The realization of immediacy in a social context and personally.
Makhosi Arcadian Michael Brown
In Life, There Will Be Resistance, Find Something Important Enough To Do It Anyway!
This past week I realized how important immediacy is, the point and transitional consistency in being self-actualized.
When you start processing the notion of social effectiveness, which is simply the ability to communicate well in your social contrasts, career and with your loved ones, and yes with your life partner.
So what does this all mean and what needs to be avoided? or rather yet how to activate the level-up mode to be congruent?
Firstly we need to understand process strategies, the way in which we process concepts, that is at first you will have a desire to learn or do something, then your soul will learn or experience life, to such a degree that it is felt and confident internalization happens, or is built that a person wants to either teach the event or express the experience in whatever context it may be.
Then it is the feedback, the dreaded opinions of others based on their past life experiences and also what they have learned along the way, when this happens do you face humility or enter into a dialog without allowing your emotions puppeteering you and allow for growth, or do you get upset that your expectations have not been met and crises moment set it.
I guess it is a matter of choice, and you get to choose how to respond.
Further to this just to be aware of self-fulfilling prophecies, this is merely a defense mechanism that allows for aforementioned process strategies, to embrace emotional comfort zones, or not.
If you wondering what a self-fulfilling prophecy, it is a chain cycle that operates from 4 points and understanding, and cognitional internalization and behavior.
Our actions towards others impact, Others' beliefs about us, which cause others actions towards us and reinforces our behavior influencing our actions towards others, and so the perpetual loop continues.
This is why it is important to understand what we say, is not necessarily what we actually speak, and what others hear is not what they think we meant, it is a conclusion based on their personal understanding of the world and their past experiences that have assisted in beliefs that they hold true in their human experience.
Hence the importance of just being socially aware.
And yes with encouragement and being socially aware with no past influences the self-fulfilling prophecy will have positive outcomes, and not negative ones
a way to sidestep this is shown below.
Remove negative expectations of performance. ...
Wipe the slate clean. ...
Set high expectations. ...
Set the right expectations. ...
Train and coach our people to be self-efficacious. ...
Give feedback.
If I had to relate this to cognitions and a process it simply put is:
Self-awareness proceeds the ability to self-regulate, ( process strategy / side-stepping negative pygmalion effects ) The ability to self-regulate proceeds social awareness ( process strategies / side-stepping negative pygmalion effects ) social awareness proceeds social effectiveness.
And yes this is achievable with trial and error the most important factor in this whole process is not to ask why based on internal questioning and shift the internal cognition and narrative to what based internal questioning.
To make better decisions, Ask, What? nor Why?
Why did I decide to hire that person? change to What can I do differently to make a better hiring decision in the future?
Why was I so nasty to my spouse during our argument? change to What do I need to do to resolve this situation and own up to my behavior?
Now you try!
Why do I keep making such horrible choices about whom to date?
What will the change be in what based internals
A:
Why didn’t I see that client’s problem sooner?
What will the change be in what based internals
A:
Why do I get stressed out about the littlest things?
What will the change be in what based internals
A:
Yes, so there it is the simple Keys and mannerisms to apply to maintain healthy social effectiveness in your / one's life.
Will it challenge you, absolutely, will it help you reach a state of transcendence, most definitely.
will you live in the moment and find a consistent happy fulfilled life, well that depends on you, as I said it is about choices and how much effort you are prepared to do in checking yourself before you wreck yourself, and the social constructs that surround your life.
Self-awareness proceeds the ability to self-regulate, ( process strategy ) The ability to self-regulate proceeds social awareness ( process strategies / side-stepping negative pygmalion effects ) social awareness proceeds social effectiveness.
And lastly, should you wish to express or see how your social circle sees you you can try the Dinner of Truth!
It was designed and created for getting honest, objective feedback from others is arguably the best strategy Introspectors have for improving their external self-awareness and achieving a more balanced picture of themselves. There’s one high-impact exercise that can help you learn a lot in just a few hours. It was developed by communications professor Josh Misner, and we call it the Dinner of Truth / the other method that you can use is known as the Jahari-window, but advisable that you do it with a trained skilled helper.
Anyway, if you made it this far in the read, put your arm in the air, high up, drop it behind your back, and give a good pat, well done!
Please find the process for the Dinner of Truth Below.
1. Contact a close friend, family member, or mentor—someone who knows you well and with whom you want to strengthen your relationship. Invite this person to share a meal with you.
2.During the meal, ask them to share the one thing that annoys them most about you. But first, tell the person why you’re doing this, that nothing is off-limits, and that you aren’t allowed to answer defensively—only to listen with an open heart and mind.
3.Spend some time reflecting on what you heard: Was it a surprise? What has this information taught you about how you can have a better relationship with this person? What might you do differently to improve your choices and relationships in an even broader way'
Some further resources and articles for the above write up: