Reality TV Meets Real Life

Some of you out there are actually old enough to remember those weird ass TV shows. They used to scare the bejesus out of me trying to wrap my brain around the morbid curiosity of anyone that watched them.

It wasn't that the SHOW scared me, it was that people BELIEVED that crap that scared me.

Alas, here we are some 50 years later, right back where we started from.

Who in the hell ever came up with the idea of "Reality TV" in the first place? Honest to God, it's like watching the birthing of a hippo, only the mother is a Boston Terrier. It's a hard birth, frightening to watch, and you KNOW what the heck is going to happen in the end because, well, good lord, nobody is that damned dumb.

You know what, I'm gonna go further. TV is stupid. There I said it.

We've KNOWN it for years, but it keeps getting dumber by the day.

But guess who is a real fan of all this trashiness? Yep. Our illustrious leader, Sir Galahad the 1st, The Christ Vicar himself, Donnie "Jesus" Trump.

How do I know for sure?

Today, there's this fun filled, action packed news story about the great Trumpian announcing that he will "aid" the "Wealthy Farmers" of California, so they don't have it so hard. (I'm almost crying, to be honest, over the plight of these poor folks) What's he gonna do you ask? Why, he's gonna take the dirty nasty water away from those blamed city folk and all those poor people that don't even have a clean glass to drink out of anyway, and he's gonna give it to the deserving, well meaning rich farm folk out in Fresno County.

How does that tie into TV?

Look no further my friends, than Amazon Prime.

Yup, Trumpy's arch enemy Jeff "Beelzebub" Bezos.

Why is El Jefe Trumpy's arch enemy? Why he and his newspaper, that awful, failing, loser Washington Post writes bad things about all the pure, well intentioned things that the emperor does.

FAKE NEWS!!!! Danged Libtards anyway!

Ok, back to the TV Pilot of the Season.

If you're a member of Amazon Prime, which is like the new version of the betamax only without the beta or the max part, they deliver netflix like original content via the small screen via this new fangled thing called the internet. Yup, you get TV on the internet now....what'll those folks over at the NASA Research Center come up with NEXT????

Well anyway, rather than belabor the point further, Amazon Prime came up with this kind of interesting take on a drunk lawyer with a broken family working out of a run down empty pool hotel on the West Coast with an ex hooker for a paralegal and a Real Estate magnate for a partner. Oh ya, there is, of course, a really bad guy that is the drunk lawyers ex-partner who is out to get the drunk lawyer and kill him dead.

What an AWESOME plot theory!

Well, apparently it's enough to drag Trump McQueen into the equation.

The Show is called "Goliath" it stars none other than Billy Bob Thornton as the drunk lawyer. Not a far stretch, well, except for the lawyer part. But I actually think it's the actors NAME that drew our little Trumoloid into the action....anyone with a name like Billy Bob has GOT to be a Southern Republican, right? PERFECT for his next exploit.

And that is?

Yep, you guessed it. Giving water to the rich and taking it from the poor. Kind of like a modern day Robin Hood, only in reverse because, you know, Trump does EVERYTHING bass ackwards.

So let's cut to the chase as it were.

This year's storyline for Goliath, which is oddly enough billed as a "legal drama" (right up der' Fuehrer's avenue right?) stars Dennis Quaid as the "bad guy" who is stealing, along with his slippery sister played by Amy Brenneman, WATER from the poor and siphoning it to his farm and those of his wealthy buddies, guess where?????

Yup, California.

Now you KNOW, any legal drama just ain't a legal drama without Paul Williams...you know, the short little fella from Smokey & the Bandit.

I think that's where Alakazumpian there got the idea for "mini Mike" as a nickname for Mike Bloomberg...the guy he hates more than anybody because he IS ACTUALLY a rich bastard.

Ain't it just amazin' how TV fosters such festorous plots against humanity and how evil doers like the Trumpanzee will grab 'em and run with them?

Turns out that boy will grab more than pussy for shore! NO REALLY FOR SHORE....he'll steal the water right out from under your noses just to grow a pair of nuts....oh wait, that's a different story altogether!