two different reactions or perceptions, even from expert commentators and ex-cricketers of some repute. The only difference between the two shots were – the first one was not well executed, and the second one was. How on earth does that reflect the state of his mind or manifestation of behavior before the execution of the shot?

So, is it the success (or failure) that decides people’s perception of seeing your act as either confidence or arrogance? If you hit an over-boundary with an elegant shot it is your confidence; while same elegant shot when missing the mark by barely few inches and you get caught at the boundary, it is perceived as arrogance. You cannot stop the judgment of those who opines through hindsight. You can at best stop yourself from thinking of their opinion and be at your best. Trust your instincts with a deep sense of self-respect.

In the context of leadership, confidence is paramount, while arrogance is the biggest deterrent. Can you imagine a leader who operates from the podium of self-doubt and fear? You can’t. Without an abundant dose of confidence it is unlikely that you would be able to influence others to lead them. And, I mean ‘leading’, not managing. However, in my experience, I found that in many cases some of those leaders are (perceived as) arrogant. Why I added parenthesis around those words is again the thin line between the two, which is often invisible in my opinion; hence it is at the end of the day perception that matters at times.

What is then you can do as a leader to demonstrate confidence without crossing that blurred line towards arrogance? Here are three that I believe are critical ones:

1. Listen, listen, and listen: One common trait I found in all those leaders whom I perceived as “arrogant” is their inability to keep their mouth shut and listen to others. You don’t have to go by my words. If you have encountered a leader who you considered as arrogant, you’d have invariably noticed his inability to accommodate others’ ideas. Yes, as a leader you have the authority (and rightly so) to drive your opinion and be direct. You absolutely do so when needed, but not at the expense of not listening to another opinion.
2. Empathy: Often I feel this is probably one of the most abused words. However, may be, the big chasm between being seen as confident and considered as arrogant is how empathetic you are even when you are making those bold statements and taking those seemingly unpleasant decisions. If your desire to prove yourself right is backed by the desire to also prove others wrong, you have certainly crossed that blurred line.
3. Be yourself; we are all imperfect: One of my ingrained philosophy and one that I quote in many places is ‘perfection is an illusion worth chasing’. Absolutely – you need to strive hard to be better every single day. However, you do not need to pretend or prove to be perfect. In order to show ourselves as perfect in a particular context, situation, decision or belief, we try to build an impregnable wall of invulnerability, which results in the perception of arrogance. It is okay to be vulnerable, as long as your self-belief remains strong. Even if a layer of paint in that wall becomes pale, you’ll be okay.

Coming back to the question of whether John Carpenter was confident or arrogant – could you decide? If you need more help, here is the YouTube link for the full episode – from the first question to the last.

So, what do you think?

I would be interested to know your thoughts. Your views and comments are most welcome and if you like the article, do share it in your network.

? Dipes Biswas, 2017