Is it really ALL about Relationships?

"English schools to phase out ‘cruel’ behaviour rules as Labour plans major education changes..."

We've all seen the positive headlines and promises of a new direction of travel when it comes to dealing with “persistent disruptive behaviour”. The recent figures; a record 787,000 pupils suspended and 9,400 permanently excluded was an increase of 44% compared with 2021-22.?

In February 2020 Tom Bennett was appointed the chair of a new task force created by the DfE to tackle and manage 'unruly behaviour' in schools. He said in the last few days that his appointment was “not party political” and he would continue to advise on good behaviour in schools.?

In my opinion, we obviously require a different type of advice - and support - for and from The Department for Education. The early messages that I've read and heard form Bridget Phillipson and Stephen Morgan MP are hopeful, reassuring and to be encouraged. The Secretary of State for Education and the Education Minister have so far listened to the voices of educators and those children who have been impacted by draconian behaviour 'management' strategies, and also listened to the experience of former Children's Commissioner Anne Longfield CBE, all solid first steps.

But how do we change a culture? A school culture that had it's behaviour strategy formed back in 1810 when Joseph Lancaster imposed the idea of punishing and rewarding pupils; the 'carrot and stick' approach that we still adhere ourselves to. Let me say what it really is; bribery and humiliation.

I will try to offer a personal perspective on that point. I left school with no qualifications and no prospects. Was I 'unruly' at school? Not initially, no. I was chatty and loved being creative but found the pedagogy used impenetrable and the 'discipline' directed at me unreasonable. I spent the last two years of primary school sat facing a wall away from my peers. I was, of course, that 'type' of child; my mum a single parent, living in a council flat, an absent father who was in and out of prison. My path it seemed had been mapped out for me and was reinforced by a succession of secondary teachers that were ultimately proved correct; I would amount to nothing and end up working on building sites - which in fairness is exactly what happened.

I was lucky though, I had the chance of a second go at education as an adult through the 'Access to Learning' programme (a thing of the past). And that was down to a teacher and a social worker (not one of my teachers) I met during a funded community arts project (another thing of the past) who both saw something different in me and encouraged me to change the route of the path.

From a position of experience, what we need in schools is a renewed focus on relationships, not compliance. I had a second chance, the children today do not and will not.

The brilliant Behaviour and Mental Health in schools report from 2022 that was produced by Children and Young People's Mental Health Coalition (CYPMHC) was seemingly 'lost' by the previous administration who kept to the well trodden path, despite the findings.

The CYPMHC's inquiry aimed to explore the links between behaviour and mental health and how school behaviour policies and practices impact the mental health of children and their families. It was trying to understand what can be done to help schools to better support behaviour, mental health, and wellbeing.

I urge anyone remotely interested in the correlation between behaviour approaches and children's deteriorating mental health to pick it up and read; including the foreword by the former chair of CYPMHC, Sir Norman Lamb (someone that I would like to see advising government once again)

‘The disciplinary framework that is currently in place has punishment at its core.’ (Zahra Bei, Sector evidence session 2022)

‘What I hear is lots of quite punitive approaches to very minor infractions of rules that frankly don’t matter and there is no evidence base to back that up.’ (Professor Tamsin Ford 2022)

Young people, parents, carers and professionals told the inquiry that they all overwhelmingly believe that behaviour is linked to both mental health and to SEND needs. They heard evidence of how unmet and undiagnosed needs can often contribute to behavioural problems within schools.

IPSEA - Independent Provider of Special Education Advice confirm the belief that permanent exclusions are "disproportionately affecting pupils with special educational needs..." This cannot be allowed to continue; the facts are startling when it comes to the treatment of SEND learners and the majority of schools need to reconsider their strategies and develop ways of supporting children and young people who are often overwhelmed and simply dysregulated.

"The evidence suggests, however, that many schools do focus mainly on punitive approaches to behaviour." (Behaviour and Mental Health in schools report 2022)

There is even DfE guidance (Use of reasonable force in schools) that states school staff can use physical intervention and restraint to 'maintain good order and discipline'. We have seen where that approach can lead...

Panorama - Undercover School: Cruelty in the Classroom - BBC iPlayer

I'm sorry, It is not 1810 anymore.

I do not apologise for quoting Sir Norman Lamb at this point;

“I believe that changing the approach to behaviour in schools from one that is focused on the use of punitive approaches, to one that is understanding of and responsive to children’s needs, will be our first step in the journey to achieving the vision of inclusivity and wellbeing for all”.

Indeed.

So how do we achieve this utopian vision?

We need a relevant, untarnished, fit for purpose Ofsted or a re-imagined inspectorate that does not lose sight of it's brief; to support schools so they can improve the provision they offer. Schools are no longer simply buildings where children get sent to 'learn' certain politically chosen 'facts' and figures to regurgitate at certain ages - many schools are the last remaining civic hubs in our communities, places that should offer understanding and support through trusting relationships for all 'stakeholders'. Places of safety for all, including staff.

Most school leaders, not all, and most teachers, not all, want the best for the children and young people that they care for. The Department for Education need to allow schools and teachers that opportunity and define a new set of priorities. It cannot be the unrelenting drive for compliance and discipline to achieve arbitrary targets on attainment and attendance. Not now, not with what we know is happening to the mental health of our children.

Children need to be 'ready to learn' and to be ready to learn they need to feel that they belong and are understood.

One of my many hats is that of a Thrive Approach Practitioner and during a Thrive conference, I had the pleasure of listening to these wise words;

“The children who need love the most will always ask for it in the most unloving ways” ( Jane Evans )

It helped me develop my thinking and therefore the content of staff training I provided for my colleagues in both SEND and mainstream provisions. This is the abstract for my paper 'Understanding & Responding to Behaviours that Challenge' that I wrote for IATED 's International Conference of Education, Research and Innovation last year:

'We are social animals, for us it is all about relationships. We are conceived in relationship, as we grow, we do so in the relationships around us. For some of the children we support, certain relationships can be overwhelming and certain situations can trigger significant responses. These children may need to seek the security of control as they navigate a punitive world or may be seeking the security of control due to previous, and possibly current, adverse experiences.

We all seek control of our environments and relationships in different ways at different times, using various methods of communication through our behaviour. At times the communication shared in relationships can be misunderstood. Sometimes, as adults, we can interpret these behaviours as simply being ‘challenging’.

As professionals that support children whose communication is often misinterpreted, we should look towards the possible functions of these behaviours to decipher the intended communication. Some children may not know how to find appropriate ways to communicate that function or need, without the reassurance of a supportive relationship.

We need to delve into the impact that poor attachment, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), and trauma has on behaviour and communication. By exploring the functions of behaviour and survival modes, we as educators may be able to learn to differentiate between the behaviours we observe and potentially react to, and the actual inner world of the child.

It is, ultimately, all about relationships. Can we emphasise the importance of responding to children's needs and providing trusted, secure environments? By becoming emotionally available individuals, as well as teachers, we can offer the necessary support to the children we protect and teach. The best way of learning is in a safe environment within a secure relationship.'

School and college leaders like Andrew Howard FCCT DFIFIP , Roger Mitchell , Emma Pindard , Lee Martin , Karen Dorow , Stacey Green , Matt Campion and Nicky Salt PGCE MSc MCCT all understand and promote the idea of 'relationships first' within their settings - all diverse types of settings from each other but all with the shared understanding that there is more to an individual's behaviour than what we see and hear. (Apologies to all the other amazing leaders that I couldn't tag here...??)

When talking about the inner world of the child, I am referring to the work done by the amazing Helen Townsend the founder of 'Inner World Work', who has made the complex concept of going beyond what we see and hear, to developing a curiosity of what is really going on internally with children who are dysregulated, understandable. Thank you.

So, back to the 'how' we change a school culture. Maybe with clear support, helpful guidance and relevant training on the importance of relationships within schools; including offering practical strategies, and based on trauma informed research, lived experience and neuroscience, we have the first tentative steps.

Forgive the self-indulgence here. I have avoided self-promotion on LinkedIn as it makes me uncomfortable when I read it from others, but there is a time to put things into perspective on a professional networking platform, especially when you are trying to offer knowledge, experience and support.

I wrote a book before there was a 'market' for it, because there was a need for it. Routledge knew that also and thankfully asked me to write; 'Providing Relationships & Sex Education for Special Learners'. Simply, it is the book I wished I had when I was teaching. It was finished before #RSE became a statutory subject, because I had spent the previous years developing a RSE provision that was needed by the children and young adults I was supporting.

I have spent my teaching, tutoring and training career developing and researching into how we can provide better ways of teaching, coaching and learning. I have taught in both mainstream and SEND schools, I have taught from primary age to post-16 learners all with a unique range of learning styles, including those with Social Emotional & Mental Health needs. In well over 20 years of teaching 'behaviour' was never an issue...

That is because it is ALL about relationships.

Now, as a director of the 'Specialist SEND Group' I am in a position to work with other dedicated professionals to provide a range of support for schools in the UK and globally.

Part of that range of support is our collection of CPD and KHDA accredited courses.

When we look at the facts and figure behind the headlines, we see clearly that if we had a better understanding of SEND needs within schools, and a better understanding of how to respond to behaviours that we find challenging, we would be in a far better position to support the children, young adults and their families when they need us the most.

There are many amazing training providers out there, and many that will definitely be able to support a change of culture within schools. However, our SEND courses, developed with Claire B. and Beth Widdrington with guidance of those with lived experience, like the lush Tigger Pritchard áú and driven by trauma informed research and up to date neuroscience are already here for this time of change. The courses were not created and developed for a 'market' but because there was - and is - a real need. The type of courses I needed when I was doing my Initial Teacher Training, the courses I still needed when I was an experienced teacher.

We are also exploring how we can make these courses - and our Whole School Support programmes - available to schools that have limited or no CPD budget affordable through alternative funding. Watch this space...

'Understanding SEND' and 'Understanding and Responding to Behaviours' just two of our courses that I believe can help schools and colleges. I need to leave the last word to another amazing headteacher, Ellie MacQuarrie.

At Stithians School, we understand that relationships are at the heart of creating a positive, nurturing and inclusive environment for children with all levels of need.

When looking for training around ‘behaviour management’, it was vital that we had an organisation who put relationships, love and curiosity at the core of their message, whilst also giving staff practical and realistic solutions for helping the children in our care who may become dysregulated and experience big feelings.

SEND International and Paul Bray tick all those boxes. Paul led us through the?Understanding & Responding to Behaviours?day with warmth, humour and real-life examples from his own experiences. Paul and the SEND International team are committed to highlighting to professionals that all behaviour is a form of communication, and the course content explains how our own responses can either escalate or de-escalate a situation.

The course uses a mixture of practical activities, discussion and thought-provoking videos to engage with the delegates. The day was well received by all with a clear message that if you get the culture right, everything else will follow!

Ellie MacQuarrie, Head teacher

Feel free to reach out to me, to the SEND team or visit our website; Specialist SEND Group | Driving Inclusion Across The Globe