Realizing No One Is Going To Save You Will Save You
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Realizing No One Is Going To Save You Will Save You

“Someday I’m not going to be here to help you. So, you have to learn how to be responsible for yourself. It’s up to you.”

I can still vividly see my father saying that to me when I was 15 years old, just weeks before he died suddenly.

He was right and I was blessed.

I was blessed to have him for those 15 years, and I was blessed by what he said to me.

It was the ultimate gift from a father to his son.

Two months later I got it. I understood it. I accepted it and embraced it. It would be the foundation and motivation for my entire life.

No one was going to save me.

I am fully responsible for what happens to me.

It is up to me and only me. Period.

I had snuck out of the house late one night and was sitting on a hill overlooking White Rock Lake and downtown Dallas.

I was desperate. My father was gone. My mother had her own challenges, and we weren’t “aligned” on things. My older brother and sister had moved away and on with their lives. I had friends but they had their own growing pains.

I fully realized no one was going to save me. Therefore, it was up to me. 100% top to bottom. Today to the end.

I was saved.

Saving yourself

This is the way life is. This is the way you want life to be if you?really?think about it.

After all, who do you want to be in control of your life?

After all, this is the REALITY of life. To believe otherwise is destructive pure folly.

I can still feel the emotion I felt on the hillside that night when I realized this.

I wasn’t scared or discouraged. Quite the opposite. I felt strong, empowered and excited.

“Whoa, man! WTF! Cool!!!”

It was the first good moment I had since my father’s death, and it was a moment that would define and enable my life.

However, through the years and even today, I can still catch myself looking for someone else to save me.

Doctors can save you in the ER. Lifeguards can save you from drowning. A police officer can save you from harm.

But no one is there to save you when it comes to how you live your life.

It’s up to you.

There is no silver bullet

We turn to gurus, influencers, thought and religious leaders and family members looking for that magic formula. That amazing insight or “how to”.

Yes, they can provide guidance, ideas, methods, formulas and support. They can call you out and lift you up. But ultimately, it’s up to you to seek it, apply it, customize it and diligently see it through.

When I was seeking a new way forward in my life I was listening to, reading about and connecting with so many incredibly smart and successful people. Deep inside I was hoping for the silver bullet.

But there is no such thing just as there are no werewolves for which to kill with one with.

Poverty Mindset vs. Success Mindset

You may have seen those comparison lists of the mindsets of successful people versus those who aren’t successful. Here is my #1 favorite as it applies to saving my life:

Poverty mindset: It’s someone else’s fault – Successful mindset: I must take responsibility.

I realize today what I have realized all along my life path: It’s up to me to take responsibility because no one is going to save me.

I will have help and support along the way, but it is up to me to do something with it.

Knowing this truth has saved my life in mega ways and small ways. It has been a motivation and it has given me strength and determination.

It is such a basic and simple truth that it makes things simple. It is the way it is.

It’s up to you.

An enabler for a greater life

It has given me the power and motivation to succeed in life so much better than I would have otherwise.

Going through college, building a television news career then building a content creation business.

Being in a super long-term relationship and raising two outstanding sons. Overcoming challenges both external and internal.

Finding a new way forward in my life by creating and launching?New Way Forward.

Especially when it comes to changing your life, it is up to you. No one else can take the step forward for you. No one else can truly identify the direction to take. No one else can lead you by the hand.

It’s up to you.

I have had and still have so many people who help and support me and without them, I likely would have failed. I certainly would have had a lesser life because we need the love and support of others.

Yet fully and deeply realizing it’s up to me, that no one is going to save me, makes it simple and drives me.

That is the key to success in anything.

As it did on that hillside so many decades ago, the thought still makes me feel strong, empowered and excited.

As you strive to be the best you can be.

To achieve and succeed.

To pivot, transition and transform yourself into a life you need and want.

Feel blessed because you are blessed that it’s up to you.

Thanks, Dad.

Discover more stories like this on my Substack page and receive my “Launch Yourself - Get Started Guide” to find your New Way Forward at no cost: https://newwayfwd.substack.com/.





Susan Williams

Founder of Booming Encore | Digital Media Hub and Global Social Media Influencer Focused on Longevity | Co-Author of Retirement Heaven or Hell: Which Will You Choose? | Longevity Lifestyle by Design Contributor

1 年

Thanks so much for sharing this Paul. Personal responsibility and accountability seem to have declined substantially as people try and point to others for causing them all their life's problems. Your dad's wisdom obviously left you with a strong foundation to build your life's work on and others are now benefitting from this through you too. Bravo.

Thanks for sharing, Paul. Perfectly said. These are words to live by.

Mehbs Remtulla

Founder + CEO at What's neXT 50

1 年

Very profound Paul. Thx for sharing

Wendy Green

Host of Boomer Banter Live & Podcast | Motivational Speaker | Connector of people

1 年

Great post Paul Long.

Carol D.

Words. Create. Ideas.? 2016 Together. We. Thrive.? 2020 Healthy Aging Starts At Birth? 2023

1 年

Paul Long Thank you for sharing your father's words of wisdom and how they helped guide you. We need reminders like this. It may seem kind to repeatedly "rescue" someone, but it also could be enabling bad behavior.

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